


How Bruce Wayne Accidentally Stops Crime

by LokkisonD



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Wayne is Batman, Bruce is also a good bro, Minor Character Death, Multi, Platonic Relationships, but also some romance later too, fries and langstrom are going to bond over science fucking them over, harvey and bruce are just bros rn, he just really wants to help harvey and is going to help everyone as a result, he owns arkham, like literally owns the place now, more characters will be added later too, or at least try, punchline might show up later too i kinda vibe w her, tiiiiiiny bit of angst but nothing big tbh, will bruce have a crisis??? yea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:40:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 44,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27393637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokkisonD/pseuds/LokkisonD
Summary: Bruce knows it's a bad idea but the opportunity practically hits him over the head with a sledgehammer. With his kids out of the city to take advantage of their independence and Alfred visiting family for the month, Bruce jumps at the chance to help Jim make the city a little better for everyone.Somehow, this results in him being the sole owner of Arkham AsylumBruce soon finds himself in the company of the criminals he finds himself fighting every night. The more he gets to know them, however, the more he finds himself growing rather fond of the chaotic criminals.
Relationships: Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson, Harvey Dent/Bruce Wayne, Harvey Dent/Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nora Fries/Victor Fries, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 235
Kudos: 299





	1. Harvey Dent

**Author's Note:**

> Hello y'all
> 
> This is my new multi-chaptered fic!! Fair warning, though, it's not completely planned out and the updates will be much slower than my other fic. I have college applications and stuff to fill out even though I really want to take a gap year to work because my parents aren't going to help me pay and never let me get a job :,))) Even though I really, really wanna take that gap year my counselor is pressuring me to apply because I'm smart (which is a fucking lie). I fuckin' hate it here, aha...
> 
> Anyway, rant over; enjoy!
> 
> p.s the title will change I just don't know what to call it rn. its very accurate tho i promise

"Can you believe this place? I mean I know they were criminals but just _look_ at the state of it. What were those health inspectors on when they came in here?" James Gordon says, words tinged with disbelief. He's got a cup of coffee in one hand while he points out a very obvious hole in the ceiling of the cell that normally belongs to Nygma.  
  
Bruce grimaces at the sight. There's flaking, dried blood stuck around the edges of the hole. He peeks his head out the door and watches Montoya guide two handcuffed nurses down the hallway.  
  
Bullock is waving a few more officers Bruce doesn't know personally down the hall. They have guards who wear furious expressions struggling in their grasps. One woman manages to break free but Bullock is quick to round her up and push her back into another officer's grasp.  
  
The man soon stalks over to where Bruce and Jim are waiting and shakes his head. "I don't like this, Jim," he grumbles. "Helping criminals out like this? If you ask me they're getting whatever they deserve in here," he says.  
  
Jim shakes his head. "They may deserve to serve time, sure, but this is inhumane, Harvey. They've got Croc in a tank with the wrong type of water and Ivy locked in solitary for more than she should be. She spent three weeks straight in there, Harvey. _Three_. Poor woman was crying when we pulled her out of there."  
  
Bullock looks uncomfortable but Bruce knows even he agrees that Arkham was a right mess. From the blatant abuse of the patients to the unstable building conditions. That wasn't even touching upon the embezzlement, less than qualified staff, and the disregard of anyone's safety. The place needed a full clean out and Bruce was more than willing to take care of it with his own money.  
  
"Let's also not forget they're supposed to be getting help in here. I didn't put tens of thousands of dollars into this place just for it to fall into corrupt hands," Bruce adds quietly. Bullock shoots them both a frustrated glare.  
  
Jim claps the man's shoulder firmly. He says, "I know it feels wrong to be helping the people who have destroyed this city so many times but they're people too. Not very good people but they're people. And many of them just need the proper help."  
  
The man curses under his breath and nods once to Jim firmly. Bruce waves in Officer Wilkes who shakes his hand with a smile. "Mr. Wayne! It's an honor to meet you, sir," he practically sings. Bruce chuckles at the enthusiastic greeting and pumps their connects hands three times.  
  
"A pleasure to meet you, Officer Wilkes," Bruce says warmly. "I saw you walking with Officers Vincenzo and Frost. Would you mind documenting this cell for us and have them add it to the list? I'm afraid we've taken over this cell for a while and they never got a chance to stop in here," he continues.  
  
Officer Wilkes nods quickly. "Of course, sir! Right away!"  
  
The man scrambles out the cell to find an investigator with a camera to take photos and blood samples. Bruce shakes his head in amusement at the eager man and turns to Jim.  
  
"Where are you going to keep everyone? There's going to be a lot more traffic with people coming in and out with the renovations start," Bruce murmurs.  
  
"Unfortunately, they're going to have to be moved to Blackgate. I have a terrible feeling that things are going to go horribly wrong but there's no staff here to watch them, and my people can't be here twenty-four seven."  
  
Bruce grimaces at the answer and Jim nods in agreement. Bullock scoffs, "They're not gonna be stayin' in there for very long. Blackgate's guards are scared shitless of these guys. It's why they took Blackgate instead of here," the man says.  
  
Bruce already knows Batman is going to have to hang around the place a lot more than he wants to.  
  
The three men finally leave the cell to let Officer Wilkes lead two investigators with jumpsuits and cameras into the area. They move down the hallways as they talk in low voices to discuss how everyone would be transported. Although Bullock still seems rather skeptical of Bruce and his intentions he's definitely relaxed more around him enough to trust him with these details.  
  
Bruce finds himself frowning as he looks over where police officers stand around the crowd of patients. His eyes are drawn to where Poison Ivy is huddling underneath a blanket. She looks rather pale and is sitting with her knees drawn to her chest. Harley is rubbing a gentle hand over her left arm, their heads pressing together intimately.  
  
Then, he looks over to where a miserable Kirk Langstrom is having his wing wrapped. He only gets a glimpse of the long gash on the limb before the skittish nurse tending to him covers it with bandages carefully.  
  
Bruce pats Jim's arm lightly as he spots Harvey Dent sitting on a worn down couch. Jim turns his gaze over to the man and nods in understanding.  
  
"Come on, Harvey, let's go see where those trucks are," Jim says. Bullock watches Bruce carefully but follows Jim out toward the main entrance, radio in hand. Bruce watches them leave then walks through the crowd of criminals to stop in front of him.  
  
The man looks up in confusion but he brightens the slightest bit. "You're here," Harvey mutters in disbelief, "I thought you weren't coming back since it's been so long."  
  
Bruce smiles at him apologetically. "Things have been rather chaotic lately. I didn't mean to be away for so long. I'm sorry," he says quietly.  
  
Harvey shrugs and turns his gaze down to where his coin dances across his fingers. His mouth opens and closes as if he wants to speak so Bruce waits until Harvey looks at him again.  
  
The man says, "I don't understand what's happening. They just gathered us up in here and I...don't like it. Too different."  
  
Bruce reaches over slowly to squeeze his friend's arm gently. "Things are going to be changing. I'm working with Commissioner Gordon-well the whole police department, really-to clean out Arkham. Rehiring staff, fixing up the building..."  
  
Harvey's lips purse and he stills his hands. "What's going to happen to us?" he asks.  
  
"You're all being transferred over to Blackgate until we can get this place fixed up," Bruce reveals and Harvey looks more than uncomfortable at the news. An officer shakes his head and approaches.  
  
He says, "Mr. Wayne, do you really think it's a good idea to tell _him_ all of this?" the officer says and Bruce raises a neatly trimmed eyebrow in disbelief.  
  
"He's going to figure it out when he's brought over, anyway. Thank you for the concern, though."  
  
Bruce is rather glad this is happening on one of Harvey's good days. Bruce often left early when he visited in the past because Harvey wasn't up for visitors or was too violent for Bruce to chat with.  
  
The officer looks displeased but nods once and steps back to where he was standing. Harvey watches the man warily before turning back to Bruce, eyes softer than Bruce expected. "Will you come over with me? Until I get settled in?" Harvey asks quietly.  
  
Bruce has a million things to do. He has to meet up with Jim again and dozens of piles of paperwork to get started on. Not to mention he has a press conference in only a few hours because people were rather outraged about air-headed Brucie Wayne being the new owner of Arkham. With the persona he put on, however, Bruce isn't really surprised.  
  
"Yes," Bruce says with a reassuring smile. Harvey's shoulders slump in relief and the man soon turns to the side. The officer watching them tenses as Harvey reaches into his orange jumpsuit but the man only pulls out a pack of cards questioningly.  
  
Bruce nods and Harvey pulls them out of their box. He begins to shuffle them and Bruce can feel himself relaxing even amongst the inmates of Arkham.  
  
He and Harvey play Blackjack for almost seven games before the trucks show up. Harvey wins nearly every single game without even trying and Bruce still thinks the man cheated somehow.  
  
"Alright, alright; everyone get up. You're being shipped out!" Bullock shouts. There are confused murmurs from many but many look excited in the worst way. Bruce dreads the chaos this is going to create but the entire building was going to be fixed up around the same time. There was nowhere else to put them all.  
  
Harvey collects the cards and stands with a heavy sigh. Bruce hovers next to the man until he's ready to move. The two of them merge into the line that grows as the group begins to move out of the building slowly.  
  
Jim eyes him curiously but Bruce glances at Harvey briefly for the man to get the idea. He nods once and brings the radio up to his mouth to report it to Bullock and Montoya, who are handcuffing patients and guiding them onto the truck.  
  
Bruce is almost curious why nobody has tried to make a break for it yet.  
  
Montoya handcuffs Harvey and Bruce helps pull him into the back of the truck. Langstrom is already making himself small in the corner, eyes shut as he seemingly tries to catch some sleep. Fries is hunched over looking devastated as the doors slam shut, four guards around in the back of the truck with them.  
  
The engine rumbles to life and Bruce is quick to take his seat on the bench next to Harvey. Harvey has his coin within seconds to roll from finger to finger and the first ten minutes of the ride is spent in silence. Harvey finally closes his fingers around his coin and looks to Bruce, handcuffs clinking quietly.  
  
Bruce looks up from where he's answering a few emails he never got around to at the office before he was called in. "What is it, Harvey?" he asks and Harvey shrugs despondently. Bruce shuts off his phone at the expression he sees on the man's face.  
  
"I'm here to listen, Harvey. I promise," Bruce coaxes and Harvey nods once.  
  
They sit back in silence for a few more minutes until Harvey says quietly, "I'm getting tired, Brucie. I just wanted to make a difference and now look at me."  
  
Bruce frowns at the words. "You've done a _lot_ for others in the past, Harvey. You have the potential to do it again."  
  
Harvey shrugs again and can't bring himself to agree. He asks, "Can I tell you something, Bruce?"  
  
"Of course you can, Harvey."  
  
"It's stupid, of course, but I...wish I could be an attorney again. Some days I really miss the job. It was...what gave me purpose. I thought I could really help people and make this city something worth living in. And then...it's just all gone wrong," he whispers.  
  
Bruce smiles sadly. "It's an admirable goal, Harvey. You could still get there again, you know? Arkham just never gave you the chance in the past," Bruce tells him. Harvey swallows and laughs roughly.  
  
"There's not a chance in hell that's happening, Bruce. It's over for me."  
  
Bruce scowls and immediately takes the words as a challenge. He'd be damned if he let his friend sit in a cell for the rest of his life, stuck in the same cycle of committing crimes and being dragged back.  
  
"We'll see about that, Harvey," he murmurs cryptically, mind already racing with potential plans and strings he could pull to make it all happen. Harvey shoots him a semi amused look but they fall back in a more comfortable silence as the truck drives on.  
  
It's not until they reach Blackgate, after fifteen minutes of mulling over Harvey's practically hopeless mentality, that Bruce finally realizes why nobody has really tried anything.  
  
Everyone's too exhausted and beaten down to do so.


	2. Harvey Dent & Selina Kyle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Settling in, a press conference, and Selina Kyle herself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys :)
> 
> thank you sm for the positive response to the first chapter b/c holy cow!! im rlly glad y'all are liking the idea and i hope you enjoy where i go with this story!
> 
> please enjoy :)

Blackgate is _loud_. The place is larger than Arkham with how many petty crooks and criminals they house here. Bruce really thought the howls of Arkham and her inhabitants were bad then this is worse.  
  
There are men who eye them with fierce eyes and taunting words from behind the bars. There are a few criminals that perk up at the chance to make more connections, to boost their night time career, but Bruce already knows they'd sink themselves. None of the residents of Arkham were interested in sharing power with uppity Blackgate inmates.  
  
Jim is leading the way through the halls filled with laughing men and women. When Bruce glances back curiously he sees the sparkling eyes of Harley darting around, a dark gleam in them. She's got her arm around Ivy's shoulders and the two of them saunter together in line.  
  
They're really quite the couple. Ivy and Harley's minds combined could come up with truly cunning things. Not to mention they were awfully loyal to one another. It was harder to convince one of them to leave the other behind or even split them up when fighting them. Bruce had to admit, though, that it was nice to see Harley with someone who cared.  
  
He's broken from his thoughts when someone slams their hands against a cell door. It rattles heavily but Bruce is distracted by a man's wide, crazed smile.  
  
"Ah, I see Pretty Boy Wayne is joining us, now! Looks like I was right about the fresh meat here, boys!" he calls. Bruce finds himself rather unaffected, eyes sliding over the man coolly. Harvey, however, snaps his gaze to the man. A snarl creeps on the man's lips and Bruce places his hand on his friend's arm.  
  
Bruce murmurs, "Don't you dare, Harvey."  
  
Harvey looks at him with furious eyes. "I'm not going to let him just-" he starts in protest but Bruce shoots him a warning look.  
  
"Leave it, Harvey. I'm not letting you fuck up your first day in here."  
  
The scarred man's jaw clenches and he looks to where the man watches him. Harvey makes an odd cross between a growl and an attempt to speak before he turns away. Bruce squeezes his arm in gratitude and they continue walking.  
  
The group heads down the stairs in front of them. Harvey grimaces as it gets darker but Jim doesn't stop as they turn the corner. Punching the numbers into the keypad, Jim swings open the door and Bruce finds himself in a large space with cells all down the dimmed hall. The doors seem to be made of plexiglass or a material very similar to it.  
  
Montoya and a few of Jim's officers begin to uncuff each of them and lead them into their new cells. Bruce brushes his fingers over Harvey's hand reassuringly then strides over to where Jim is watching the process with Bullock a little ways away.  
  
Bruce joins them and asks quietly, "When are Waylon and Bane being shipped in?"  
  
Bullock sighs heavily and rubs his right hand over his forehead. "After we get these folks settled in. There's a group further below readying Croc's tank and Bane's reinforced cell," he tells him.  
  
"It's not as high quality as what you've got planned for him in Arkham but Croc's water will be kept warm for him at all times. Saltwater and everything." Bruce nods at Jim's words. He allows a small smile to come across his face when Harvey looks to him as he's uncuffed and guided into a cell.  
  
"Good. I honestly don't know how much longer he would've lasted. I assume that's what they wanted and would just claim ignorance or lack of funding," Bruce comments.  
  
Bullock stuffs his hands into his pockets and says, "As soon as we're finished here and they administer the sedatives they'll be shipped over as fast as possible."  
  
Jim turns away to listen to his radio for a moment and Bruce turns fully toward Bullock. "Those two won't get time outside of their cells, will they?" he murmurs and Bullock shakes his head.  
  
"Unfortunately they'd be more than willing to play ping pong with our police force if we let them out. They won't get any type free roaming in the yard while they're here," Bullock says wryly. Bruce holds out his hand to which Bullock takes.  
  
"Thank you for the information, Detective Bullock. It's an honor to be working with you," Bruce says. Bullock merely grunts and releases his hand. Bruce takes his leave and heads back to where Harvey sits in his cell, coin rolling over his fingers.  
  
Bruce knocks on the plexiglass gently and Harvey looks up. His face softens as he registers who it is.  
  
Bruce says, "I have to head out, Harvey. I've got a conference to get to and some things to take care of. I'd like to visit you tomorrow, if that's alright with you."  
  
Harvey nods wordlessly and they part with a few words of farewell. Bruce is halfway up the stairs when he realizes that he doesn't have a ride home. With Alfred out of the country and his kids gone he has nobody to pick him up after riding in the truck.  
  
"Ah..."  
  
Bruce turns back down the stairs to ask Montoya to drive him back to Arkham to pick up his car. The woman bursts into laughter at his embarrassed expression but merely twirls her keys around her finger and leads the way up the stairs. Bruce resolutely ignores Jim's amused expression as he follows her.

* * *

"Mr. Wayne!"  
  
The voices are either excited or judgemental. Each reporter is eager to get one of the most talked about stories this week. Cameras flash repeatedly and every damn person in the room talks at once.  
  
Bruce can only feel endlessly amused. "If you would please take your seats, ladies and gentlemen. I'll answer as many questions as I can in the time we have. I'm an even busier man now, it seems!" he says cheerfully.  
  
People begin to take their seats to ready themselves. Bruce knows he has to walk the fine line between making Brucie Wayne seem competent and a little airheaded. Too much of either would result in a mountain of bad press that would merely hinder him rather than be something to laugh about over breakfast coffee.  
  
The room is silent and Bruce smiles. He says, "I'd like to thank you all for giving me the opportunity to explain myself. I've seen rather shocking and very malicious things being said about me these past two weeks. I thought I should take the time to let you know why I decided to buy Arkham for myself."  
  
The room is so silent one could hear a pin drop. Bruce's smile disappears slowly and he doesn't bother consulting his cards. Annika would be furious that he didn't even try to pretend to read through what she wrote but he couldn't let that stop him at the moment.  
  
"I have a friend in Arkham. You all know him as former attorney Harvey Dent. He's important to me and I only want the best for him regardless of what he may have done as a result of his injuries. Unfortunately, Arkham is not that. In fact, rather than _helping_ anyone in there it seems to strive to actively hurt those they're supposed to be rehabilitating and working with."  
  
The murmurs start up. Arkham is a dark and foreboding place. Sometimes, there were kids who dared each other to get as close as possible because they thought it to be haunted. They always ended up being chased off by the booth guards. People actively stayed away and for good reason. Nobody wanted to be nearby if someone broke out or there was an emergency.  
  
Bruce continues, "I found myself in the lucky position to work with the GCPD to improve everything. Although I cannot divulge details at this time I can say I'm very grateful to all those who are working with me to completely remodel and renovate Arkham."  
  
The cameras flash repetitively and Bruce merely smiles for them, eyes sliding over the reporters who have jumped to their feet to shout questions. Bruce holds up his hands with a bubbling laugh and waits until they're quiet again.  
  
"I'll be taking plenty of questions now. One at a time, please," Bruce says and waits for someone to begin.  
  
A man stands and sends him a rather bland smile and says, "Mr. Wayne. I'm wondering what exactly makes you think you're qualified for, not only _owning_ , but also maintaining something as dangerous as a psychiatric hospital full of the most deranged criminals in Gotham?"  
  
Bruce barely twitches at the question. "Mr...?"  
  
"Gerald Lotor, Mr. Wayne."  
  
"Mr. Lotor, then. I will admit that I'm not entirely qualified," Bruce admits sheepishly, smile still on his lips, "but I have plenty of wonderful people I can work with who _are_. I'm more than qualified to work on the business, designing, and maintaining a place where those who need help can get it so they don't end up like the criminals we often see on the streets. This is not a one person job-not at all-but I have highly educated and trained professionals who do the things I cannot. I trust them entirely, and I'm very lucky to be working with them. I hope that answers your question, Mr. Lotor."  
  
The man looks vaguely uncomfortable as he sits back in his chair. Instead, a woman pops to her feet immediately with an eager expression, pens dropping from her lap as she does so. She looks at them with a dose of confusion but shakes it off.  
  
"Mr. Wayne, Laura Sargent for Gotham Gazette; I was wondering if you blame Batman for the treatment of those who are residing in Arkham?" the woman asks.  
  
Bruce stops for a moment. "To-to clarify; are you asking if I hold a grudge against Batman because he didn't stop the blatant abuse in Arkham or...?"  
  
The woman nods furiously and says, "Yes, yes. I'm sorry that wasn't clear."  
  
"No, it's quite alright. I think..." Bruce pauses. Did he blame himself? The answer was probably one of the most obvious he'd thought of in awhile. He wasn't proud of the answer but it was honest. "I think I'm rather upset with him, yes. Batman is supposed to be a symbol of justice and I think that...as time passed, he lost his way a little. How can he call himself that if-if he turns the other cheek at the obvious suffering of those who need help."  
  
Laura is writing furiously and she raises her pen as an indication of wanting to speak again. "So, Mr. Wayne, are you saying you don't approve of Batman and his methods?" she asks.  
  
Bruce taps his fingers against the podium. "It's complicated, I will admit. On one hand, it's very irresponsible and-and cruel of him to have just let that all happen. He...visits Arkham often enough. It's hard to think about what he saw there and never acted against when he's supposed to right the injustices in this city," Bruce says quietly. He does feel shame. Many of those criminals in there were still people who just had the universe working against them. "On the other hand, however, those in Arkham chose the path they went on. Batman does things that nobody else in this city can do, and he _does_ protect people. He saves lives. So...while I do thank him for that I'm also disappointed in him for turning away like that. For not trying harder," Bruce finishes. He clears his throat and smiles at Laura.  
  
"But what do I know? I don't seem very qualified to be speaking on this sort of thing. Thank you for your questions, Ms. Sargent."  
  
There are scattered laughs at his last words.  
  
Another woman stands and she gives him a cool smile. "Mr. Wayne, I'm Lucia Amato. I was curious if we could hear some examples of what you're planning to do when it comes to Arkham Asylum. Is there anything you can share with us today?" she says, voice light with curiosity. There's a bit of judgement in her eyes but Bruce doesn't really blame her. Until now he's been regarded as ditzy and rather oblivious to everything around him.  
  
"Of course, Ms. Amato. Lovely name, by the way," Bruce says with a wink, "We're planning to completely clean out the staff at Arkham. Nurses, doctors, guards; everyone. They'll all be replaced with much more trained and educated people. The entire building will be fixed up at the same time. We're trying to get everything done as quickly, and _carefully_ as possible but even then it's going to take time. Our main goal is to allow those who _want_ help to be able to get it in a secure environment that would allow them to be rehabilitated smoothly and properly."  
  
Lucia nods slowly and begins writing on her papers.  
  
The conference continues for nearly an hour. Bruce answers things as best as he can without giving too many details before the reporters stand to talk and head out. Bruce waves as he heads out the room. He's on his way out the door when a familiar face catches his attention.  
  
"Selina..." he breathes in surprise.  
  
Selina Kyle leans against the doorway. She has a press pass hanging around her neck on a blue lanyard. Bruce finds himself taken by her from the way her hair is curled to her blouse and pencil skirt combination.  
  
She looks pleased at the reaction but that drops away rather quickly. "I'm going to make this quick because we both have places to be; I need a lawyer, Bruce. The best one your money can buy," she tells him bluntly.  
  
Bruce's eyebrows furrow in confusion but he digs through his slack's pockets to pull out his phone. "Yeah, sure. I have a couple numbers I can give you right now, actually," he murmurs. When he looks up he finds himself freezing at the unreadable expression on her face. "What?"  
  
Selina shakes her head with an almost bemused smile on her glossed lips. "You are something else, Bruce Wayne. Not even gonna ask me what it's for?"  
  
Bruce shrugs carelessly. "That's your business."  
  
Selina's face changes to something he thinks is fond but could also be her planning to stab him in the kidneys. It really depended on the day with her, honestly. Bruce could deal with it either way though so he's not overly worried but his kids would make fun of him relentlessly if they heard about it.  
  
Bruce hands over his phone to let her copy down the numbers into her own. Selina is quick to do so and hands over his phone again. Bruce pockets it and before he can ask her if she needs anything else she's peering up at him with a smile.  
  
"Can I kiss you?" she questions, fingers hovering over his chest hesitantly. He's thankful she asks and shakes his head.  
  
"I don't...think that'd be a good idea with all these cameras around. I don't think I can afford a scandal right now. Maybe...dinner, though?" Bruce asks quietly. Selina looks faintly disappointed but she perks up at the offer.  
  
She grins at him and slides her hands down his arms to curl her hands around his. "Wonderful choice, Brucie. I'll pick you up tomorrow at eight, yes?" she purrs and Bruce nods quickly, face flushing faintly at her endlessly delighted expression.  
  
"That sounds great."  
  
The woman lets go of his hands and twirls on her heel gracefully. She practically glides across the floor as she heads to the door. While halfway through it, Selina turns with a sweet smile. "Wear that cute blue turtleneck, would you? It really brings out your eyes, darling~" she calls loudly and heads snap toward him.  
  
For the first time in his life, Bruce Wayne flees the incoming press and instead darts out the door to peer down the sidewalk.  
  
There's no sign of the woman in any direction. He can't help the pounding of his heart as he tries to prepare himself to be the entire focus of Selina Kyle for a whole night.

* * *

Bruce wakes up the next morning to articles and newspaper headlines all screaming different variations of the same story;  
  
_**BILLIONAIRE BRUCE WAYNE OPENS UP ABOUT HIS DISAPPROVAL OF BATMAN**_  
  
"Ah shit...Jason's going to piss himself laughing when he sees this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reporter: how do u feel about batman?  
> bruce: batman?? man he's a little bitch
> 
> i'll be updating this again (maybe) monday?? or tuesday?? im gonna be updating my dc playlist series this weekend (prolly w 2 fics) so we'll see. there'll be a lot of surprise updates prolly that are either early or late b/c sometimes i just write when im upset and i get upset a lot so,,,yay for u guys ig


	3. Waylon Jones, Bane, and Pamela Isley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waylon and Bane are shipped in, and Bruce observes Ivy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi
> 
> i was going to update my dc playlist series but every single one i wrote i would have to wrestle with and nothing i was writing satisfied me so i wrote out another chapter for this fic instead. 
> 
> hope y'all enjoy this tho i'm pretty okay with how it turned out
> 
> (also someone accurately guessed the whole ivy situation and i got scared i left my notes in the 2nd chapter)

Bruce enters Blackgate and meets with Jim and Bullock within the first few minutes. Bullock hands him a coffee and Bruce takes it with a grateful look. He may have already had some back home but today feels like it's going to be rather stressful.  
  
"What time are they bringing in Waylon and Bane?" Bruce asks, striding between the two men. Bullock flips his wrist to check the time on his watch.  
  
He says, "Twenty minutes. Technicians are giving everything one more look over. Should be hauling them over here as we speak."  
  
Bruce nods in understanding and takes a hearty swig of his coffee. They stride through the doors and head down the stairs, going even further past where the Arkham inmates are chattering and watch them. The metal stairs echo in the narrow space and Jim pushes open double doors to reveal the large area.  
  
The tank is big but not the size Bruce is aiming for in Arkham. Closer to the doors and on the left side is Bane's cell area. The walls and plexiglass door are reinforced. Bruce watches the technicians open and close the top of the tank multiple times to test it.  
  
"God, I hope this isn't a big mistake. The amount of casualties if we've gotten something wrong..." Jim's voice trails off. Bruce shares the feeling. Everything will be on Bruce, however, if one of them escapes. Everything here was his idea and if something goes wrong then it's on him.  
  
Bullock's face turns dark at the thoughts and Bruce's jaw clenches. "Then I'll take care of it if that happens," he says and Jim meets his eyes knowingly. He understands what Bruce is trying to tell him. That if any of them manage to get free to wreck Gotham then Batman will hunt them down and bring them back immediately.  
  
They inspect the area themselves until Jim answers the radio call of the trucks arriving. Bruce agrees to wait while Bullock and Jim rush up the stairs to assist in bringing in both of the men. Bruce watches as six guards begin to take post around the room while the technicians clear out.  
  
The doors are held open as men and women in uniforms wheel in a limp Waylon Jones. He looks rather vulnerable as Bullock barks orders for him to be lowered into his tank. Another group wheel in Bane who is out just as Waylon is. Bruce grimaces when he sees a spot of blood on the man's Arkham uniform.  
  
"Get him in there. He's going to be waking up soon!" A woman with dark hair and a bob calls. Bruce recognizes her as Susan Kline, a well known psychologist. She must be overseeing some of the therapy for the more compliant people that have been brought in, Bruce thinks.  
  
The men and women wheel Waylon up onto the top of the closed tank to prepare to lower him into his tank. Bruce watches them closely as they manage to lift him halfway up to shove a flexible pad underneath the man. Someone hooks a cable onto a metal hook at the edge of the pad.  
  
Bruce's eyebrows shoot up when he looks up. He'd seen the system, sure, but it was a rather smart way to get him in. A pulley system is set up high above them in the rafters. It all looks strong enough to shoulder the weight.  
  
He proves to be right as a large group begins to tug on the other ends of the cables. Waylon's body is lifted off of the gurney they kept him on. Bruce jogs over to assist, wheeling away the gurney for them.  
  
"Open the tank!" Jim shouts and there's an echoing buzz when Dr. Kline presses the buttons to open the tank up. The group of uniformed men and women begin to lower the man into the tank carefully until his entire body is submerged.  
  
Bruce isn't surprised to see it's Montoya who takes the time to pull on a wetsuit and dive into the waters. She's efficient in unclipping the cable and pulling the pad from underneath Waylon carefully. Montoya then swims back to the surface and climbs out as the others pull up the cables and pads from the tank.  
  
Bullock offers her a towel and the woman rubs it over her hair with a shiver. "Thanks," she murmurs as she then pulls it around her shoulders.  
  
The tank's doors are closed up securely and the officers begin to disperse with relieved murmurs. Bane is still on the floor of his cell, seemingly knocked out. Waylon is floating in his tank quietly.  
  
"Nice job, everyone!" Jim calls. The tension in the air seems to calm even further as a few give nervous chuckles as they begin to head out of the room after thanking the commissioner. Bullock nods to the posted guards at the door and Bruce ends up opting to stay in the room until they wake.  
  
Dr. Kline lingers only for a few minutes longer for them to work out a meeting with one another. Bruce already knows she'll be quite valuable to his cause. She has intelligent eyes and a rather gentle heart. Bruce shakes her hand with a smile and a promise to meet tomorrow for lunch.  
  
He waits no less than twenty minutes until there's a loud _thud_. Alarmed, Bruce whips around from where he's looking over the temperature of the tank once more. There's the click of guns but Bruce's heartbeat slows when he realizes Waylon is only watching him with sharp, slitted eyes.  
  
"Hello, Waylon," Bruce says calmly, waving at the guards. Although they look wary they stand down easily enough. Waylon follows him with his eyes as Bruce approaches the side. They don't speak but Waylon has an odd expression on his scaled face. His jaws part soundlessly twice but before the man can speak for real there's a furious howl from Bane's cell.  
  
Bruce curses quietly and jumps down from the platform neatly. Three guards flank him immediately but Bruce ignores them in favor of standing before the hulking, furious man. His fists slam against the door, pounding and slamming repeatedly. Bruce can feel his heart beginning to speed up again.  
  
He's been under those fists before. He’s felt them bruise and break his body in the past. This man is strong but without Venom he's not going to be able to break out so easily. Still, Bruce can't help but flinch slightly when Bane smashes his fists against the plexiglass once more.  
  
Bruce says over the flurry, "You're going to exhaust yourself, Bane. Just stop."  
  
The man roars and anger and punches at the door again. There's something so animalistic, so angry, in his eyes. Bruce doesn't think he'll ever quite understand Bane ever. This belief is reinforced when Bane slowly calms and watches him with a snarl.  
  
"This... _cage_ will not hold me forever, you puny man," he growls, voice rough with use. A guard next to him tenses at the words even as Bruce steps closer to the door. He tips his head up to meet the man's eyes.  
  
"Maybe not," Bruce murmurs despite his heart racing and his body wanting him to back away from the obvious threat, "but it'll hold you as long as we need. You need Venom to be able to get out of here cleanly, Bane. You're strong but not that strong."  
  
Bane's eyes flash and his fists clench dangerously but he only tips his head. His eyes are roaming over Bruce with an almost curious look replacing his fury. His fists unclench and he instead places one over the plexiglass, eyes never leaving Bruce's figure for even a moment.  
  
There's recognition. Bruce doesn't know if Bane knows but he does know that Bane's learning _something_. Something he deems important enough not to taunt Bruce with yet. Not enough to lay his cards on the table immediately.  
  
Instead of trying to pursue anything on that topic, Bruce asks, "Has anyone told you why you've been moved to Blackgate?"  
  
At Bane's silence, Bruce nods slowly. Of course they wouldn't have told these two anything. Bruce knows Waylon is listening from the feeling of the predatory eyes on him. The man is either interested in hearing what he has to say or wants to tear him apart.  
  
"Arkham is now in my hands. Everything in there is being fixed up completely. And I really do mean everything. We needed somewhere to keep you all just until Arkham is up to standards. You'll be moved after everything is settled."  
  
Bane doesn't say a word, so Bruce takes a moment to unhook a walkie-talkie from a nearby guard's belt. He radios Jim and says, "Everything seems to be clear in here, Jim. They're up and about but I can't find any pressing weaknesses in the tank or the cells."  
  
"Alright, Bruce. Meet us upstairs, would you? Ivy's going wild in her cell right now and the guards aren't sure what to make of it. She's never done this type of thing before and I'm too far away right now," Jim's voice crackles.  
  
"I'll be right there," Bruce says and releases the button. He hands it back over to the guard and turns to head out. He's swinging the door open when Bane finally speaks up again.  
  
"If you disappoint me, Wayne," Bane rumbles, "I promise I will snap your spine with my two hands."  
  
The guards immediately tense up again at the words but Bruce only turns back to meet the man's eyes with a slightly bitter smile. He murmurs, "I know," and steps through the door. He doesn't bother looking back into the room and simply strides up the stairs with only the slightest sense of fear gathering in his chest.  
  
Bane would always unnerve him and Bruce hates that fact.  
  
He pushes all of that aside and instead makes his way back into where many of the Arkham patients are held. There's the very familiar sound of angry howls of Ivy and Bruce almost stops in confusion. The woman was often quiet in Arkham. She wielded cutting insults and spat venomous words to others, yes, but she was mainly quiet.  
  
This was different and Bruce isn't sure how to feel. He approaches the woman's cell and notes her wild eyes. He takes in her pale skin, to her dulled hair, to even her sunken appearance. Bruce's eyebrows shoot up in confusion.  
  
The woman presses against the glass desperately. "My plants are crying out for me. I need to answer their call!" she says shrilly. Bruce meets Dr. Kline's eyes and the woman seems to understand what he wants.  
  
The woman makes her way to Harley's cell. The two of them speak in low tones, Harley looking more distressed than Bruce has ever seen her. Dr. Kline grimaces and nods to the blonde woman before making her way to Bruce's side.  
  
"We've completely overlooked something; Ivy needs the sun. She was in solitary confinement for three weeks, Mr. Wayne. She hasn't been in it besides walk inside Blackgate yesterday and that's not enough for her," the woman tells him.  
  
Bruce asks, "How did she survive Arkham? They don't get light in those cells either, you know."  
  
"They let them out for a certain amount of time. Dr. Quinn says she would take in as much as she could and wait for the next time to be let outside."  
  
Bruce nods slowly and thanks the woman quietly. Dr. Kline steps back as Bruce stands in front of Ivy's cell. The woman looks miserable and Bruce can feel himself softening the slightest bit.  
  
He asks loudly, "How long would you need to be in the sun for?"  
  
Ivy seems to shudder at the mere thought and murmurs, "An hour right now to make up for the lack. Normally it is a simple half hour a day."  
  
"And will you behave, Dr. Isley, if we let you out?" Bruce asks. It's practically useless getting promises from them but he nearly smiles at the way Ivy perks up at the words. Her grin is sharp and keen.  
  
She spreads her arms out with a chuckle. "When have I not behaved like a perfect lady, Mr. Wayne?"  
  
Bruce waves a guard over to snag their walkie-talkie again. "Hey, Jim, we're taking Ivy out for an hour. Have a few extra guards on standby, would you?" Bruce says into the device. He only has to wait a few seconds for Jim's exasperated voice to filter through.  
  
"I'll be right there. I hope you know what you're doing, Bruce."  
  
Bruce doesn't bother responding and instead hands the radio back to the man. They wait until they see Jim's body appear through the door. Jim nods to the guards as he settles at Bruce's side.  
  
"Cuff her up. We'll bring her out to the garden and she can work on it if she wants to," Jim says. Someone unlocks and slides her cell open while two more cuff her without resistance. Ivy looks to the door with anticipation and allows the guards to guide her out of her cell.  
  
Two more guards join them to walk with them through the doors. Bruce notices the way the woman's legs wobble slightly but despite that she walks through the doorway confidently and makes her way up the stairs without a hint of fatigue.  
  
The howls of the other inmates start up but Ivy only bares her teeth at them with fiery eyes. Bruce has to admire her for that but she knows she's stronger, even while exhausted like she is, than many of the people who are in here. She could definitely put down pretty much anyone in here if she wanted to.  
  
They round the corner and head down two hallways until they reach a set of double doors. Jim pushes them open and they all step outside into the courtyard. Ivy sighs in what seems to be relief and basks in the morning sun. There's a bit of a chill but none of them really mind.  
  
Jim points to the right side near the building. "That's the garden. Not many in here really care for it but maybe you'll be able to take the reins."  
  
Ivy looks irritated at the state of it. The flowers and what looks to be vegetable plants are wilting. The dirt around the little garden is dry and uneven. Ivy glares at the guard still restraining her until they let go at Jim's look. Then, she hurries over to it with a forlorn sigh.  
  
Jim takes a seat at one of the benches but Bruce follows after the woman. A few guards stand nearby as he crouches next to Ivy. Although her hands are cuffed in front of her she doesn't seem to let that stop her from digging through the dirt even with her limited movement.  
  
"Jim, could we get her uncuffed?" Bruce calls. Jim looks uncertain. He looks over Ivy's hunched form, the way she tries to work around the cuffs only for them to clink noisily and rub her skin, then nods.  
  
A guard shuffles closer with careful steps and kneels down. Ivy turns to him and only smirks as the man frees her from her confines. Then, the guard hurries to his feet and takes quite a few steps back until he's safely away from the woman.  
  
"I hope you know that was very stupid of you," Ivy says quietly.  
  
Bruce responds, "Yes, but we both know that you won't be getting time outside again if you screw this up."  
  
Ivy doesn't bother to reply to him. She sifts through the dirt and looks delighted when she finds two worms that writhe in her hands. She places them by a few of the plants and watches them tunnel back into the dirt.  
  
"Do you...like bugs?" Bruce asks hesitantly. Ivy's brows furrow and she looks to Bruce. Then, she bursts into delighted laughter. Bruce pushes past his embarrassment and feels a little satisfaction at getting the woman to laugh. Even if it was at his expense.  
  
Ivy shakes her head. "Worms help my darlings grow. I do not particularly like them but they're quite helpful," Ivy says and her hands hover over a wilted rose. She closes her eyes and Bruce watches her expression change from concentration to delight. The flower slowly straightens itself and it regains its color. Bruce smiles as it blooms right beneath her hands.  
  
Ivy spends the next forty minutes reviving the plants. She sings, voice soft and loving as she urges them to grow. To flourish beneath her hands and stand tall underneath the sun. She even makes one guard get her the watering can to wet the soil around her plants.  
  
Although her hands are dirtied and there's grass stains on her uniform's knees Ivy looks happy. Happier than she has in awhile.  
  
"Turn toward me, would you?" Bruce requests. Ivy looks at him and Bruce looks her over carefully. Her eyes are brighter, skin looking less pale and regaining her more green hue. Her lips are less pale than they were before as well. Bruce nods in approval. The biggest difference is her hair. It's back to its shining, red color.  
  
Ivy snorts when she notices what Bruce wanted to look over. "The sun does wonders for me, doesn't it?"  
  
"I didn't know you needed it so much," Bruce says quietly. Ivy shrugs lazily as she leans over to try to even out the dirt.  
  
"It's awful. Solitary was _so_ cold. My babies were calling for me. They needed me and it almost," Ivy shivers, "it almost broke me. They needed my love and I couldn't give it to them while I was in there."  
  
Bruce winces in sympathy. "I can see if I can negotiate longer and regular trips out here. That's only if you can behave, though, or else they'll have it taken away."  
  
Ivy studies him carefully from where she kneels. "I don't like you, Mr. Wayne," she says quietly, "I hate you, in fact. However...you see oddly genuine."  
  
"Thank you, I think?"  
  
"So, I'll keep my end of the deal _if_ you keep yours."  
  
Bruce can't help the smile that creeps across his lips. He tells her, "I won't let you down, Dr. Isley."  
  
Ivy only scoffs and returns to tending her garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruce: i-  
> ivy: shut the hell up
> 
> i have a giant crush on poison ivy she's one of my favorite characters and shes so pretty. i love selina more tho i think idk girls are just so awesome tbh
> 
> id like to also warn u guys; i pick and choose from canon what to put in here bc its just a fun little fic that wouldn't leave me alone. there's not gonna be a ton of action until like one or two chapters later on but it is what it is


	4. Selina Kyle, Harvey Dent, & Harley Quinn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce goes on his date with Selina, talks with Harvey, and decides to accept a request from Harley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!
> 
> im in a pretty good mood so here's this slightly earlier than i was expecting so please enjoy :)
> 
> also idk anything about dates tbh??? ive never been on one so idk im so sorry!! like where do u go??? what the hell do u talk about??? that sounds so awkward

Bruce, after spending the rest of his day in a meeting in Wayne Enterprises to speak with a few of his business partners, is relieved to be home. He gets the chance to enjoy hot water in his shower before he begins to get dressed for his dinner with Selina.  
  
By the time he hears someone blowing the horn of a car outside he's practically ready. He swipes his wallet, phone, and keys from his dresser and stuffs them into his coat pockets. Then, Bruce makes his way down the stairs. He sets the house's alarm and locks up the front door.  
  
A sleek, red sports car is idling in front of the house. Bruce can't help the amused smile that crosses his lips and makes his way down the front steps. Selina watches him, her own red lips curling into an approving smile when she sees him wearing the blue turtleneck as she demanded.  
  
Bruce slides into the car and pulls the seat belt over his body. "Nice car, Selina. You didn't steal it, did you?" he teases gently. Selina barks out a laugh as she pulls away from the door smoothly and down the long road away from his house.  
  
"It practically was for how cheap that asshole salesman was selling it for."  
  
Bruce chuckles. "I'm willing to believe that."  
  
They drive in comfortable silence for a while. Bruce watches the buildings fly buy and Selina guides them down the darkened streets of Gotham. Eventually, he asks, "Where exactly are we heading to?"  
  
Selina slows the car to turn left and drives down the road. "Somewhere fun. Don't you worry your pretty head about it, Bruce."  
  
Bruce watches her carefully and wonders in the back of his mind if she's going to attempt to kill him. Bruce really wouldn't be surprised, to be honest. It's certainly happened before and it's entirely possible it's going to happen again.  
  
He looks up and raises an eyebrow when they roll up to the gate of Iceberg Lounge. Selina shrugs at his glance in her direction. She says, "Ozzy's place is a fun time when you're not being thrown around by his men, you know."  
  
She pulls into a space and they both get out the car. There's a long line of dressed up men and women chattering together. Selina, clad in a shimmering red dress and matching pumps, strides in front of the line confidently. There's a few muttering complaints but Bruce eyes the direction they come from and they stop rather quickly.  
  
Selina winks at the man in charge of guiding the restless socialites into the nightclub. Bruce follows her without a second look to the more outraged looking patrons.  
  
The place is already in full swing. On the second floor there are figures gambling with vigour while the first floor is filled with diners listening to the band. Selina takes a table and slides into her chair with a smirk. Bruce sits across from her and shakes his head in wonder.  
  
"I take it you come here often?"  
  
The woman laughs and leans back. "Often enough to have a regular table," she tells him over the music. Before Bruce can comment, however, she leans forward. Her face is more stoic than before but her eyes are bright with tightly contained fire. "I'm trusting you, Bruce, not to come back here later if you see something. Don't ruin this," Selina says softly, eyes trained on Bruce's face.  
  
Bruce barely twitches. "I know, Selina," he murmurs, "but I won't promise that. You know I can't."  
  
Selina's lips twitch into the start of a snarl. The waiter, however, saves the day by smoothly handing over two menus. Bruce accepts it with a smile and Selina flips hers open with a tight expression.  
  
They order drinks and lobster dinners. As soon as the waiter heads away Selina leans forward with a fierce expression.  
  
"Oswald is a dear friend of mine, Bruce. I'd be _very_ displeased if something happened to him," she says carefully. Bruce tips his head to the side and smiles coldly.  
  
"Oswald may be your dear friend, Selina, but he's not mine. I still have a job to do and I can't afford to make exceptions."  
  
Selina hisses, "You've made plenty of exceptions. From your own fucking kids to even me."  
  
They fall quiet again when their drinks are delivered. Bruce accepts his and immediately takes a sip from it. Once again, the waiter leaves and they're left alone. Bruce tilts his glass to watch the wine swirl. He tips his head and a genuine smile crosses his lips.  
  
"You're right, of course," Bruce says and Selina's entire body relaxes. Her scowl turns into a satisfied smile and Bruce can't help but chuckle at her reaction. At least it doesn't seem like she'll leap over the table and murder him, now.  
  
The rest of the evening goes relatively smoothly. Their conversations turn to much lighter topics even when Oswald joins them briefly. Bruce doesn't even say a word when the man leans down to murmur in Selina's ear. Instead, he merely drinks from his glass and finishes up his dinner.  
  
They stumble out an hour later, Bruce rather tipsy and Selina much better off than him after only having one drink. He's positive she would be fine to drive even if she did have more than that (she was hard to get drunk, Bruce learned over the years) but he's thankful she's being careful.  
  
Selina starts up the car and pulls out of the parking lot. Bruce is content to sit in silence for a bit until Selina slows the closer they begin to get to the manor. Bruce looks to her in confusion but Selina doesn't look back.  
  
"I need that lawyer because I...have some old charges on my record. Petty theft and some old speeding tickets. Easy enough to clear up, yes. I mainly need to find out who'll be the best to clear Eddie's record," Selina says in the silence. Bruce raises an eyebrow.  
  
He asks, "Do you really think they'll wipe his record clean after everything?"  
  
Selina shakes her head and tells him, "Not yet. But you're going to help in your own way, you know."  
  
"Oh? Am I?"  
  
Selina gives him a grin that shows off her gleaming teeth. "Yes, you are. They'll be more willing to do so once Eddie starts seeing his psychologist for real instead of fucking with them. I need you to tell him this since I can't really get in there right now."  
  
"Will he really listen to me?" Bruce asks. Selina takes a right and begins to head up the long, road that leads up to the front of Wayne Manor.  
  
"He'll listen if you mention that Oswald is in support of it. Ozzy just wants his boyfriend to be out of prison for more than two fucking months at a time," Selina says as she pulls up next to the manor's front steps again. Bruce nods his head slowly in understanding.  
  
He murmurs, "I'll take care of it."  
  
They share a smile and Bruce unbuckles his seat belt. Selina leans closer to Bruce, her forearms pressing against the cup holder between the seats as she gazes at him. Bruce leans down slowly and Selina connects their lips in a warm kiss that has Bruce's eyes sliding shut. Selina pulls away carefully and begins to slide her hand back. Bruce snatches her wrist and raises an eyebrow.  
  
In her hands is Bruce's wallet. Selina pouts but drops it back in his hand. She plants another kiss to his lips before Bruce steps out of the car. He shuts the door and steps back a few times with a smile on his lips. He can't help but laugh when he sees Selina waving a few twenty dollar bills between her index and middle fingers. She sets them down in the cup holder and rolls away with a wink.  
  
Bruce turns on his heel with what he knows is silly grin. Then, Bruce goes inside and suits up for a night of grueling patrolling.  
  
He spends the night grappling from building to building. The crimes begin to blur together at some point. He rounds up criminal after criminal, the only memorable one being a rather painful fight with Karlo. Bruised and sporting a bloody nose, Bruce delivers him to Blackgate, relieved when they still have open cells near the other Arkham patients.  
  
Most of them are asleep but Harley does wave at him from where she's halfway hanging off the bed. Bruce ignores it and lets a guard open the cell next to Fries. Then, he guides Karlo in and they lock the cell door.  
  
The rest of the night is rather tame and Bruce ends up heading to bed sooner than he expects.  
  
The next day finds Bruce striding into Blackgate, tiredly signing in at the front desk. His body aches and his nose is, thankfully, not broken and instead just bruised. A little make-up fixed that until it was nearly unnoticeable. Makeup couldn't fix his aching legs and shoulders unfortunately so he has to ignore it as he makes his way down the stairs.  
  
He punches in the code to the keypad and the door unlocks. He steps through and smiles when he sees Harvey, hair damp, in waiting in his cell.  
  
"Can I come in?" Bruce asks and Harvey nods. Bruce turns back to where the guards are and waves. A woman leans over to punch in another code and pushes one of the various buttons to open Harvey's cell long enough for Bruce to step in and take a seat on the bed.  
  
His phone vibrates in his pocket and Bruce checks it briefly.  
  
_Selina K: Remember how you asked how you could help my organization? During dinner?_  
  
Bruce skims over the text in interest and replies while Harvey peers over his shoulder curiously, chin resting on Bruce's shoulder.  
  
_Bruce: Yes._  
  
_Bruce: Have you thought of a way?_  
  
"Selina? Selina _Kyle_?" Harvey questions and Bruce nods with a small smile. The scarred man shakes his head in disbelief. "Since when were you cozy with her?" he asks.  
  
Bruce tips his head back with a little difficulty to look at his friend as he speaks, "We went on a date last night, actually."  
  
Harvey's expression changes to one of disbelief and something Bruce can't identify at this angle. "We're talking about the same Selina Kyle, right? The one who kicked your ass when you showed up late to your last date with her because of that board meeting?"  
  
_Selina K: Take me to your next gala as your date. I want the chance to chat with any potential sponsors._  
  
_Bruce: Consider it done._  
  
Bruce snorts. "Yeah, well, that wasn't the only reason she was angry at me. In all honesty, I was half expecting her to poison my food but it was...really nice."  
  
Harvey seems to grimace and Bruce raises an eyebrow at the reaction. Two-Face and Catwoman were actually rather fantastic partners. Although he doesn't like the way she plays with her prey, and she detests his decision making skills (especially when they fuck her over), they were both a formidable duo. Harvey knew who she was, too. They were oddly close.  
  
"What's wrong?" Bruce asks, placing his phone to the side. Harvey leans back and shrugs lazily, eyes drifting to the wall. Bruce watches the man's hands go through the motion as if he were flipping a coin before they curl suddenly and he crosses his arms over his chest.  
  
"Nothin', Brucie. Let's...just play cards, yeah?" Harvey says roughly, moving to grab the pack. Bruce kicks off his shoes and brings his legs up to sit cross-legged.  
  
They play a few easy games of Blackjack again. Bruce can't help his cackles of glee when Harvey consistently finds himself over the limit each round. Bruce knows he shouldn't but the outraged expression the man adopts whenever he's over is too amusing for him and he breaks into laughter again.  
  
"This is rigged," Harvey grumbles, throwing down his cards. Bruce shakes his head and reveals his own perfect twenty over Harvey's twenty-six.  
  
Bruce says, "It's not, but I'll pretend for your sake."  
  
They lay on the cramped cot in silence for a while after that. Bruce nudges Harvey with his hand and asks, "Would you be open to seeing a psychiatrist regularly while you're still in here?"  
  
Harvey's gaze snaps to him and he's beginning to look defensive. "What for? Those clowns never help. What-what brought this on?!"  
  
Bruce sits up, leaning on his elbow. "Relax, Harvey. I'm not going to push it if you want to wait until you're in Arkham again. Or, I suppose, if you don't want to at all," Bruce soothes, "I just...you said you wanted your job back. I told you before it's not impossible, Harve."  
  
Harvey's fingers twitch and he clenches them tightly. He then plants his hands over his stomach and resolutely doesn't look toward Bruce. The man growls, "The last psychiatrist I had told me I was a lost cause, Brucie."  
  
Bruce's eyebrows furrow. "You're not, Harve. You're really not. You just need the right kind of help-the _competent_ kind of help," he tells Harvey, one hand settling over his fists. Harvey's hands lose a bit of tension and one of them unfurls to flip onto its back. Bruce smiles and slides his hand into Harvey's.  
  
"Is this what you want? Me seein' those fuckers?" Harvey rasps. Bruce shakes his head and squeezes the hand now clutching his.  
  
"This really isn't about what _I_ want, Harve. Yes, I'd love for you to do all that but it's really up to you. If you want to then I can help as much as you want me to," Bruce says softly.  
  
Harvey turns his head to finally look at his friend. He asks softly, "And if I say no?"  
  
Bruce swallows but ignores the heavy feeling in his heart. "Then...I respect it. I never touch this topic again until you bring it up."  
  
Harvey nods sharply and Bruce lays back down. Their hands stay connected even when Bruce wakes from a short nap, Harvey's gleaming eyes the first thing he sees when he opens his own eyes. They stay connected up until Bruce has to leave to check in with the others.  
  
As soon as he leaves he immediately wants to retreat back to Harvey.  
  
Instead, he stops by where Harley is walking on her hands around her cell. He knocks on the clear door and Harley tips with a yelp. Nygma laughs from where he lays with a book in hand in the cell across from her. Harley springs back to her feet with a beaming smile.  
  
"Mr. Moneybags, sir! Good to see ya!" she chirps. Bruce raises an eyebrow but can't help the small smile at the cheerful woman.  
  
"Morning, Dr. Quinn. I just thought I'd ask, although I think I know the answer; would you like me to try to get you time outside as well? I thought you both might be pleased with some time together outside," Bruce says.  
  
Harley's eyes sparkle and she darts closer. "Oh, would ya? I ain't got any time to even hug her since we got in here. Even before I barely saw her! Ya think they'd let a gal see her girl every once an' awhile but no!" she gripes. Bruce chuckles and nods.  
  
"I'm going to be negotiating hours for Dr. Isley to go out, so I'll make sure to add you in there as well. Just thought I should check beforehand."  
  
Harley grins at him. "Ya know, Pammy might hate ya but I think ya ain't so bad," she says.  
  
"I'm flattered, Dr. Quinn," Bruce says.  
  
Harley waves her hand in a teasing manner. Then, her expression shifts to one full of urgency and Bruce is startled by the quick change. "Mr. Moneybags Wayne, sir! Could ya do me a teeny, tiny lil' favor?" she asks, an anxious smile on her lips.  
  
Bruce immediately feels fear.  
  
"That...depends, Dr. Quinn..." he says carefully. Harley pouts and hurries back to her cot. She lifts up her pillow and takes out a photograph. She rushes back to the door and slaps it against it.  
  
"My babies are all alone at Amusement Mile! Bud an' Lou can't take care of themselves. They're probably scared an' all alone without their mama to pamper 'em. Could ya go an' pick 'em up? Oh, but don't send those police fuckers, either. They'll just hurt 'em." she pleads.  
  
Bruce's fears are amplified at the words. Bud and Lou are vicious. They'll surely recognize him, and even if they don't they'll still probably try to take his leg or arm off.  
Harley does look devastated though...  
  
Bruce deflates and nods. "I'll pick them up tonight," he agrees. Harley bounces on her toes.  
  
"Ya will?!" she nearly shrieks, "Thank you! Yer a doll, Mr. Moneybags Bruce Wayne, sir!"  
  
Bruce shakes his head and tries to plan how the hell he's going to get two adult hyenas back to the manor without looking suspicious. Or get fatally injured along the way. Honestly, Bruce isn't feeling too optimistic about this. Harley would probably kill him if he drugged them, too.  
  
Before he can ask for suggestions on how to go about moving Bud and Lou, there's a guard that bursts through the door. Her eyes are a bit panicked but she spots Bruce and darts over for him.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Mr. Wayne. I just thought I should tell you as quick as possible; the Commissioner wants another cell readied because they're shipping in the Joker soon. He's just been apprehended by the police!"  
  
Bruce's brain promptly shuts down at the news.  
  
" _Fuck_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruce to harvey: pls see a professional i want u happy and healthy <3  
> also bruce when alfred mentions therapy: no💖
> 
> also surprise!! the joker is coming to bully the FUCK out of bruce soon. i feel like he's going to be super fun to write in this and hopefully i can portray him and bruce & his' relationship the way i want to
> 
> again, warning; harvey and bruce r going to be getting together later!! it won't take up too much of the story and it will still mainly be bruce vibing with criminals but it will def happen and def be obvious. no im not tossing selina to the side please note the tag update i love and respect selina too much for that type of thing
> 
> karlo/clayface was a surprise tbh but i like the idea and bruce is gonna talk w him too soon :)


	5. Bud & Lou and Joker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce wrestles with Bud and Lou and alternates between wanting to throat punch the Joker and kind of being fond of the man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi :)
> 
> i had a lot of fun with bud and lou tbh and they'll def get more time later. they like chewing on bruce's limbs unfortunately

There are several things wrong with this message. Number one; the fact that the police caught Joker was highly suspicious. Bruce meant no offense to the hard working GCPD but there was no way in hell they were able to catch and _keep_ , more importantly, Joker. The man was tough as nails and scarily intelligent for how batshit crazy he is.  
  
Two; if the Joker was caught by the police then that meant the man had let himself be caught. He'd willingly gave himself up to the police and that also meant there was a bigger plan going on in the shadows. What it is, Bruce isn't sure, but he knows it won't be good for anyone.  
  
Three; Bruce is not ready to have to face down the man in Blackgate of all places. He can't think of a single ending to this situation that doesn't end in a higher body count than ever before. It'd be easy pickings, really. Guards who weren't trained for the viciousness and sheer cunning of Joker plus a building full of willing lackeys? That equals nothing but disaster.  
  
Harley laughs in glee. "Puddin' is comin'? Aw, I knew he couldn't stay away from the party," she chirps excitedly, dancing around her cell until she trips. Her body falls back onto her bed and she falls into giggles again.  
  
"Goddammit," Langstrom groans from where he's attempting to stretch his wings, a pained wince on his face. Bruce makes a note to get the chance to find somewhere to let him fly. It must be uncomfortable being so cramped with extra limbs so large.  
  
"My apologies for that. Do you know when he's being shipped in?" Bruce questions. The guard nods.  
  
"The Commish wants Joker shipped in tonight to get 'im off the streets."  
  
Bruce curses much softer than before. He's not sure how he managed to forget the Clown Prince of Crime himself but it's an error that Bruce is beating himself up over. This wasn't going to end well, Bruce knows. Managing the man would be insanely hard to do outside of Arkham when it was hard enough to do inside.  
  
They wrap it up while Bruce gets the main details. Joker will be drugged up on the strongest sedatives they had. He was practically immune to everything else they had so Bruce knew he was going to have to get a group of his own to work with that to develop something that would effect the Joker better. Even on the sedatives Joker was still rather lucid and still capable of killing most of his guards.  
  
He'll be kept in one of the nearby cells and the room was to be monitored heavily with the violent new addition. Bruce knows it won't be enough.  
  
He thanks the guard and slumps when she leaves, raking his fingers through his hair. He's already feeling jittery and alert, practically ready to deal with anything at a moment's notice. He knows the other Arkham patients are watching him but Bruce doesn't care. He instead heads out the front doors to grab a nap while he can. It's looking like he's going to be awake all night tonight.  
  


* * *

  
Bruce only manages to catch another two hours before he wakes and needs to work off his energy. There's still a long way to go before he's going to be overseeing the Joker's entrance to the jail. He decides he might as well go grab Bud and Lou beforehand and get that done as soon as possible. The thought of the hyenas finding their way out of Amusement Mile is horrifying enough to have Bruce packing a bag full of supplies immediately.  
  
He debates taking the entire suit with him. Although they can bite through it if they were determined enough with enough force from their snapping jaws, Bruce thinks that'll have them on guard so he only takes certain pieces of his suit. Besides, if someone saw Batman in his full suit trying to herd some hyenas in _broad daylight_ Bruce would have to immediately kill Batman and move out of Gotham from the sheer embarrassment that would cause.  
  
No, Bruce is not being dramatic; it's a perfectly valid reaction.  
  
He tosses the bag in the back of one of his more inconspicuous cars, a second hand van for when they go out as a whole group, and heads off to the nearest butcher to buy close to sixty pounds of raw meat for them after a quick search on Google on what the hell they might want to eat.  
  
The butcher gives him odd looks but Bruce hauls it out to the car and prays it won't drip on the seats as he gets there.  
  
It does.  
  
It leaks all over his back seats and Bruce groans when he sees the damage. He'll have to either get that cleaned out and have to explain why the _hell_ there's a bunch of blood on his seats or just get rid of the car and get a new one. The kids liked the car but they're not here so he's probably going to have to get another one.  
  
Bruce grabs the duffel and the bagged raw meat and makes his way into the decrepit park. It has spray paint on every surface he sees and there are even splotches of dried blood that he avoids in an attempt to keep his shoes clean.  
  
The man makes his way to where he knows Joker's office is. He pauses to pull his suit's boots on, ditching his shoes outside and clips his gauntlets over his hands and arms. Bruce feels silly and a tad naked with him not wearing his entire suit. He's thankful he brought at least some of it, however, when he opens the door and a large form lunges at him.  
  
Bruce drops the bags and grunts in pain when jaws snap around his covered forearm. He falls to the ground under the squirming force and shakes his arm in a halfhearted attempt to shake the snarling mass off. Bud digs his fangs in harder and Bruce pushes back with another grunt.  
  
Lou makes a noise that's a mix between a growl and a whine before he's tearing at the bag of food. Bug pulls his fangs free and whips around to investigate. Bruce grimaces at the throbbing in his arm but watches them carefully as they tear at the meat. He slowly gets to his feet and makes his way around them carefully. Lou's head snaps up and Bruce freezes. They stare at each other for a moment until the hyena goes back to their meal, the two beginning to fight over a slab.  
  
Bruce glances over to watch them a few times until Lou makes a distressed noise. Bud snorts and licks at his bloodied mouth. It's only a few seconds later Lou stumbles onto his side and Bud scurries over to nose at him. Before the beast can even snarl at Bruce, Bud stumbles on top of Lou's body and doesn't even twitch.  
  
"Oh, thank God," Bruce murmurs, thankful he thought to put the sedatives on the meat. There was a large chance on them smelling it and tearing out Bruce's throat but he was betting on them being too hungry to bother and he was _right_.  
  
He digs out the old collars leashes he'd found from Titus' days at the manor. He clips them around the hyena's necks with little difficulty and loads up the car again. Lifting and carrying them into the car is the real challenge, unfortunately.  
  
They're fucking heavy. Bruce is strong, yes, but Harley must have been feeding them too much or something because he almost tips when he first lifts Bud.  
  
It takes him a while to load them up in the back seat but he heaves a sigh of relief when he can start up the car and swing out of the parking lot. Heading back to his manor is slightly nerve wracking as he has to glance back often to make sure they're still out cold.  
  
He parks as close to the house as he can manage and hurries around the car to pull open the door. Bruce grips Lou with his arms carefully and slides the hyena out of the car. He closes the door with his hip and jolts when his phone rings in his back pocket. Cursing madly, Bruce leans against the car and uses his knee to help balance Lou.  
  
He grabs his phone and keys, biting his keyring between his lips and balancing the phone between his shoulder and ear after answering it.  
  
"H'llo?" he greets, staggering to the door. He flinches when Lou twitches and tries to speed things up. If Lou was waking then Bud would be soon and he wanted them at least in the house before they tried to pull anything.  
  
"Master Bruce," Alfred's voice says. It's soothing to hear the man's voice again but this really isn't the best time, "I was just checking in and letting you know I'll be heading back soon."  
  
Panic rises in Bruce. Alfred would come home to an absolute mess. He'd give him his disappointed look and tell Bruce that this was the "stupidest fucking thing he'd ever heard, Master Bruce".  
  
"Uh, Alfred, really nice to hear from you but I-I think it'd be a good idea for you to stay a little longer. I mean, you haven't seen your family in a long time. And, really, you haven't taken enough vacations!" Bruce scrambles, nearly falling as he removes the keys from between his teeth and hurriedly unlocks the door.  
  
He steps through the doorway as Alfred says, "I...suppose I could but I wouldn't want to leave you to have to take care of the things around the house by yourself. Lord knows you're busy enough."  
  
Bruce smiles. He replies quietly, "I'll be just fine, Alfred. I want you to enjoy your vacation without having to worry about me."  
  
As soon as he speaks he nearly yelps when claws prod as his chest and back. Lou springs away and Bruce stumbles, whipping around. The hyena stumbles in confusion but begins to bolt across the manor.  
  
"Oh _shit_!" he hisses, "I gotta go, Alfred. Something just came up. Love you, see you after vacation. Tell the kids I'm fine, yeah?" Bruce hangs up abruptly and tosses his phone to the side to run after the scampering creature.  
  
Lou glances back and seems to run faster when he sees Bruce. Bruce darts around the corner and hurries after him. A delighted cackling noise echoes and he lunges forward just as Lou was going to go for the window. They both fall in a pile of limbs and snapping jaws but Bruce protects his face with the gauntlet, grimacing when he feels blood welling up underneath it.  
  
Lou makes a rather put out noise and Bruce clambers to his feet, both of their legs unsteady as Bruce guides him into a nearby room. Lou sniffs around the room and Bruce watches Lou immediately lift his leg and piss in the corner.  
  
"I hate you," Bruce mutters, slamming the door shut.  
  
Taking Bud inside is more of a challenge. Since the sedative has already worn off, Bruce almost loses the hyena until he chases Bud down his winding driveway and fights to pull him inside. He gets another throbbing bite to the ankle and now his entire body hurts on top of the injuries from the fight with Karlo.  
  
_Harley better be so damn grateful for this_ , Bruce thinks as he wrestles to get Bud to the room Lou is currently in.  
  


* * *

  
"How was he on the ride over?" Bruce asks as he crosses his arms over his chest. Jim's expression is tensed, eyes hard as he moves to stand next to Bruce.  
  
He murmurs, "Oddly triumphant. What the hell is going on in that messed up mind of his?"  
  
Bruce shakes his head and watches the door swing open. Two guards grip the Joker by the upper arms. Five more armed guards follow, one closing and locking the door. Joker's eyes are glazed over but as soon as they lock on to Bruce he perks up considerably. His lips, pale as they are without his lipstick, stretch into a sharp, excited grin.  
  
He's shoved along but Bruce shudders, eyes boring into the man's back. His cell door opens but Harley knocks on her own door, waving wildly with a grin. Joker beams at her sluggishly before he's pushed into his cell and the door is shut.  
  
Bruce looks over to Jim and the man nods. Jim claps him on the shoulder and Bruce approaches where the Joker eyes him from where he's sprawled on the ground. His eyes are still a bit misty but that doesn't stop the delighted expression from crossing his face.  
  
"You know, I don't like it very much when people insult my toys," Joker rumbles, "I mean nobody would, right? And I found it _very_ offensive when you implied Batsy didn't care about us. I mean, as much as he likes to bat us around it's _obvious_ his bleeding heart _does_ care an awful lot about what happens to us. I'm alive, aren't I?" Joker drawls.  
  
His heart is pounding furiously. Bruce eyes him, unimpressed, and tips his head to the side. "What's your point, Mr. Joker?" he asks, lips thinned in displeasure.  
  
Their eyes lock together again and Joker says quietly, "My _point_ is that you would be laying on the floor with that pretty throat slit right now if you weren't the big, bad bat himself."  
  
The man erupts into laughter and Bruce freezes. How the fuck did he figure it out? Bruce doesn't remember even a single time where he's slipped up enough for the Joker to have been able to connect the dots. Nobody else who knows about his identity would have told him, obviously, or been close enough for him to overhear. So how...?  
  
Bruce clears his throat and laughs softly albeit a little strained. "I don't know what you're implying-" he starts but Joker rolls onto his stomach with an amused grin, head propped up with his fist.  
  
"Drop the act, Brucie. We _both_ know right now that I know. I may be insane," Joker says in amusement, "but I'm not stupid."  
  
He's right, unfortunately. Joker's _smart_ even though he's not quite all there. It's entirely possible that the man has just connected the dots on his own. Bruce is very unnerved because there's no denying it, either. Instead, Bruce studies Joker intensely.  
  
He turns back to where the guards stand and waves his hand slowly. "Open his cell; I need to talk to him!"  
  
There's complete silence for a few seconds until Jim meets his eyes. Bruce nods discreetly and a guard begins to stutter, "Mr-Mr. Wayne I don't think that-"  
  
Jim furrows his brows and shouts, "Do as he asks, Melvin!"  
  
The guard scrambles over to the panel and punches in the code. Then, he presses the unlock button for Joker's cell door. Bruce hears several guns being readied and Bruce slides into the cell. The door closes behind him and Bruce crouches to grip Joker's upper arm.  
  
"Get up," Bruce demands and Joker gets to his feet leisurely. They move to the cot and Bruce sits the man down. Then, he stands over him and raises an eyebrow. "What the hell do you want, Joker? Why did you let yourself be caught?"  
  
Joker giggles and grins up at Bruce. He murmurs, "There's that patented growl I know and love!"  
  
"Joker," Bruce warns, body tensed and Joker rolls his eyes with a sudden scowl.  
  
"You shouldn't be so worried about your identity, y'know," Joker drawls with a smirk, "I'm a trustworthy kinda guy!"  
  
Bruce is horrified at the words. This was who knew his identity? Not Harvey, or Fries, or even fucking Ivy. "I'm still not getting even a hint of what you want, Joker. There's a catch somewhere in here," he says.  
  
Joker shrugs. "Bring me lipstick. They made me wipe it all off. I mean, I look so _boring_ , now," he complains. Bruce gives him a disbelieving look.  
  
"No," he states flatly. Joker pouts up at him and bats his lashes. Bruce can only stare at him incredulously until Joker huffs.  
  
He says, "Alright, fine, if you're so okay with everyone in here knowing you're Bat-"  
  
"I thought you said you were a trustworthy guy?"  
  
"We both know I'm a fucking liar, Brucie. Just bring me something good. None of that low quality shit that cakes on your lips. Y'know what I mean?"  
  
Bruce looks to the ceiling in despair. He's really going to go out and buy Joker high quality lipstick. He's really going to do this.  
  
"I fucking hate you," Bruce says, backing away to knock at the door and leave. Joker only giggles behind him and Bruce resists the urge to turn and punch him in the throat.  
  


* * *

  
Bruce is on his way back, feeling accomplished that he found a color the man would like (he'd had to go through a million different shades until he found something bright and high quality enough for him) when his phone rings.  
  
"What is it, Jim?" Bruce asks as he answers the phone, turning the corner.  
  
Jim says, voice confused, "Joker said you were taking his calls? I was afraid he'd throw a fit if I didn't call you."  
  
Bruce's jaw clenches. "What does he want now?"  
  
"Said something about coffee? I'm... _really_ not sure we can actually authorize this but, I mean, these Arkham patients have different rules," Jim tells him.  
  
Bruce wants to punch something. Specifically Joker. In the fucking _mouth_.  
  
"What does he want?" he asks, resigned.  
  


* * *

A Venti White Mocha with ten sugars and ten pumps of white mocha. Bruce ignores the odd looks he gets as he walks out with it, giving the baristas a large tip and grinning widely at the starstruck customers.  
  
As soon as he's outside, however, he grimaces at the cup under the moon's watch. Getting into his car, Bruce places it in the cup holder and pulls away to head back to Blackgate.  
  
He gets there in a little more than half an hour and while it takes a moment for the guards to check over his bags Bruce is on his way back to the cells soon enough. As soon as he's through the doors, Bruce waves for a guard to open Joker's cell. This time, the guard only quietly opens it with a nervous expression. Guns are pointed to the opening door but Bruce ignores them and points to the Joker with a scowl.  
  
"I'm going to fucking strangle you with my _bare hands_."  
  
Joker, lounging on the bed with a smile, flutters his eyelashes. "Is that a promise?" he purrs, giggling immediately after. Bruce throws the bag of makeup at him and sets the coffee down on the ground near the cot despite Harley's slightly outraged noise of protest. Bruce makes a mental note to bring the others something to keep it fair. After all, the others were much more well behaved than this asshole would be after he was done messing with Bruce.  
  
"Ohh, L’Étoffe du mat? Brucie, baby, you spoil me," Joker says in delight as he uncaps the tube. Bruce shakes his head as he leans against Joker's cell wall.  
  
He murmurs, "You weren't ever going to reveal my identity, were you?" Joker, who is applying the lipstick with broad, even strokes on his lips and beyond, pauses to glance at him with a shrug.  
  
His lips then quirk up into a smile and he chuckles, "That'd be the end of our games, you know? And I do so look forward to dancing with you, Batsy," Joker says almost gently.  
  
Bruce softens just the slightest bit before he says, "I hope you get stabbed."  
  
Joker bursts into wild laughter, head thrown back. Bruce refrains from joining him and instead heads out the cell again. Maybe things with the Joker wouldn't be too bad if he didn't decide he was bored of Blackgate and Bruce, then decide to break out for a night out on the town.  
  
(Bruce knows that'll happen but he's deciding to ignore it for now)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruce: this is going to end horrifically. there will be a massacre. everyone will die. joker is too vicious to be kept in here. even then i must be in control. i have to protect the people in here and joker himself-  
> joker: buy me makeup and coffee bitch  
> bruce, after having buying a whole set of makeup for him and brushes and a grossly sweet coffee: i am going to kill this man immediately
> 
> this was a fun chapter i planned during online school lmao i like writing the joker a lot and he's honestly one of my favorite characters. he's just batshit crazy but also super intelligent and it's such an interesting mix if done right (and i hope i wrote him pretty okay) 
> 
> next chapter we'll finally focus on some other faces (probably fries, eddie, and langstrom and then back to bane and croc for some Character Development!!!)
> 
> as always please kudo and comment if you enjoyed. y'all comments are absolutely hilarious most of the time and i rlly enjoy them


	6. Robert Langstrom, Victor Fries & Lazlo Valentin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A favor for Fries ends up being a little more complicated than Bruce thought it would be. And painful. He manages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there!
> 
> first can i just say holy shit???? this fic has surpassed my first in kudos already (a while ago but i barely noticed???) so let me just say THANK YOU!! you guys are so fucking awesome and your comments absolutely make my days even when they're really bad. im so glad you guys are enjoying this story as much as i am so thank you for the support i love u guys!!
> 
> two, this chapter might be one of my favorites tbh it's slightly longer because i most likely won't be updating next week since i have the whole off from school and have a bunch of personal and school stuff that need to be taken care of (cuz ik my teachers are going to pile on a ton of work). rn im in the works of major planning for my own book i hope to be published (research and serious planning stages), this fic, side fics, and i also have a fic i hope others will enjoy in the works. it'll be super fun and very gory with a side of romance and friendship!!
> 
> if anyone wants to hear a little bit about it pls say so in the comments bc i'll still be answering comments over break! if u have any questions about this fic or my next fic please ask i am very lonely :,)

Bruce goes home at nearly five in the morning. He checks in on Bud and Lou, darting around them while they nip at his ankles and shoes as he attempts to clean things up. He takes them out to the backyard and keeps an eye on them while they run around each other. Bruce has to chase after them, muscles aching tiredly, when Bud bolts away and seemingly tries to escape. Lou merely watches with clear amusement as Bruce drags the snarling mass back inside. He despairs when they throw themselves into the pool and makes a note to have it cleaned but otherwise it's rather calm. They don't even try to bite him when he towels them off. He gives them extra meat for that.  
  
After that, Bruce passes out on the couch. He sleeps until one in the afternoon and wakes up still exhausted and achy. Regardless, Bruce gets to his feet and nearly topples down the stairs when Lou races around him. Bruce allows the hyena to cackle and chase him around the kitchen until he makes himself a late lunch.  
  
He takes the day to run errands, having someone deliver the boxes of meat to his doorstep instead of bothering to go back and dirty his cars again. He visits the office and gets some paperwork out of the way. The two most eventful parts of that day is a sweet text from Selina stating that she'd like to go out for dinner again and Bud finally being able to behave while Bruce takes him out.  
  
(That doesn't last long but it's progress!)  
  
He patrols that night for an extra few hours, feeling guilty for having been away for so long. He stops a couple of robberies, almost gets tased by a furious woman he accidentally scares, then escorts her home from the rooftops. She thanks him and Bruce ends his rather uneventful night with a much more refreshing sleep than before.  
  
This time, he heads out to Blackgate around noon after spending a few hours at Wayne Enterprises for a meeting. Ivy is already being led out with Bullock watching her carefully. Harley is singing at the top of her lungs as she, too, is brought out of her cell for a trip outside.  
  
"Remember, Dr. Quinn, behave," Bruce warns. Harley waves her hand with a grin.  
  
"I'm not gonna risk losin' time with Pammie!"  
  
Ivy sends the woman a soft look. She reaches to bring her girlfriend closer and Harley looks delighted, smiling up at the woman. Bullock rolls his eyes but merely guides them out, grumbling all the while.  
  
Bruce shakes his head and makes his way to where Langstrom is attempting to pace. He ignores Joker's singing as he applies more of his new supply of makeup and instead, Bruce knocks on the door of Langstrom's cell.  
  
The man pauses and looks to him. "Mr. Wayne," he greets. Bruce smiles at the pleasant tone and nods, hands clasped in front of him neatly.  
  
"Dr. Langstrom. I was wondering if you were interested in stretching out a bit. Fly around outside, perhaps, every day until we get you back to normal," Bruce offers quietly. Langstrom's shoulders slump with relief.  
  
"That would be wonderful, Mr. Wayne," he says, clearly relieved. Bruce nods and waves to a nearby guard. They take the hint and begin to enter the code to the access panel.  
  
Bruce murmurs, "Of course, this has the same conditions as Dr. Isley and Dr. Quinn. If you fly off, Dr. Langstrom, we'll bring you back and instead simply move you to a bigger cell. I'd like to think this is the better option of the two."  
  
There's the loud buzzing that indicates Langstrom's cell door is opening. "Don't you worry about that. I want to be better, Mr. Wayne. I just...can't fully control this sometimes. Today's a good day..." Langstrom says quietly.  
  
Bruce backs away to let the man walk out and they move together. Bruce brushes off the guards that attempt to go with them. They're likely getting frustrated with him but Bruce can't really find it in himself to care. He can take care of himself and he trusts Langstrom will stay.  
  
The man seems earnest about wanting the help. Bruce leads him through the halls, ignoring the shouting inmates. Bruce holds the door as they step into the courtyard where Ivy is cuddling up to Harley. She has a flower in her hands that she allows to bloom underneath her fingers. Harley claps in awe despite the fact that she's seen it happen a million times, most likely.  
  
Langstrom looks to Bruce and Bruce nods. The man lifts off and is soon soaring up above them, wings flapping and body twirling through the air. Bruce can't help but smile at the man's enthusiastic whoop, his body suddenly diving back toward the ground.  
  
Ivy gives the man an irritated look for a few seconds but even she smiles the slightest bit as he shrieks in sheer joy. Bruce definitely made the right call and he makes another mental note to tell Gordon to have this happen every day until they found the right cure for the man's new condition. He also makes a note to check in on Bane and Waylon soon.  
  
Bruce shields his eyes as the man rushes down from the sky, wind whipping around them. Bruce blinks a few times, then softens at the beaming man. "Will I get time out at Arkham, too?" Langstrom asks.  
  
Bruce crosses his arms over his chest and nods. He says, "Things are going to be very different, Dr. Langstrom. You all will be getting time outside, even Bane if he can behave, for longer than before. Your psychiatrists can even opt to have your sessions outside if they think you can handle it."  
  
Langstrom searches his face for sincerity and seemingly finds it when he nods in satisfaction. He tells Bruce in a low, almost sad voice, "I just want to be home with my kids, with my wife. I'm so tired of being locked up, Mr. Wayne."  
  
Bruce bobs his head in understanding. "I know, Dr. Langstrom. I'll be sure to help you in any way I can."  
  
Langstrom nods and he's off in the air again, body twisting and looping in the air. Bullock is arguing with Ivy but it seems to be more lighthearted than anything else so Bruce leaves it alone to head inside, Harley's amused laughter echoing behind him.  
  
He makes his way down the halls again and ducks back into the rooms. Joker has since passed out, Karlo and Nygma as well. Bruce is slightly concerned at how loud the three of them are as they snore the afternoon away. Harvey looks tortured as he meets Bruce's eyes from where he's reading and it makes the man's lips quirk up.  
  
Finally, Bruce stops in front of Fries' cell, which is separated a bit away from the others. The man, looking down at his lap wordlessly, looks up at Bruce's knock.  
  
There's an unsettling, blank look on his face. His eyes are dull and Bruce frowns. The place is cold. There's even ice around the cell and on the ceiling, crawling across it almost beautifully. They'd used one of Fries' own weapons to keep it cold since the arrangement wasn't permanent. Every day, they checked the temperatures to make sure things were correct and it looked like things were fine.  
  
So what....?  
  
"Dr. Fries," Bruce greets. The man's shoulders hunch but he meets Bruce's eyes, "Is there something wrong?"  
  
Fries stands and makes his way toward the door. Bruce is slightly unnerved by the sudden spark of something but Bruce stays where he is.  
  
Fries says, voice carefully controlled, "You're dedicated to helping us, Mr. Wayne? Truly and completely?" he asks. His voice has a more skeptical tone but Bruce nods.  
  
"I am, Dr. Fries. Is there something you need?"  
  
Fries nods slowly. "As you may know, Mr. Wayne, my wife is my entire world. I've been dedicating my time and resources to finding a cure to the disease that keeps threatening to take her life. I've been unsuccessful so far but I will admit I have made progress," he says.  
  
Bruce's eyes light up a bit. He tells Fries, "That's wonderful news. Was it lab access you wanted? I can probably get that for you-" he starts but Fries holds up his hand. Bruce falls quiet and tips his head in confusion.  
  
Fries smiles blandly. "While that sounds like an opportunity I'd like to take you up on in the future that's not what I was going to ask for quite yet," he says. Bruce nods slowly.  
  
"Go on, Dr. Fries."  
  
"I need you to keep Nora safe, Mr. Wayne."  
  
Bruce furrows his brows. He says slowly, "I can do that. Just let me know where she is and I can have her moved to somewhere secure."  
  
Fries gives him a bitter smile and tells him, voice thick with regret and anxiety, "My darling Nora may be in danger, Mr. Wayne. I had to-I had to leave her with Valentin."  
  
Bruce's jaw drops. "You left your wife with Lazlo Valentin?!" he hisses, eyes wide. It's the first time in a while he's well and truly stunned. Fries shuts his eyes in guilt and nods.  
  
"I had no one else to turn to! Dr. Crane wasn't available, had gone underground after The Bat caught on to one of his plans. Hugo Strange was out of town and the last time we worked together things went wrong, so he would've been reluctant. I just...who else did I have?"  
  
Bruce makes a sympathetic noise. "Okay, okay, this is fine. You know for sure Nora is with him?"  
  
Fries nods quickly and Bruce curses quietly.  
  
Fighting Professor Pyg was always unpredictable. The man was on par with the Joker's levels of disconnection from reality. Even though Valentin was more predictable than the Joker could be, Bruce had the advantage of knowing the Joker well enough to get at least a vague idea of what he was planning. Valentin? Less so.  
  
"Okay. I'll get your wife from Valentin."  
  
Fries looks relieved at the words. "I...thank you, Mr. Wayne," he says a little awkwardly.  
  
Bruce nods and begins to head off with one question swirling around his mind.  
  
How the hell was he going to pull this off?  
  
It doesn't take long, however, for Bruce to throw together something that resembles a plan. This was obviously a job for Batman to take care of. With Valentin most likely in Blüdhaven, Bruce packs a bag for the night. He takes a few changes of clothes and packs his suit in another bag. Then, he grabs his wallet, phone, keys, and is leaving.  
  
He calls Montoya and gets her to agree (very reluctantly) to watch Bud and Lou for him. She seemed both excited to work with them and terrified she'd get her throat torn out. Bruce sympathizes and waits long enough to get them introduced.  
  
Bruce is a little offended they take to her immediately, all happy cackles and excited whines.  
  
He tells her to enjoy the stay and heads out of town as quickly as he can manage, the afternoon sun shining down on him.  
  


* * *

  
It takes him close to five hours to make it down to Blüdhaven. He doesn't bother to stop and books a hotel, paying extra for them to keep it quiet that he's in town. The starstruck woman at the front desk nods enthusiastically.  
  
He showers and changes out of his clothes, then heads straight out the doors to see if he can make it to the police station. Bruce is hoping he can use some of his influence to get a few files on Valentin and maybe find out where the hell he'd be. Fries hadn't even known himself where the man would be now.  
  
He pushes open the doors and shoots the receptionist a dazzling smile. The man eyes him with interest and asks, "Can we help you, Mr. Wayne?"  
  
Bruce smiles apologetically. "I'm looking in on some files, here, for Jim Gordon? You may have heard but we're working with sensitive things with Arkham Asylum back in Gotham. I was just hoping to cross reference a few files, since some of our patients there have resided in this city for a while," Bruce spins easily, voice quiet in the chattering building.  
  
The man nods. "Yeah, yeah. Let me just get someone that can open the archives. That's not really in my, you know, paygrade," the man replies. Bruce nods.  
  
"Thank you so much."  
  
Bruce waits for a few moments but soon enough he sees a familiar face next to a rather stern looking woman.  
  
Fuck.  
  
Dick squints in confusion. "Dad? What are you doing here?" he asks, wrapping an arm around Bruce. The dark haired woman's eyes dart between the two of them, her lips parting in surprise.  
  
Bruce pulls away to say, "I'm...here retrieving something for Commissioner Gordon. He needed a file after an...Arkham patient was admitted. We, ah, need to double check things, you know?"  
  
What was he supposed to say?  
  
_Oh, yeah, I'm just here to beat the shit out of Professor Pyg to get Fries' wife._  
  
Actually, Dick might be understanding about that. It was everything else that he'd work to put a quick stop to.  
  
"Commissioner Gordon's sending you? Is he okay?" Dick asks worriedly. Bruce squeezes his arm reassuringly.  
  
"Jim is absolutely fine. He's just insanely busy and he sent me instead."  
  
The woman clears her throat and Dick jerks, looking to her with a sheepish smile. "Ah, Bruce, this is my partner Sargent Amy Rohrbach. Amy, this is my...dad. Bruce Wayne."  
  
Bruce holds back his smirk and instead holds out his hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Sargent. I've heard a lot of good things about your work from Dick and the GCPD," Bruce says smoothly. Sargent Rohrbach shakes his hand with a sly smile.  
  
"Very nice to meet you, Mr. Wayne. I must say this is a surprise. Rookie here didn't say he was the son of billionaire Bruce Wayne, you know."  
  
Bruce can't help his smirk this time at Dick's embarrassed expression. "All these years I've stuck through his antics and phases and he can't even bother to mention me once. Can you believe he's still ashamed he's-"  
  
Dick groans as they begin down the hallway. "Shut up, Bruce! This is why; you do this! You either seduce my friends or embarrass me!" he complains. Despite his tone he does seem amused.  
  
Bruce points at him mock sternly. "I do not. Do you hear this? I should sue this kid for these _slanderous accusations_ -"  
  
"Oh my God, Bruce, please-"  
  
Sargent Rohrbach bursts into laughter as she begins to unlock the archive door with the key attached to her belt. "You should come around more often, Mr. Wayne. This kid embarrasses himself daily like you would not believe," she tells him, flipping on the lights.  
  
Bruce chuckles and is able to ruffle Dick's hair before the man can retaliate. He ducks into the room and glances around.  
  
"I'll leave you to it, yes? Don't forget to punch out before you leave, Rookie. Again, pleasure to meet you, Mr. Wayne," she says. Bruce waves to the woman, assuming she's going off her shift, and waits until she shuts the door after a brief conversation with Dick.  
  
He hunts through the sections to find the V's. He finds himself hurriedly shuffling through the files. For a more uncommon letter there sure are a lot of names, Bruce notices. He finally finds it and flips it open, fingers paging through it.  
  
It seems like the last time Valentin was caught he was only brought in for a few moments before he slaughtered the entire team of police with a hidden knife they hadn't found. When they tried to take off the mask he'd snapped and taken them all out.  
  
"Jesus," Bruce whispers, skimming it over quickly. They'd arrested him around the outskirts of the city. It had been pure luck they'd found him in the middle of grabbing another victim. They'd been able to save the man but he'd been severely traumatized. Bruce predicts he's still in therapy.  
  
It looks like he'd be driving there tonight to check it out.  
  
Footsteps, almost unnoticeable, approach and Bruce quickly flips the file closed and pushes it back into the bin. He pushes the bin back into place and turns to Dick with a smile.  
  
"How are you doing up here?" he asks. Dick eyes the area but he seems to shake it off and smiles back.  
  
Dick says, "Pretty good, actually. Place is corrupt as hell but, I mean, so was Gotham. It's getting better, too. I think," he pauses and shrugs, "I think I'm really making a difference here."  
  
Bruce can't help but feel proud. "I'm glad. I really am, Dick."  
  
Dick crosses his arms with a smile and looks to the ground, boot scuffing the floor. "So...are you...mad at us?" he asks. Bruce furrows his brows in confusion.  
  
"Why would I be mad?"  
  
Dick shrugs and murmurs, "'cause we all just left you. I mean, I know you can be on your own and everything but I just...I'm sorry about that. It was kind of shitty of us to all just leave at the same time."  
  
Bruce shakes his head. "Of course I'm not mad, Dick. You're not obligated to stay in Gotham because of me. None of you are."  
  
Dick gives him a shy smile before his face brightens. "Nobody else is at the manor, right?"  
  
_Does he know what I've been up to?_  
  
Bruce gives a slightly nervous laugh. "No, not right now."  
  
"Then let's fix that! I've been planning on heading home for the weekend and I thought you and I could spend it together since nobody else is home. And we haven't gotten to talk in a while. And I...miss you," Dick says awkwardly.  
  
It breaks Bruce's heart to have to tell him no. He really, really doesn't want to because it has been a while since he's seen his kids. He wishes things weren't so busy right now.  
  
"I'm sorry, Dick, but I'm going to be busy all month. Things back home are...a bit hectic right now. I won't be available for a while."  
  
Dick's face falls and Bruce immediately feels guilty as all hell. "Oh...I mean, what about next month?" he asks.  
  
Bruce debates it over in his head. If he can get things cleaned up and hush the media by then it'd all work out. Nothing could get around until he was sure things would work out and he could win the resulting arguments. Bruce nods at Dick.  
  
"Next month, then. I'll make sure to clear up my schedule."  
  
Dick's face brightens and he bounces a little as they begin to walk out the room. "Alright! Hey, why don't I invite the others, too? I'm sure Jon and Dami would love to come back for a visit. And Jay-bird would come so long as Alfred cooks. Tim...can be dragged away from his work for a bit. Cass would come in a heartbeat. This is a great idea! I'll call them later," Dick babbles.  
  
Bruce suddenly isn't too sure about this. He says, "I don't know when Alfred will be back, yet. I told him to take some more time off the day before yesterday. I thought he might want to relax a little longer," Bruce informs him while they walk down the hallways.  
  
Dick slumps a little. "Well, let me know, okay?"  
  
Bruce nods, still feeling insanely guilty. He keeps telling himself he'd clean things up and let them all know about his project soon. Just...later.  
  
Bruce lets Dick walk him to his car. "You be careful driving back, okay? Call me when you get home," Dick frets. Bruce laughs and pulls Dick in to press a fond kiss to his forehead.  
  
"Don't worry about me, Dick. You get back in there and do your job, yeah?" he tells him. Dick salutes playfully and Bruce slides into the car. He buckles his seatbelt and pulls out of the parking lot. He's damn thankful Dick didn't ask why he didn't walk out of the station with the files he came for.  
  


* * *

  
Bruce is suited up as he lurks the rooftop of a warehouse. It was rather easy to find out where Valentin is. Bruce has his car parked nearby and he's now watching from above. Two Dollotrons stand below, guns in hand. Bruce slides two Batarangs out of his belt.  
  
He hits both and presses his ear piece. After a few moments, Jim answers with, "Thank God. Where the hell are you?"  
  
Bruce snorts and leaps over the side of the building, landing neatly on the ground. He takes his Batarangs back and keeps them in hand as he peers into the warehouse. "I'm in Blüdhaven, Jim. Fries wants his wife back because he left her under the watch of Valentin but ended up getting caught before he could move her. I'm in the middle of getting her back," Bruce reports quietly, scanning the inside of the room. There's Dollotrons all around the room but no sign of anyone else. In fact, it looks suspiciously empty.  
  
There _must_ be more to this.  
  
"Bludha-Bruce! I've got Dent and Ngyma wondering where the hell you are," Jim hisses.  
  
Bruce kicks open the door and immediately throws the two Batarangs. They hit their targets, the two henchmen collapsing immediately. Bruce grapples with another, the masked victim doing their best to strangle him. Bruce grabs them by their hair and slams their head into the nearby wall. Their body falls and Bruce winces at the noise.  
  
They'd be fine.  
  
"Sorry about that; put them on, would you? I'll talk to them now," Bruce says.  
  
Two more run at him with slightly jerky movements. Bruce takes one down with a swift kick that ragdolls their body and has to block a painful punch. He parries with his own arm and knocks them out with a quick punch to the head.  
  
"Wayne! Just the man I was looking to talk to. I'll admit I'm a little disappointed you're not here in person," Nygma chirps.  
  
Bruce clears his throat and glances around the room. "I was thinking the same thing, Mr. Nygma. Selina wanted me to deliver a message for you," Bruce says as he presses a few buttons on his arm. His scanner is aimed at the wall and he makes an intrigued noise when he gets the report back. "Selina says that she wants you to stop fucking with your psychologists and work on getting out of prison for good," Bruce reports, looking over the report.  
  
There was more to the building than it seems. He stalks to the bodies of the Dollotrons to retrieve his Batarangs. "And why would I do that? Why would I take advice from a random-" he starts but Bruce rolls his eyes.  
  
"I know that Selina is Catwoman, it's fine. She knows I know. She told me to tell you that you need to start taking this seriously. She told me Oswald's in full support of this and wants his boyfrie-"  
  
One Dollotron suddenly catches him by surprise. These foes don't hold back, Bruce notices as it hooks its arms around his throat. Bruce grunts and throws back an elbow. It hits the Dollotron in the face and Bruce whips around to slam his fist into their head. They crumple to the ground and Bruce shakes out his hand.  
  
Bruce murmurs, "My apologies. Oswald's in full support of this plan and wants you to stay out of jail for more than two months. You want my opinion, Nygma?"  
  
The man makes a frustrated noise over the phone. "Sure, fine. I don't get why I shouldn't be able to have a little bit of fun with those phonies," the man bites out.  
  
Bruce pulls his Batarangs from their limbs and keeps one out. He says, "I think Oswald is planning to propose and wants to have his boyfriend out of prison for more than just the ceremony and honeymoon."  
  
Nygma is quiet as Bruce slams his Batarang into the wall. Sparks fly and Bruce covers his face. He drags it down and pulls at the sides of the gap he makes. He slices a few wires and looks to the left as a part of the wall stutters open.  
  
"I'll think about it," Nygma says quietly. Bruce startles and peers into the new pathway.  
  
"That's all I ask, Nygma. Thank you," Bruce responds as he presses another button on his suit to allow himself to see in the dark through his mask's lenses.  
  
There's a blood trail that leads down the stairs. Bruce begins his trek down the stairs as the phone is seemingly handed to someone else for a moment. His boots clunk against the stairs and Bruce glances around.  
  
He hears the distant buzz of the doors opening over his ear piece. Bruce reaches the end of the stairs and is immediately attacked before he can take in much of the lab. He grunts when he's slammed into the nearby wall and kicks out, boot connecting with a Dollotron's knee. It buckles and Bruce slams his Batarang into their shoulder, taking the time to lunge at the Dollotron behind the first.  
  
He manages to tangle his fingers into their hand and bring his knee up to smash his armor clad knee into its face. It collapses and Bruce whips around in time to swing his leg up. The first one catches it and Bruce pushes himself up, body twisting in the air to connect his other foot with the Dollotron's head. He lands neatly and watches it slump against the wall.  
  
"Brucie?" Harvey's voice sounds over the phone and Bruce nearly trips over his feet in surprise.  
  
"Harve-Harvey! Jim told me you were looking to talk with me?" Bruce says as he looks around the room finally.  
  
It's still awfully dim but not as dark as the stairway was. There are a few metal tables across the table, some stained with dried blood. Bruce is standing next to crates that seem to be nailed shut.  
  
Harvey says, "Yeah, I...wanted to tell you I thought about your offer and I wanted to take you up on it. I trust you to find me a good psychiatrist," Harvey says quietly. Bruce brightens even as he pries one crate open he finds it filled with a few body parts.  
  
"That's great, Harve! If you don't mind me asking," Bruce starts, replacing the top to the crate, "what made you change your mind?"  
  
Harvey is quiet for a few seconds so he takes the time to dart down the hallway. He takes the stairs again and stumbles into a lab. The walls are grey and the paint is peeling. There are knocked over mixtures of chemicals on a few of the white tables while others hold body parts and masks. Legs, arms, even heads. In the center of the room is Valentin himself standing over a body that is laying limply on a metal operation table. Three Dollotrons are immediately on their feet.  
  
_Oh shit!_  
  
"Well...I think it was you, Brucie. You're over here trying your best to help me out so...why wouldn't I want to work with you? You're tryin' to give me more opportunities. I appreciate that and I...wanna do my best for you," Harvey says roughly.  
  
Bruce is quick to draw three Batarangs, face warming at the words. "That's sweet, Harve. I'm glad you're open to this idea," Bruce says as he hits each of them in the leg. Valentin's head snaps up and a scowl forms on his lips where the mask shows his mouth.  
  
"Would you come visit me when you come back?" Harvey requests. Bruce lashes out with his foot to knock a Dollotron to the ground.  
  
Bruce says, "Yeah, for sur-"  
  
"I'm going to make you beautiful just like Pyg!" Valentin shouts. Bruce curses when the man is vaulting over the table with a _chainsaw_ in hand. It growls wildly when he turns it on and Bruce leaps back when Valentin swings at Bruce madly.  
  
"Brucie? Brucie what is that?" Harvey asks but Bruce delays answering as he throws two more Batarangs. One slices the man's leg and the other clips the man's wrist as he swings down with the chainsaw.  
  
Bruce slams his hands on either side of the blades of the chainsaw and grunts as he holds it away from his face. Valentin jerks it down and Bruce leaps away when it slices at his suit. Valentin lets out a frustrated snort and swings the chainsaw again.  
  
"Hey, Harvey, I'm gonna have to call you back. We'll talk when I get back!" Bruce says and shuts off his ear piece. Then, he throws himself back at the man.  
  
Valentin is fast, Bruce learns. Although his swings are wild and uncontrolled he lands hits on Bruce's suit because of said speed. Make no mistake, however, Bruce does hold his own against the man, fists smashing and his Batarangs slicing the man's skin.  
  
Bruce is pushed back against the metal table. The chainsaw hits his suit this time, the blades cutting into something in his suit. It sparks and Bruce's body jolts in pain from both the shock his suit gives him and the blade slicing into his right shoulder viciously. Before Valentin can take his head or limbs off with the chainsaw, however, Bruce grabs his grappling gun in a desperation plan. He shoots the man's legs and Valentin squeals as he's tipping. His chainsaw drops from his hands and Bruce scitters back against the table when it almost hits his foot.  
  
He kicks it aside carefully and ties the man up despite his shrieking. "Why won't you let Pyg make you beautiful! Why won't you let Pyg make you perfect!"  
  
Bruce walks past the man and throws a Batarang back absentmindedly at the chainsaw. It sparks, then falls silent. He rushes to the door in front of him and begins to pull off his chest armor and cowl, face feeling as if it's on fire while his suit sends small jolts of electricity. His chest feels numb and his shoulder throbs, skin slick with blood.  
  
Bruce flies down the stairs to search for the woman. He has no idea where the hell she could be but he knows Valentin would never tell him. Would never give him a straight fucking answer.  
  
He ends up in what looks like an actual warehouse. There are more crates and boxes strewn about. Bruce grimaces as he looks into a few. There's surgical supplies in a few and Bruce drops his suit pieces to examine a few. They look new and rather high quality, actually. He's surprised.  
  
Bruce investigates and he finally spots, buried under crates and boxes, Nora Fries' sleeping form. She looks delicate, blonde hair splayed out in the chamber she's laid in for years. Her skin is unbelievably pale and Bruce looks around the room.  
  
He's found her. Now how the hell does he get her out?  
  
Bruce leaves her container behind for a moment to attempt to scan the room. Although it takes a few tries, Bruce manages to get his scanner to work. He lets out a relieved sigh when he reads the cracked report on his screen and sees that, just like the hidden door on the first floor, there's an elevator. He hopes it's big enough for Nora's chamber.  
  
He walks back around and wheels her over as gently as he can manage to where the elevator is located. Then, he slides his hands over the wall to figure out where the hell the access panel is.  
  
His fingers dig into a thin line and Bruce takes out a Batarang to carefully unscrew the tiny screws he finds. The panel falls away to reveal a turnable key. Bruce twists it and he hears the humming of the elevator. Bruce slumps in relief again when the doors slide open smoothly. The man tugs Nora's chamber into the small space and presses what he assumes is the top floor.  
  
A hand slams against the doorway and a furious Valentin blocks the way. "Let Pyg make you perfect! The imperfections must be destroyed!" the man nearly screams. Bruce slams his hand down on the top floor button again before bracing his hands against the silver bar on the back of the elevator. As Valentin launches himself forward, cleaver in hand, Bruce leans his weight back and lifts his legs off the ground. Then, he kicks out as hard as he can manage and watches the man fly out of the elevator.  
  
Bruce throws himself from the safety of it, praying Nora will be able to get out of the way of any possible attacks. He dodges the sharp swings of the cleaver and dances around the room with the man, hissing in pain when it grazes his arm.  
  
Valentin is furious when Bruce manages to strike with his leg and kick the cleaver from the man's hands. Instead of giving in like Bruce wishes he would, Valentin throws himself at Bruce and they tumble down into the crates and boxes around them. Bruce barely registers the soft sound of closing elevator doors.  
  
Bruce and Valentin wrestle for control, Bruce snarling in pain when his shoulder wound is aggravated. He barely feels anything else but the steadily bleeding injury which is how Valentin gets the upper hand. The man places his large hands over Bruce's and squeezes, fingers digging into his throat.  
  
"You're going to be Pyg's masterpiece, aren't you? Yes, you'll be so beautiful," Valentin whispers almost adoringly. Bruce flails his uninjured arm back and searches for something to help get the man off while the other hand stops Valentin from snapping his neck in his fit of rage. He manages to reach something cold and he wraps his fingers around it, recognizing vaguely what it is.  
  
Scissors.  
  
He swings them around and stabs Valentin straight in the neck. The man makes an odd gurgling sound and Bruce kicks the man away when his grip on his neck loosens enough. Bruce takes in a desperate, shuddering breath. His body hurts like hell and he lays there for a moment to stare at the ceiling while he tries to catch his breath.  
  
He gets up after a moment, body throbbing and staggering as he begins to clean up. He collects his armor pieces. He bends over to grab Valentin by the ankles and drags him over to the elevator, twisting the key and waiting until it arrives again, Nora's chamber still there.  
  
Bruce stops at every floor to load up the elevator with unconscious bodies. He doesn't bother putting his mask and cowl back on. Instead, he takes the time to drag the bodies out of the building in silence. He takes the most care with Nora, wheeling her out the doors carefully. Then, he collects his Batarangs from the bodies and slides them into his belt.  
  
Once every body is accounted for and he's hunted through the warehouse thoroughly, Bruce loads Nora into his car. He's thankful he was smart enough to pick a car with a lot of trunk space. He cushions it around with his bags and the broken armor pieces.  
  
He makes sure to take the time to wrap his wounds just to keep his new change of clothes he switches into clean.  
  
Bruce searches through his bags until he finds a pack of matches. He pulls gasoline from his trunk and sets to work, meticulously going through the area once more to douse each room in gasoline.  
  
Bruce sets the building on fire and tugs the scissors from Valentin's throat wordlessly. The man will either be saved in the hospital or die on the way. Bruce doesn't know which he'd prefer. After all, Bruce's identity is still safe either way.  
  
Nobody would believe it if Valentin told everyone he was Batman. Bruce isn't even sure the man knows who the hell he was. That's how disconnected he was to reality. He doesn't feel triumphant about it at all, though.  
  
Instead, Bruce feels numb for the first time in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruce, dragging bodies out of the building: and remember; no one will ever be able to hate you more than u already hate yourself-
> 
> it accidentally turned a little bit angsty at the end but bruce will be fine soon dw. i honestly dont know what happened yall every time i make a fun fic i start makin it serious i have to stop that
> 
> professor pyg actually wasnt planned! this chapter was supposed to go WAY differently. bruce wasn't even supposed to go to bludhaven or even find nora this way. she was legit just supposed to be in one of fries' hide outs and bruce would just go get her but i was reading up on pyg and i just had to. like hes SUCH a fucking interesting character to me so i read up on him a little and threw him straight into this story. 
> 
> dick also wasn't supposed to be here! he wasn't supposed to even talk to bruce until later but i love him sm and it was an opportunity i couldn't pass up when i knew bruce was going to bludhaven.
> 
> i also scrapped two ideas with this chapter. one was a scene with the elevator breaking down and bruce having to get nora and himself out alive before the cable snaps. pyg would have ended up falling down the elevator shaft thingy and dying. orignal? not at all! fun? fuck yeah!! the other version/idea of this chapter also had bruce captured and tortured a little only for slade to pop in and save his himbo ass by chance and bruce catching a ride with him. obviously i changed that up because i rlly didnt like the idea and switched it up. deathstroke will not be showing up in this unfortunately but maybe in a future fic.
> 
> lastly, i hope you enjoyed this update and please have a great day!! i'll see u guys later!!


	7. Multi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bruce gets visitors and takes a big step in improving his relationship with Harvey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellllllo!!!
> 
> i couldn't really resist tossing out this chapter. i'm a little unsatisfied with how it came out and i hope that didn't translate in the writing :( 
> 
> i'm also AMAZED u guys. Over 100 kudos??? holy shit??? thank you all so much and im glad you're enjoying this fic as much as i enjoy writing it!! thank you everyone <3333
> 
> in other news; u can follow me on twitter and instagram. im gonna put them in my profile so if ur interested u can. i don't rlly do much but its a quick way to contact me if u have questions about anything or just wanna talk tbh

Bruce calls Dick to let him know he's finally home as he pulls up to the manor. His entire body aches and his vision is beginning to get a little fuzzy around the edges but he refuses to let himself rest until he gets everything taken care of.  
  
With the car idling, Bruce opens the trunk and maneuvers Nora's chamber out of his trunk carefully, jaw tensing and teeth clenching with the strain it brings to his injured shoulder. Once the wheels are on the ground, Bruce sucks in a relieved breath through his teeth and wheels her to the front door.  
  
Unlocking it and disabling the security system, Bruce manages to get Nora into the manor's front doors. He briefly leaves to park the car and makes a small reminder to pick up the pieces of his suit from the car later. And burn those bloodied clothes, too. Bruce jogs back inside and shuts the door.  
  
The house is silent and Bruce slumps in relief. Montoya must have gone home after Lou and Bud were taken care of. He wasn't expecting to come home in this sort of condition, so he's relieved she left regardless. If Bruce looks hard enough he's sure he'll find a note in her familiar scrawl explaining how the evening went.  
  
Bruce ends up bringing Nora's body down to the Batcave, hooking up her container to keep it cold. He makes it just in time when he realizes she spent too much time away from something to keep her cool, her body thawing slowly. Bruce, as much as he wants to sleep, double checks the numbers and makes sure nothing will become unhooked by itself. Once he's satisfied, Bruce heads back upstairs to check in on Bud and Lou quietly.  
  
They're asleep in the middle of the room. There's the smell of bloody meat and he spots the remnants on a plate and two bowls of water nearby. He assumes Montoya took them outside as well and reminds himself to thank the woman personally when he can. He absolutely owed her big time, Bruce thinks when he sees the way the hyenas barely twitch as he closes the door again.  
  
Bruce finally heads into the nearest bathroom to properly clean his wounds. He can't help but snarl in pain while he drenches his wounded shoulder in alcohol. It burns like hell and Bruce has to hold himself back from smashing something to cope.  
  
(And isn't it always like that? Bruce trying his best to cope and it's never good enough to stop the feeling of _wrong-_ )  
  
Bruce spills another splash of alcohol on his shoulder and welcomes the flare of pain this time. At least his thoughts are fucking _quiet_ this time.  
  
He finishes cleaning every cut and gash on his body before he wraps them. His shoulder stitches nearly take him out, vision swimming dangerously and he has to take a short break to blink away the spots. The man finishes the stitches as quickly as he dares before he's dabbing it with ointment and wrapping it in bandages.  
  
Bruce digs out cold leftovers and allows himself a shot of whiskey to help himself sleep. Then, he heads to bed, where he dreams of buzzing chainsaws, the firing of a gun, and claws sinking straight into his throat.  
  
(Bruce wakes up later with a sob in his throat. It takes ages for him to go back to sleep, feeling rattled to the core.)  
  


* * *

  
Bruce tells Jim he won't be in for the next few days. The man offers to come over and assist him but Bruce deflects it. He'd pushed himself too hard on patrol and needed to take a few days off to let his shoulder wound heal properly or it'd just keep reopening.  
  
"We both know you're too busy. I appreciate the offer though," Bruce told him as he pulled at the slab of meat with his good arm. Bud had snarled and ripped off a chunk, shaking his head and snapping it up playfully. Bruce was alarmed to feel proud when Bud merely butted his shins before prancing off to immediately tackle a napping Lou.  
  
Jim had sighed in frustration but agreed.  
  
Now, Bruce wakes in bed with his arm still throbbing like hell. He feels eyes on him and is sitting up in seconds, eyes wide when he takes in a familiar face.  
  
"Selina?" he asks, voice still thick with sleep. The woman smiles and leans down to press a gentle kiss to his lips while she passes him a mug of coffee.  
  
She murmurs, "The one and only."  
  
Bruce's heart pounds in his chest as he watches her dumbly. "What are-what are you doing here?" he stammers as she sits next to him.  
  
Selina shrugs and her gaze drops down to the mug in his hands. Bruce obediently takes a few sips and moans in appreciation at the taste. "I heard you were injured from Jim. I hadn't heard from you in a few days and the Bat was seen to be making quicker rounds. I thought I'd drop in," she says softly. Despite the sweet tone of voice her eyes are dark as she watches Bruce take another sip of his coffee.  
  
"Thank you, Selina. That...means a lot."  
  
Selina shrugs and leans forward with a mischievous smirk. Bruce tips his head and they kiss again. She tastes like coffee and cinnamon, and Bruce nearly spills his drink all over his sheets as he leans forward into the kiss. Selina takes the cup from his hands and places it on the nightstand, not bothering to pull away from him.  
  
Just as Bruce lays back, the woman straddling him to lean down and kiss at the skin of his throat, there's a crash downstairs. Both of them pause but have very different reactions. Selina's expression is pinched with irritation at the sudden cackling while Bruce looks alarmed.  
  
"Selina...who else is in my house?" Bruce asks quietly. Selina leans away and sighs, shoulders slumping.  
  
"I was hoping to soften you up a bit before I told you. You also just looked really edible, too," she says.  
  
Bruce closes his eyes. He already knows the answer and he's not sure how he's supposed to feel yet. "Please don't tell me the Arkham patients are downstairs," Bruce pleads pathetically.  
  
"Okay, I won't, but-"  
  
"Selina."  
  
"Harvey _really_ wants to see you," Selina continues despite his nearly pained expression. It turns even worse at the name drop.  
  
When the sounds of arguing begins, the man croaks, "Who else is down there?"  
  
"Oh, you know, Harvey. Harley and Pamela. Joker. Karlo wanted me to tell you he's sorry he couldn't make it," the woman drawls flippantly. Bruce makes a wounded noise with every name and the woman sniggers. "Stop being a big baby, Brucie. They really were worried when you didn't show up, you know? I think it's sweet," she continues.  
  
"You just like seeing me in pain," Bruce growls as he begins to sit back up. Selina shrugs and gives him a heated look.  
  
"I certainly wouldn't mind being the cause of it," she says with a wink. Bruce flushes and shoves her off his lap gently. Selina falls back against the bed with a delighted laugh. Bruce slides out of bed and pauses to take another sip of his coffee, taking it from the nightstand.  
  
They head out of the room and down the nearest stairs, Selina striding ahead of him to lead the way. They arrive into the kitchen shortly and Bruce can't believe his eyes.  
  
Harley is cooing at Bud and Lou on the kitchen floor, sprawled out with Bud lapping at her face with happy little noises. Lou has his face buried against her side as she scratches at both of their faces excitedly. Pamela is perched on a counter nearby with a cup of coffee in her hands. She looks softer than usual as she gazes at her girlfriend.  
  
Joker has his feet kicked up on the kitchen table and Bruce knows if Alfred were here the man would probably attempt to stab him in the head for the man's atrocious manners alone. He has a pancake that has soaked up probably a gallon of maple syrup speared on his knife. He bites at it vigorously, lipstick smeared with syrup.  
  
Bruce will never get the image of Cobblepot and Nygma locked in a rather heated kiss out of his mind, unfortunately, and Bruce closes his eyes in exasperation. Good for them but do they really have to in his kitchen?  
  
He turns his gaze to the stove and almost has an aneurysm when he sees Langstrom upside down in front of Harvey, who's plating up more pancakes. Langstom has half of a pancake in his grasp as he tears at it, chocolate sticking in his fur and claws. Harvey turns and his face brightens when he spots Bruce. It turns a bit sour when he sees the bandages but he shuffles over nonetheless.  
  
"What the hell...?" Bruce whispers, accepting a plate of pancakes with one hand. Harvey gives him a sheepish look and shrugs. He only vaguely notices that they've also stolen his clothes, their jumpsuits piled up in the corner.  
  
Harvey murmurs, "Thought you might want to have something to eat that isn't take-out. Where's...where's Alfred?"  
  
Bruce shuffles to the table and takes a seat next to Joker, putting his plate down and coffee mug. Joker eyes him with a grin, cheeks puffed out with how much food he's stuffed into his mouth. Bruce thinks he looks like an overgrown chipmunk and says as much. Joker kicks him in the shin in retaliation.  
  
"Yeah, uh, Alfred's out of the country to visit family. He won't be back for a bit," Bruce explains. Harvey nods and takes his seat. "What...what are you all...doing here?"  
  
Harvey fiddles with his fork and sighs. "Jim...told us you were takin' the rest of the week off. Fries, who got stuck because of the temperature, asked why and he told us you weren't feeling great. It was me an’ Joker’s idea to, uh, take a little bit of a field trip out of there," he says.  
  
Bruce can feel the horror stirring in his chest as he sets down his coffee mug. "Oh my fucking God I've got to call Jim. You didn't kill anyone, did you?" Bruce checks as he digs out his phone. Joker giggles and Bruce shoots him a dark look. The man isn't affected and simply grins at him.  
  
It's Harley who pipes up from where she's laying on the floor. "It's alright, Mr. Moneybags; ol' Commish saw us leave!"  
  
Bruce's fingers pause from where he's scrolling through his contacts. "He did...?" he asks hesitantly, disbelief clear. That doesn't sound like Jim at all. In fact, Bruce isn't sure there's been a time where Jim has let a criminal get away unless it was out of his control completely.  
  
"What Harley hasn't told you, however, is that we had to incapacitate the guards a bit," Pamela says.  
  
"What the fuck do you mean incapacitate?"  
  
Langstrom shrugs from where he's still hanging above the stove. He reaches down to sink his claws into another pancake from the cooling plate on the counter. Langstrom tells him, "It wasn't anything bad, trust me."  
  
Harvey nods along. "We just knock a few of 'em out a bit. Barely any resistance. We just stole one of those prison trucks and headed straight here to check on you," he says. Bruce nearly melts at the thoughtfulness of it but shakes his head.  
  
"You know this is going to set you back with everything, right?" Bruce murmurs. Harvey shrugs lightly.  
  
"It's worth it to make sure you're okay, Brucie," he murmurs and _fuck_ if Bruce doesn't blush at that. He resolutely ignores Joker's snickering and lashes out, kicking the man in the shin as he did earlier. Joker growls but doesn't make any comments.  
  
Bruce clears his throat and says quietly, "Thank you. That was...that was thoughtful," Bruce says quietly and hunches slightly as he scrolls through his contacts again. He dials Jim's number and feels thankful when Selina pulls Joker and Harvey into a conversation. Langstrom finally rights himself and yawns widely as he stretches out on the kitchen counter. Harley looks half asleep from her spot on the floor, and Pamela has moved to sit on the floor next to her.  
  
"Bruce? Thank God you called. Look, we've got a bit of a situation here-" Jim starts but Bruce cuts him off despite it being rude. It's better to calm the man now.  
  
"I know, Jim. They're in my kitchen," he tells him. There's silence over the phone for a minute so Bruce adds, "They made me breakfast."  
  
Jim exhales loudly and Bruce winces when the man says calmly, "I'm going to pretend like I never heard that. We're not going to let the media get wind of this, and I'm going to personally come over there to kick your ass."  
  
Bruce winces. "Don't worry, Jim, I'll keep them out of trouble for a bit. No need to rush."  
  
Nygma is leaning against the back of his chair, eyes bright as he chats with Selina. Cobblepot has made his way to Pamela where they argue quietly, Pamela looking delighted and Harley's eyes closed where she has her head in Pamela' lap.  
  
"Sometimes, I wonder why Alfred or any of your kids let you go anywhere alone," Jim says over the rumble of an engine.  
  
"They're not any better than me. Don't forget Damian broke into Target, and Cass was the one who hired those clowns to sneak into Lex's tower, and-"  
  
Jim sighs and grumbles, "We all know it runs in the Wayne family to do abnormally stupid things, Bruce, but this could top it all."  
  
Bruce rolls his eyes fondly and spears another chunk of pancake. "I take offense to that, Jim. I'm positive Jason has done worse."  
  
"God, you never stop making me want to deck you, do you?" Bruce bursts into laughter and leans back in his chair.  
  
"That seems to be my specialty. Call me when you're almost here and I'll get them ready," Bruce says.  
  
They say their farewells and Bruce hangs up.  
  
There's an awkward silence in the kitchen for a few moments before Nygma asks, "Can we watch TV? I bet you've got a huge one, don't you?"  
  
Bruce contemplates it for a moment before he says, "Sure, why not?" Harley's eyes snap open and she gives a little cheer, startling Lou from where he was dozing.  
  
"First one there gets ta pick what we watch!" she cries out. Everyone scrambles to their feet, Joker immediately pushing Nygma to the ground. The man makes a noise of outrage and kicks Joker in the back of the legs so the man falls as well. Langstom makes to fly across the room but Harley jumps onto the kitchen table, just barely missing Bruce and Selina's plates of food, and leaps onto his back with a cackle. Langstrom shrieks and they both tumble to the floor.  
  
Bruce can't help his amused laughter as Harvey, Selina, and Pamela shove at each other as they hurry through the doorway, Pamela nearly tripping when Selina shoves her. The two begin to wrestle with one another, playful delight clear on their faces. Harley is up from where her and Langstrom spilled onto the floor.  
  
Joker and Cobblepot are now pushing at each other, both of them making a run for it. Harvey makes it down the stairs and hollers in surprise when Bud and Lou bowl him over. Harley giggles from where she slides down the banister of the stairs, a smug smirk on her lips. Bruce watches from the kitchen as she runs past Langstrom and Nygma slapping and tripping each other.  
  
"I'm babysitting, aren't I," Bruce whispers, "I'm babysitting a bunch of dangerous children."  
  
His point is proven when he hears the arguments starting from the living room, Joker and Selina yelling at each other. There's a crash and a yowl of pain from he thinks Pamela.  
  
He walks in on the disaster and shakes his head in exasperation. "I should've known better than to let this play out," Bruce says as he takes in the damage. Harley's head pops up from where she's being sat on by Joker.  
  
"Pshh, ya love us!"  
  
Bruce rolls his eyes with a tiny smile and makes his way to the couch. Selina launches herself over it to take a seat in his lap. She lifts her legs and lets Harvey slide in next to her. Then, she drops her legs down to rest in his lap. Harvey squeezes her bare ankle and his thumb begins to pass over her skin slowly. He then sidles closer to Bruce with an almost shy expression. Bruce meets his eyes with what he knows is a soft look and laughs nervously, face flushing at the contact. They're pressed together, shoulder to shoulder and thigh to thigh. Selina has her head leaning against Bruce's other shoulder, carefully avoiding his injury. Bruce keeps his hand on her thigh partly to keep her steady and partly to trace little patterns on her skin.  
  
Joker throws himself into the spot next to Bruce. He looks up at the man, fluttering his lashes and puckering his red lips mockingly. "What about me, Brucie-baby," he pouts, nails creeping along his arm.  
  
"I'm going to wring your skinny neck if you don't stop that," Bruce tells him. Joker cackles and lets his arm go, simply throwing an arm around the back of the couch instead.  
  
"Don't threaten me with a good time, honey," Joker chirps. Bruce bares his teeth and watches Harley tip back from where she's seated on the back of the couch. She laughs, legs bent over the back of the couch and head hanging down from the front to watch things upside down. Pamela takes the last open spot and glides her nails over Harley's stomach where her shirt has risen. Harley giggles and kicks her legs, hands gripping at the woman's wrist when Pamela's fingers begin to tickle over her stomach playfully.  
  
"Pammy, _no_ -" Harley cuts herself off with another round of laughter. Pamela laughs along while Cobblepot and Nygma take a seat on the floor, Nygma's head pillowed on Cobblepot's chest. Langstrom is sprawled out with Bud and Lou sniffing at him curiously.  
  
Although another argument starts up they end up watching Love Island. Bruce fucking hates the show and takes great pleasure in jeering at the show with Langstrom and Pamela until Joker smacks him straight on his injured shoulder. Before anyone else can attempt to defend him, Bruce kicks the man in the ankle until both of them are kicking at each other's legs. It's much tamer than their normal fights but he guesses Joker doesn't mind because they keep it up through the entire episode. Bruce is sure they'll both have colorful bruises later.  
  
"Shut up, shut up!" Nygma cries, waving his hand wildly, "Things are kicking off! Oh, I hope she decks him!"  
  
For the first time since his kids and Alfred left home, Bruce feels content.  
  


* * *

  
After a few episodes of Love Island they move on to sit through Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Joker getting to pick. Most of them are chattering to defend their picks of who, out of the tiny group they have, would be the final girl. Bruce knows it'd probably be Pamela. Selina disagrees and boldly claims Joker. Nygma rejects that and tells them Joker would be the psychotic killer. Nobody disagrees.  
  
The door bell rings and Bruce ignores the sudden stillness of the atmosphere. Harvey looks a little downtrodden as Bruce wriggles free from them, Selina moving from his lap to shift into Harvey's with a little smile. Harvey keeps one hand around her waist while the other begins to go through the motions of flipping a coin. Bruce makes his way from the living room and manages to get to the door before the bell is buzzed again.  
  
"Hey, Jim. They're just in there," Bruce says, closing the door as the man steps into the house. Jim pauses to look over Bruce, his hand squeezing at Bruce's uninjured shoulder.  
  
Jim asks quietly, "What happened in Bludhaven, Bruce?"  
  
Bruce's jaw clenches and he blows out a slightly shaky breath. "Fries wanted me to get his wife back but she was with Valentin. I drove down to Bludhaven to get her. She's fine, down...below us and still asleep but Valentin didn't hold back. Chainsaw to the shoulder. I was already a tad injured so I just needed the time off," Bruce reveals.  
  
Jim nods slowly. "You set that fire to the warehouse? Not anyone else?"  
  
"Yeah. My blood was all over that basement floor and I couldn't have that. Dick saw me down there in Bludhaven, though, so I think he's going to know."  
  
"I'll talk to him again if I need to."  
  
Bruce startles. "Again?" he asks, brows furrowed.  
  
Jim ruffles his own hair in what seems to be stress. "Yeah, uh, Dick called. Was real concerned when he heard about the fire. Also told me Valentin died on the way to the hospital. His victims are still kicking and there's a team trying to figure out how to help them." Jim tells him softly.  
  
Bruce can only feel relief at the news. There were very few who made him feel terrified and Valentin was one, haunting his sleep like a ghost. He hopes the nightmares will come less, now. And although he's a little hurt Dick didn't call him it makes sense. If he wants information they both knew Dick wouldn't get it from Bruce if he was hiding something. They've done this same song and dance before, and Bruce is contemplating telling him just to keep the others from finding out if Dick tells them. His eldest would probably be the most open to his plans.  
  
"I didn't mean for him to die, Jim, but I can't say I'm too upset about it," Bruce admits. Jim claps him on the shoulder.  
  
"You, me, and the entirety of Bludhaven."  
  
Bruce laughs lightly and looks down towards the floor. He looks back up and smiles. "Thank you, Jim."  
  
"Not a problem. Now, I really need-"  
  
Bruce nods before the man can finish his sentence and leads Jim into the doorway of the living room. "Pack it up, everyone. Fieldtrip's over."  
  
Harvey sighs and stands after Selina rolls out of his lap as well. Joker sends them a pout but neither of them are moved. The man groans in annoyance and gets to his feet, helping Harley scramble up as well. Nygma plants a heated kiss to Cobblepot's lips before he's clambering to his feet.  
  
They make their way through the living room, Joker making a valiant attempt to see the next few parts of the movie as he's guided from the room. He makes a put upon noise when it's finally out a few and Bruce rolls his eyes.  
  
"I'll make sure that'll be the first movie you see when Arkham's in better shape. Now go," Bruce tells him. Joker's eyes light up and he skips after Harley, throwing an arm around her shoulders. She giggles and chatters at him, Bud and Lou trailing after her.  
  
Pamela grimaces when Joker puts an arm around her shoulders but allows it when the man doesn't try anything else. Langstrom and Nygma begin to talk quietly as they move, Cobblepot's arm around the man's waist. Bruce assumes Cobblepot will head back to his work soon enough.  
  
Bruce startles when a hand brushes against his arm. Harvey blinks at him and Bruce can't help his fond smile. "Can I talk to you, Brucie?" he whispers hesitantly. Bruce peers over the man's shoulders and shoots Jim a look. The man nods and turns on his heel to wave out the rest of the group, then dances around Bud and Lou with an alarmed expression.  
  
"Yeah, what is it?" Bruce says once they're relatively alone. Bruce can hear Selina messing around in the kitchen but he doesn't really mind it.  
  
Harvey's fingers rub against each other slowly and he avoids Bruce's eyes. "I really worry about you, Brucie. How did you-how did you even get injured this bad?" Harvey asks, one hand moving up to hover over his wounded shoulder.  
  
Bruce opens and closes his mouth a few times, at a loss. Harvey gives him a hurt look when Bruce can't come up with anything and moves back a step, lips pulled downward.  
  
"Harvey..." Bruce says quietly, feeling sick to his stomach. What the fuck was he supposed to do? He's not sure this is going to end well either way. "I..."  
  
Harvey crosses his arms over his chest, hunching in on himself. "Let me guess; you can't tell me, but Sellie knows," he rumbles. Bruce winces at the accurate guess. She didn't know all the details but she knew plenty about him.  
  
"Harvey, I really, _really_ want to tell you but-"  
  
Harvey's shoulders slump further and he shoots Bruce a rather bitter smile. "I know what you're going to say, Brucie. Forget it. You're not obligated to tell me or nothing. Just...be careful, would you?" Harvey says as he backs away again.  
  
Bruce can feel the fear nearly choking him but he has to tell Harvey. He's going to regret it if he doesn't, if he waits. He'll lose his nerve and it'll never come out the way he wants. Bruce lets out a shaky breath and whispers, "Harvey, what I'm about to tell you is going to make you hate me. And I'm sorry for this."  
  
Harvey's eyes narrow and Bruce peers around him again. "Jim, would you give us a few minutes? I'm...it's about..." Bruce trails off and Jim nods in understanding.  
  
"Are you sure?" he asks and Bruce nods.  
  
"Thank you," he says when Jim heads out the door. Bruce leads him down the hallways, the silence feeling heavy.  
  
Bruce murmurs, "I've never known how to tell you this, Harvey. There's very few people I've willingly admitted this to, you know? Most of the time it was just accidents if they didn't already know. Selina was...a bit different," Bruce says.  
  
Harvey looks to him in confusion and Bruce unlocks the door of his study. He pushes open the door and Bruce leads the man in. "Well...you really can tell me anything Bruce. We've been-we've been friends for years. I just...hate us keeping secrets like this," Harvey says. Bruce closes the door carefully and turns to face Harvey.  
  
"I know, Harvey, but this was necessary. And...I really shouldn't be telling you this. This is such a shitty idea, and it's going to fuck up a lot of things but I can't just lie straight to your face anymore. I just can't," Bruce says weakly. Harvey's face scrunches and he looks a bit upset, most likely at the news that Bruce has been lying to him, but Bruce ignores it. "Harvey, I'm Batman," Bruce says.  
  
The room is quiet for a few tense seconds. "Brucie, if you didn't want to tell me-" Harvey starts but Bruce waves his hands, wincing when his stitches pull with the movement.  
  
"No, no, no! I'm completely serious, Harvey, and I _know_ this isn't ideal, and fuck if I didn't hate _every minute_ of our fights, and-"  
  
Harvey looks at him in disbelief and Bruce turns to the tall grandfather clock. He uses his index finger to set the time to ten forty-eight and watches as the bookcase slides to the side to reveal stairs leading downward.  
  
"Brucie...oh my God you weren't joking," Harvey breathes, eyes wide when he looks between the new passage and Bruce. Bruce nods and can feel the fear building in his throat again. He kind of wants to cry but ignores that in favor of examining the man's expression, which looks horribly distraught.  
  
Harvey turns to him and stammers, "Bru-Brucie I've shot you. What the hell? How are you-why are you still visiting me when I've hurt you?!"  
  
Bruce gapes because this is _not_ how he was expecting things to go. Bruce stumbles toward him and catches his hands before Harvey can pull away. "Because you're my friend, Harvey. Of course I'm going to visit you. Why the hell wouldn't I?" Bruce says.  
  
Harvey tugs at the grip Bruce has on his wrists halfheartedly, beginning to look miserable. "I've done awful things, Brucie. I just thought maybe...maybe you didn't know the extent and that's why you still visited. I was too much of a coward to tell you but you-you knew," Harvey whispers.  
  
Bruce nods wordlessly and Harvey finally does pull his wrists away. He paces shakily while Bruce watches him worriedly. The man doesn't flinch when Harvey slams his fist against his study's wall. Instead, he approaches carefully, unsure if Two-Face was going to make an appearance or if Harvey was just frustrated.  
  
His question is answered when Harvey turns to face him, eyes looking the slightest bit shiny. "God, Brucie," he whispers, shuddering when Bruce closes the space between them and pulls the man into a tight hug.  
  
Harvey's arms are tight around his body. Bruce ignores the slight tremble of his fingers as he strokes over the man's back soothingly. They stay like that for a while. Harvey eventually pulls away, face hard as he wipes at his eyes. Bruce reaches out to cup the man's face carefully, one hand hovering over the scarred side of his face while the other is resting against his skin. Harvey tips his head to press his scarred cheek against Bruce's palm.  
  
Bruce brushes his thumb over the raised skin. "Does it hurt?" he asks quietly, finger following the bumpy lines.  
  
Harvey meets his eyes and responds with, "No more than yours," and that's that.  
  
"Are we...gonna be okay?" Harvey eventually asks and Bruce laughs roughly.  
  
"I should be asking you that, Harve."  
  
"Maybe I'll be mad about it later, and I really don't understand why you're still here with me, or even fixing up fucking _Arkham_ ," he says, "but I'm just glad you're alright. I'm just thankful you're here."  
  
Bruce swallows around the lump in his throat and nods. "I'm glad you're still with me, Harve. I really am," he whispers.  
  
Harvey sends him a little smile and Bruce untangles himself from the man, missing him immediately after. He locks up the cave's entrance, setting the clock back, and opens up the door. They both leave and Bruce locks up his study.  
  
Bruce leads Harvey back to where Jim waits, the trucks idling. They hug one last time and Bruce watches longingly as Jim leads Harvey away, Jim waving at him. It feels wrong to not have Harvey with him after finally having him in the house again. It doesn't feel right and Bruce _hates it_. He feels unbalanced. Like something's missing.  
  
Bruce locks up the front door and heads up the stairs. Selina watches him from the doorway and he smiles at her weakly. The woman follows after him casually as he heads back into his room. He's exhausted both emotionally and physically so he's grateful Selina is here.  
  
He slides into the bed and lets Selina press up close to him, their eyes locking. "You love him," she asks- _states_ -and Bruce nods regardless, eyes beginning to water. Selina slides her thumb underneath his eye to catch a stray tear. "And do you love me?" Again, Bruce nods at the words. Selina's lips stretch into such a sweet smile that Bruce can hardly believe it.  
  
Selina leans forward to press a loving kiss to his lips. When she pulls away, Bruce says, "I'm sorry," and Selina kisses him again. Her lips are sure against his, warm and steady. She pulls back after a moment.  
  
"Don't be, Brucie. He loves you too," Selina soothes, breath warm against his face as she speaks.  
  
He asks, "Does he? Do you?"  
  
"Of course he does," Selina tells him under the covers, "and I do love you. I really do."  
  
And that's enough for Bruce.  
  
(He doesn't have nightmares when he falls asleep, and for that he's is grateful)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joker: mr wayne i love u sm uwu <3  
> bruce: i will sling ur spine like a yo-yo
> 
> the whole opening the batcave thing; i wasnt sure how i wanted to do it. i was kinda tempted to have it open like the old show did with adam west since i grew up w that show and love it SO MUCH but i decided to try the classic style of the grandfather clock and move the bookcase too to try to combine them. the thought of bruce and dick sliding down poles to the batcave is hilarious tho because that means alfred would have done so too to get down there, right???
> 
> also i learned that bruce is probably taller than harvey in this and had to change things so if u see smth wack about heights pls tell me. i thought bruce was 6'0 but he's apparently 6'2???? mans is tall as hell. so i have selina as 5'4 (my height!!!), harvey i made him slightly shorter at 5'11, and bruce at 6'2(ish)
> 
> im also VERY excited for my next stories. I have a whole new series planned with three main stories. we'll have a bruce centric, a dick centric, and then the other batkids get to share the last one. hopefully very gory and very action packed with a side of romance because i'm a sucker for this idea rn. idk how many times this has been done but it's going to be fun for me!! might post three teaser chapters for each fic to get y'all excited or sum idk i just know im SO EXCITED!!! there's also a little bit of a hint in here on what the genre is and im sure y'all can figure it out before i post my teaser chapters. it's kinda obvious :)
> 
> Breath of the Wild fans; i'm gonna be posting a little link/zelda short soon too so keep an eye out for that if you're interested. at some point i'll also be working on a cliched time travel fic for y'all but that probably won't be until next year! age of calamity is dope as fuck and it inspired me
> 
> hope you guys enjoyed this chapter :) love u all!!


	8. Bane & Waylon Jones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce finally makes his way to Bane and Waylon's area of the prison to chat properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi y'all
> 
> wasn't feeling great these past few days tbh so that's why this chapter is both shorter and later than i would've liked. real life is feeling kinda shitty for me but it is what it is ig
> 
> my favorite artist made it a bit better but i was just not feeling great
> 
> wanna give a really big thank you to you guys again. y'all comments and kudos mean a lot to me <3 thank u for the support

Bruce takes off two more days before he allows himself to take to the rooftops again. He makes sure he's out and about on patrol for longer to make up for it, taking back the streets with ease.  
  
He spends some time with Bud and Lou afterward, making sure they're moved to a larger room before he leaves, rather fond of their happy cackles when he tosses in the few bloody hunks of meat. Then, he leaves for a hot shower and doesn't bother trying to sleep. He changes his bandages, pulls on a more comfortable sweater and slacks, and heads out early for Blackgate. After that he has a meeting to begin the process of hiring new staff.  
  
Nearly an hour later, Bruce pushes through the doors of Blackgate with bags in his hands. He signs in, letting the guards search through his bags, and heads down to where he knows the Arkham patients are either asleep or entertaining themselves.  
  
He heads through the doors, punching in the codes, and pushes through the doors. Immediately, he hears Karlo chatting rather easily with Langstrom. There's the familiar loud snores coming from Joker's cell, so Bruce is assured the man is asleep.  
  
When he peers into Harvey's, however, he can feel his lips tightening. The man looks up from where his coin is rolling across his fingers in a carefully controlled manner. His eyes are angry and cold, and when he spots Bruce he looks more curious than the usual snarl that's on Two-Face's expression.  
  
Because that's Two-Face, not Harvey. Bruce knows the difference by now and even if Harvey is angry at him that's _not_ Harvey. And he's not sure if he should be approaching him at the moment. Two-Face generally wasn't someone he talked to. He was defensive and liked to amuse himself by taunting Bruce with thinly veiled insults or threats until Bruce stepped out. Harvey always apologized the next time they saw each other, and Bruce would forgive him, and they would move on.  
  
Two-Face was alright on some days, and Bruce knows he'll have to make peace with him if Bruce wants to get together with Harvey properly, but today is not going to be that day. He can spot the tension in the man's posture and expression from a mile away. Bruce knows his friend like the back of his hand most days.  
  
So, he tears his gaze away from Two-Face and walks past. He doesn't know how to feel when Two-Face continues to stare at him while he passes by, right up until he's out of sight and stopping in front of Fries' cell.  
  
Fries looks up at him hopefully. "Mr. Wayne...is Nora alright?" he asks anxiously. He looks tired but he sets his book aside in favor of standing to make his way closer to the door. Bruce lets a smile spread across his lips.  
  
"Nora is safe and removed from Valentin's warehouse. She's hooked up and in rather stable condition," Bruce reports.  
  
He knows everything was absolutely worth it when he sees Fries' relieved expression. Fries gives him such a grateful look that Bruce can't help but smile wider. "Thank you, Mr. Wayne. You have no idea..."  
  
Bruce waves his hands. "I'm glad to have been of service, Dr. Fries. In other news, she will be moved into Arkham once everything is finished and done for easier access. In the meantime, I'll be talking with Commissioner Gordon on somehow letting you have access to the lab. I'd be happy to send in a team for you to work with, if you'd like," Bruce says.  
  
Fries' shoulders slump and he murmurs, "Would you really?"  
  
Bruce nods. "I'll make sure to arrange it soon. I wish you luck, Dr. Fries, I really do."  
  
With those words, Bruce backs away and turns to the right. He tentatively enters the code into the heavy door in front of him and slips through once he can open it, bag bouncing against his legs.  
  
He hates this but he's not going to let himself back out of this. Bruce makes his way down the stairs and arrives in the lower level area. Bane is already up, eyes immediately snapping toward him with clear interest. He only sees a brief glimpse of Waylon before the man disappears in the dark water. Bruce moves to stand in front of Bane's cell and looks up toward the man.  
  
Fuck this. Bruce would rather be chatting up a storm with a hostile Two-Face than this.  
  
Regardless, Bruce says, "Mr. Bane. How has your stay been? I must confess, I was rather hesitant to pay you a visit personally at the moment," he admits easily. Bane's own lips curl but Bruce isn't sure if it's in displeasure or amusement.  
  
After a few seconds of tense silence, Bane rasps, "The bat fascinates me, you know?"  
  
_What the fuck?_  
  
Bruce raises an eyebrow at the words. If _Bane_ knows then Bruce knows this project is a bust and he's going to have to move. Drastic? Maybe, but he's not going to sit around with one of his greatest adversaries knowing his and his family's identities. It was bad enough Joker knew already.  
  
"Interesting, but I don't see how that answers my question," he says smoothly as if he's not prepared to bolt out of the room if it looks like things are going south.  
  
"You seem to hate Batman, is that right?"  
  
Is this a test? Bruce feels like this is a test. Or maybe it's a trap. He's really not sure which it is but both options feel horrible. "That's right. I'm not exactly his biggest fan at the moment," he says with a tense smile. A rather cruel smile seats itself on Bane's lips comfortably at the words.  
  
"Those who truly, undeniably hate the Bat are normally weak. They're cowards who fear what he can do. Are you one of them too, Mr. Wayne?" Bane drawls and Bruce can't help but sneer at the words.  
  
He has no idea where this was going. "I hate Batman because he's a coward. A coward who so foolishly turned a blind eye to all of those currently in here. He's Gotham's great hero, our _wonderful_ symbol of justice and he just keeps fucking up," Bruce spits bitterly. Maybe it's not healthy but it's a bit therapeutic to locate his own faults and talk them out even if it is with Bane of all people. It's easier to take a step back and find where he's gone wrong when he detaches himself from Batman. "He fucks over the people who have fucked over by this city the most. He's arrogant as hell, too cocky for his own good. Who can blame some of these people for kicking his ass?"  
  
Bane's eyes are glittering with interest. That was one of the worst things about Bane, Bruce finds. He isn't all brawn and no brains. Instead, he was wildly intelligent. He's probably one of the smartest criminals Bruce has ever gone up against and the man has the muscle, even without Venom, to break his bones with relative ease without his suit. It was one of the biggest reasons Bruce was half terrified of Bane. He was smart and most likely already halfway through figuring out his identity.  
  
Finally, after a few more seconds of silence, Bane rumbles, "You are an interesting little man, Wayne. Very interesting indeed."  
  
Bruce doesn't know how to feel about that. "Thank you...I suppose."  
  
He takes the resulting silence as a chance to escape, moving on to Waylon's tank. He spots the man's eyes watching him, bright even in the dark of the water, and climbs his way onto the platform above it to check the temperature.  
  
It seems to be alright, actually. Bruce is glad the guards, who are strangely absent, are keeping things running correctly even while he's not here.  
  
A loud thud has Bruce jumping in alarm. Waylon's hands are pressed against the top of the tank. He watches Bruce with a bright eyed stare and grins widely to show off his teeth. The man thumps on the glass once again and Bruce, like the fool he is, wanders closer to the edge of the platform to observe him.  
  
Then, there's a loud buzzing. Bruce looks to where a guard watches him with vaguely apologetic eyes as she holds down the button to open Waylon's tank. Before Bruce can question her, chew her out or even dart down to shake some sense into her a strong hand snatches him by the ankle. Claws prod at his skin and Bruce can't even shout before he's dragged into the water.  
  
Instinctively, he shuts his eyes but he forces them open. The saltwater stings at his eyes uncomfortably but he fights against that to stare defiantly at the curious man before him. Waylon makes a curious, rumbling noise deep in his chest that makes Bruce want to cry. What the hell was he doing here?  
  
Waylon darts around his body quicker than Bruce could ever hope to in the water. His teeth graze against his skin, gentler than Bruce would've ever thought the man capable of with such pointed fangs, and Bruce gives him an uncomfortable look when his lungs begin to beg for air.  
  
When Waylon moves back from him Bruce takes the chance to shoot up in an effort to get the fuck out of there and tell Jim to get new guards because this shit could _not_ happen again. Instead, when he breaks to the surface, Bruce is snagged by the sweater via the man's claws.  
  
"You are a pleasant little specimen, Mr. Wayne," Waylon says. Bruce shivers and takes a moment to catch his breath. Then, he glances around.  
  
The guard is gone. Bane is the only other person in this room at the moment and Bruce isn't sure how he feels about that. Why weren't there guards in here? Was this just all a nice little trap for him?  
  
"Yeah, well, I tend to get that a lot," Bruce says with a nervous laugh. This really wasn't a good position to be in. No suit, nothing to really defend himself against the man. If he really wanted to Waylon could take a bite out of him and there wouldn't be much Bruce could do while he was in the fucking water.  
  
Waylon snorts through his nose slits. "Why does little billionaire Bruce Wayne care for us? You've been asked many times, Mr. Wayne, but I'd like a straight answer. Nothing fancy like you've told those other criminals. I don't care for your emotional hogwash," Waylon tells him.  
  
Bruce is taken aback at the demand. He murmurs, "Because who else will?"  
  
"Harsh."  
  
"But true, isn't it?" Bruce says as he bobs in the water, "Nobody else is going to care about you all. You've destroyed countless cities and families. So I took it upon myself to care for those who nobody else cares for."  
  
"I wasn't aware you cared for more than getting your dick wet," Waylon tells him bluntly. Bruce blushes because _yeah_ , his reputation wasn't the greatest. It was pretty important that it stayed that way to at least the public but sometimes it was easy to forget about the front he put up for others when he was around these rather clever minds.  
  
Waylon doesn't let up, however. "Do you really think _you_ of all people, Mr. Wayne, can help these deranged souls? Through, what, throwing your filthy money around?"  
  
Bruce scowls. "I'm doing what I can, okay? I'm doing my best and that's a lot more than anyone else in this fucking city has done for you all," he snarls, metaphorical hackles raised. The man managed to hit a nerve Bruce didn't even know he had.  
  
Because what if he couldn't do a single goddamn thing for them? What is this was just another failure to add to his collection, something that his family would scarcely mention, whether because they pitied him or were embarrassed because he'd failed these people twice. First as Batman, then as Bruce Wayne. Bruce didn't want that. He wanted to help properly.  
  
Waylon lifts him rather delicately out of the water and back onto the platform with ease. Bruce lets him, and when he touches the ground he simply lays back with a shiver. His injuries burn the slightest bit from the salt in the water but he can barely feel it anymore.  
  
"I'm trying my best," Bruce whispers in the silence, throwing one arm onto his eyes when he feels the humiliating sting of tears. What the fuck was he doing here?  
  
There's the sound of water splashing and soon enough there's a cold, wet form brushing against him. "I can see that. We all can," Waylon crouches near him and settles in next to him, cold scales feeling odd against the man. Bruce feels rather small next to the man, a cool tail laying across his already soaked slacks. The man's hand lays on his stomach hesitantly, claws brushing over Bruce's sweater.  
  
What was he doing with his life? Was any of this even going to work out? At all?  
  
Bruce swallows thickly and looks to the man. "I really am trying," he repeats and chokes back the sob that threatens to leave his lips. Waylon doesn't answer this time, only gives a rather vicious sounding rumble that is strangely soothing. Bruce sighs quietly and shuts his eyes.  
  
He trusts the man enough not to tear a limb or organ from him while he slept.  
  
Bruce prays that none of this backfires horrendously. Then, he's lulled into sleep, Waylon's near purrs and hisses enough to reassure him. After all, who the hell would attempt to ambush him with a rather short tempered predator watching him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alfred: master bruce im begging please get therapy  
> bruce, in the middle of laying with a cannibalistic criminal: lol who needs therapy when i can get comfort from supervillains for free!!
> 
> I am now tremendously fond of Waylon & Bruce being friends and probably going to write something quick later to express this. 
> 
> so sorry this took a while for such a short chapter. I'm going to be digging into my side studies more seriously, soon, and I'm trying to move along in actual school work to make sure I graduate on time and everything. In other news, though, I am now working on improving my digital art and might forget to update like a dummy so feel free to bully me on twitter if u need to if it's been more than a week. @ is in my profile.
> 
> this fic is honestly almost done ngl. there's not too much i have left planned for it. next multi-chapter fic will be up pretty soon after i finish this (maybe even beforehand tbh im excited for it and the series its in)


	9. Multi (Sort of)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce talks with Jim (twice) and has a heart to heart with Harvey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all!
> 
> this is another shorter chapter but the next one should make up for it i think. i'm struggled with motivation for this one but i got it out. unfortunately i have a whole english essay and a forensics project to do tomorrow which is why this is being posted tonight instead of sometime tomorrow.
> 
> thank you all for the support on this fic. im super glad you're enjoying this as much i as i am y'all! i appreciate ur comments so much you guys are super funny and fun to talk with.

"Jim, you need better staff," Bruce announces as he pushes into the man's office. Before he left he had to herd Waylon back into his tank and head home to change. Now, he's wearing a button black button up and a different pair of slacks. His hair is still damp but Bruce ignores that.  
  
Jim looks up from where he's sifting through a pile of documents and raises his eyebrow. "Did Montoya not share her lunch again?" he asks, face conveying his amusement. Bruce rolls his eyes with a slight blush. Montoya was a fantastic cook and Bruce often pleaded with her to share it. Usually, she didn't. On the good days, however, Bruce was able to get an extra portion.  
  
Bruce scoffs, "No, not Montoya. Some Blackgate guards just dropped me into Waylon's tank, like, two hours ago."  
  
" _What?_ "  
  
"Yeah, it was fucking weird. Did you know Waylon's skin is actually comfortable to sleep on?"  
  
Jim's eyes close and Bruce throws himself into the chair in front of the man. "Bruce," he starts wearily, "just give me the names."  
  
Bruce smirks at the man's exasperated expression. "Yeah, yeah, fine. Hand over that paper," he demands. Jim digs out a pen and a scrap of paper and Bruce copies down the names of the faces he remembers. He was familiar with quite a few of them considering he interacts with a few of them on most nights as Batman.  
  
Jim looks over the names with dark eyes. "I'm going to tear these bastards a new one and then fire them as quickly as possible. I'll see if I can get replacements within the week."  
  
Bruce is touched the man cares this much. So, Bruce tells him, "Can I dunk them in Waylon's tank?" He's obviously joking but the glare he gets from Jim is amusing all the same.  
  
"Get out of my office."  
  
"Jim, I'm _hurt_ -"  
  
" _Out_ ," Jim orders, swatting him on the arm with a file. Bruce laughs and gets to his feet, dancing out of reach with a fond smile.  
  
Bruce waves and heads out the door. It was time to figure out the timeline for Arkham's rebuilding.  
  


* * *

  


Bruce ends up heading back to Blackgate the next afternoon. Apparently, Harvey was asking for him after his first session with Dr. Kline so he knew he had to head over immediately. He rounds Bud and Lou up, letting them roam around the manor freely for the first time since Bud hadn't actually tried to escape in a few days.  
  
He notices a few guards really are missing and is slightly surprised that Jim's gotten rid of them so quickly. Bruce waves at the receptionist cheerfully and she doesn't even bother stopping him to sign in this time. Bruce whistles as he types in the code and pushes through the doors.  
  
He strides past the guards and stops in front of Harvey's cell. The man is hunched over where he sits on his rather uncomfortable bed, elbows resting against his knees. Bruce turns back to the guard and waves his hand.  
  
The man nods easily and opens up his cell with a ringing buzz. Bruce steps in cautiously and murmurs, "Harve? You doing alright? Dr. Kline told me you wanted to speak with me."  
  
Harvey looks up and he looks troubled. "Yeah, I..." Bruce approaches the bed carefully and Harvey moves over absentmindedly to let him sit. "Things are jumbled, Brucie. We talked a lot today and I just-I just don't get how you and I can still be friends."  
  
Bruce raises an eyebrow, heart beginning to thud in his chest faster. "Is this your way of telling me we can't be friends anymore?" he asks, voice wavering slightly at the thought. They'd been friends for years. They'd been through hell and back together and Bruce wasn't ready to give it up. He wasn't ready to lose his best friend.  
  
"No, no, Brucie. I-I just don't get how we're still friends. We've unknowingly hurt each other so fucking much, don't you see? How can we get past that? How am I supposed to be around you know that I've put a bullet through your lungs before, or that you've nearly taken my eyes out, or that I've come so close to putting a bullet in my best friend's head and only didn't because of a _fucking coin_."  
  
Bruce swallows and meets the man's eyes. "We talk about it. And we...and we tell ourselves that it happened, and it's unfortunate but we have to move on. Harvey," Bruce whispers, "my own kids have almost killed me before. Jim has almost killed me and so has Selina. We've moved on. And we can too."  
  
Harvey's jaw clenches and he looks away, fingers clasping together. "Dr. Kline and I...talked about my dad. And the accident. And....it was hard. She actually _believed me_ even though I don't have a lot of memories from all of that. I barely remember the hospital nights. Two-Face had to talk for me. I just...it didn't feel like any of it happened to me, Brucie. And I'm _scared_."  
  
Bruce reaches over carefully, fingers brushing over Harvey's hands. Harvey allows him to take them in his own and squeeze them gently. Bruce says, "That's alright. It was your first session, Harvey. These things take time, okay? You'll get there when you and Two-Face are ready,"  
  
Harvey nods shakily and still seems to refuse to look at him. "Two-Face never meant to hurt anyone, you know? I just wanted to protect him. He was so hurt, Bruce. He felt _so_ fuckin' lost, and I just wanted to keep him safe. Keep 'im from gettin' hurt. But things just went so wrong. You gotta believe me there," he whispers.  
  
The change is perspective, as well as the slightly different way of speaking is what tips Bruce off. He shakes his right hand free and reaches to the side to guide the man's gaze to his. The eyes he's used to seeing either so angry or so soft and loving are just... _sad_. And it breaks Bruce's fucking heart.  
  
"I know, Two-Face. I believe you. Your intentions were good but you went about it the wrong way. But now is the time to correct it," Bruce says, and Two-Face sighs while his shoulders slump.  
  
He says, "I'd like to start over, Bruce, if you'll allow it. We both hurt each other but I'd like another chance. We both would."  
  
Bruce laughs, feeling giddy. "Of course. I'd love that," he says and Two-Face grins at him. Or maybe it's Harvey. He's not sure at the moment because the lines between them have blurred for just a split second. Then, he finds himself staring at Harvey's soft expression once more.  
  
They don't say a word as Harvey shifts on the bed, sprawling out on his back. Bruce lays next to him, hand on his chest and face buried in his hair. He feels like he's practically bursting with happiness, heart pounding hard in his chest.  
  
They only stay in silence for a few more minutes. Then, Bruce says softly, "I love you."  
  
And Harvey breathes out, in the rare silence of the prison, “I love you too, Brucie.”  
  
And finally, Bruce feels complete.  
  


* * *

  


The month passes by rather quickly. Bruce finds himself juggling his responsibilities as well as spending time with Selina for dates and dinner. He works with the Arkham patients, one on one if they need, and finds himself ridiculously fond of the band of criminals. Karlo is eager to begin his therapy, talking Bruce’s ear off about wanting to return to being an actor. Bruce promises to assist in making that happen.  
  
Harvey and him often talk and, while Two-Face doesn’t come to the front often, he does occasionally chat with Bruce. Harvey’s already had three more sessions with Dr. Kline. Bruce is rather hopeful about his positive response to the woman. Bruce and Harvey also spend an absurd amount of time together whether it’s simply talking or playing cards. Selina begins to try to stop by two days a week, still busy with all of her own personal projects.  
  
Nygma has tentatively begun sifting through the piles of files Bruce brings in an attempt to find the perfect psychiatrist. Bruce wasn’t sure if the man wanted to take it seriously or not but a few visits from Cobblepot puts an end to those thoughts. He’d only overheard part of their conversation but it was enough confirmation that Bruce begins to bring a bigger pile, some from out of the city and state.  
  
Providing the perfect team for Fries wasn’t overly difficult, surprisingly. Bruce had personally oversaw Nora being transported from the Batcave to his tower. Every three days, Fries is shipped over to the tower under Bullock and his officers’ sharp watch to work with a team Bruce handpicked. The man seems hopeful, especially with the technology he needs being handed over easily and no time being wasted on fighting for it or having to create it himself.  
  
Ivy and Harley are surprisingly happy. Harley eagerly asked him for a psychiatrist before making a few ironic jokes about the situation. Ivy had demanded one as well, so Bruce brought them a few files on some of his top picks. It hadn’t been hard for them to pick, surprisingly, and Bruce is delighted to see them both sticking to it. It might have something to do with the fact that Harley wanted to open up a shop with Ivy and propose at some point in the near future.  
  
(Bruce hopes he’ll be invited to their wedding with how much they _exhaust him_ )  
  
Bane is a work in progress. He’s shown plenty of signs of wanting to go off of Venom for good but getting the man to accept the help, much less admit what he wants, is hard. Bruce tries his best to chat with him every week at the least but it’s hard sometimes. Bane still terrifies the hell out of him sometimes and Bane is still wary of him.  
  
Waylon is much easier. He talks with Bruce, expresses how he wants to get over the whole supervillain shtick. He’s put down by the need to stop eating people, but Bruce painstakingly buys as many variations of raw, bloody meat as he can to find the man a new favorite meal to snack on. He even tells him he can get a live animal to chase when his area is set up in Arkham. Waylon agrees easily and nearly terrifies the new guards Jim has posted by pulling Bruce straight into the water for a game of one sided tag.  
  
Joker is...Joker. Bruce is almost positive Joker is going to end up living out his days in Arkham. He’s refused any psychiatrists and psychologists (though, Bruce only offered halfheartedly, to be fair). He spends most of his days finding increasingly worrisome ways to escape his cell. Bruce drives himself insane trying to figure out how the fuck the man keeps doing it. At some point, Bruce came in early and found him in Karlo’s cell, the two chatting together as if nothing was wrong. Bruce knows he’s doing it to mess with Bruce but still.  
  
Langstrom’s wing fully heals and he’s eager to start both his physical therapy and regular therapy. He’s the easiest to talk to when it comes to those matters. Langstrom is motivated to go home to his wife and kid, and Bruce is happy to work along with him. He listens to the man babble all things science as they attempt to reverse his condition together.  
  
Arkham itself is around six or five months from being completely redone. Bruce works with Jim and Bullock closely when it comes to finding potential new staff members. Extensive background checks on both the Batcomputer and regular computers are performed. Bruce tries not to let anything get by him as he scopes out trustworthy people. He already knows Dr. Kline will be working there but it's a long way to go.  
  
He tries his best to call his kids in between all of his daytime work, Bud and Lou, and patrolling as Batman. Damian and Jon are still out in university together, living in a shared apartment and doing some clean up in the other cities.  
  
Jason is off in California doing _something_. Bruce never actually got the details but the man had jumped at the chance to head off somewhere else to, presumably, enjoy the sunshine and freedom. Tim had left for some big road trip and was currently settled in North Dakota for the moment.  
  
Barbara had headed to Florida for university while Dick settled in Bludhaven. They were apparently still in a relationship, visiting one another for any holidays that came up. Cass had made her new home in Oregon. Alfred was now traveling the rest of Europe, sending Bruce and the kids the pictures he takes along the way.  
  
So, Bruce is feeling good about everything. Of course, that’s when his worlds collide. That's when the old Wayne luck kicks in.  
  
Go figure.  
  


* * *

  


“Jim,” Bruce sings as he swings Jim’s office door open, “I have a favor to ask you!”  
  
Jim rolls his eyes and groans at the words Bruce greets him with. “Whatever it is I’m saying no, Bruce.” Bruce sends him a hurt expression but it doesn’t work on the man at all. Bruce then sighs and seats himself on Jim’s desk with an excited air about him.  
  
“Hear me out, okay; the Arkham patients have been really, really good. Like, insanely good. No breakouts aside from Joker’s little shenanigans, right?”  
  
Jim eyes him warily and nods along. Bruce beams and says, “How about a bit of time outside? They’ve been stuck in there since I was hurt. I think a little sun couldn’t hurt, don’t you?” Jim raises an eyebrow.  
  
“Don’t most of them spend the afternoons outside?”  
  
“Well,” Bruce pauses, “yeah, but I meant a field trip outside of the jail. Like...to my house,”  
  
“That’s the worst fucking idea you’ve had in your life, Bruce, and you’ve done some dumb things.”  
  
Bruce rolls his eyes. “Jim, _please_. They’re dying for something fun, okay? Something to lift their spirits a bit and give them something to look forward to while they work on therapy!” Bruce pleads.  
  
Jim squints at him suspiciously. The man’s lips curl up into a teasing smirk. “This just an excuse to get your partners into your bed? I can’t believe Bruce Wayne, Batman himself, is using-”  
  
“ _Jim!_ ”  
  
Jim bursts into laughter at Bruce’s scandalized expression. Bruce grumbles at the noise and mutters, “I need better friends. Ones who won’t make _slanderous_ remarks about me to my own face-I could sue you for that!” Jim only laughs harder at the words and Bruce snickers to himself. Once the moment passes, Jim leans back and sighs.  
  
“I’ll authorize it. You got somethin’ planned for them for real?”  
  
Bruce nods. “Little bit of a party, you know? Something to get their spirits up.”  
  
“Alright. Get out of my office. Make sure you invite me, too. I’ve got to make it look like I’m being at least a bit professional about this.”  
  
Bruce salutes lazily and hops off his desk. “Thanks, Jim! Hopefully Gotham will still have a commissioner if this hits the papers!”  
  
“Fuck off, Bruce. I’m the only goddamn one crazy enough to work with you. They can’t hire anyone else!”  
  
Bruce cackles at the words.  
  
Jim’s not wrong. Anyone else would refuse to work with either Bruce or Batman. Maybe both, honestly. Bruce waves his thoughts aside and instead pulls his phone from his pocket, scrolling through his contacts.  
  
Once the recipient picks up, Bruce says cheerfully, “Selina, darling, light of my life; how would you like to plan a party with me? It’s for the Arkham patients. Just got it all sorted with Commissioner Gordon!”  
  
“Brucie, baby, you had me at the word ‘party’.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruce: uwu  
> jim: i will literally kill you shut the fuck up himbo  
> (that is literally their relationship dynamic why they're bruce and jim, not batman and commissioner gordon)
> 
> anything i know about DID is from a youtuber who has it and quick research because i wasn't positive how it forms. i wanted to touch upon it a little bit but i've heard the way they portray two-face with it isn't the most accurate so i tried to keep it simple and quick because im very uninformed and would like to be respectful. if anyone can give me advice or information about writing characters with it that'd be fantastic! i did learn more about it but if you see something that's off or iffy about the scene please let me know! i want to write this right in this story AND in future stories that harvey will be in!
> 
> secondly; we're almost to the reveal guys :) Batfam will be returning home soon to visit their batdad!
> 
> third; follow my twitter for some art and random thoughts and possibly hints about future fics. @ is in my profile 
> 
> as always i hope you enjoyed this chapter and i'll see u guys next time :)


	10. Party Time!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce throws a party and it's crashed by his family almost immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly a little disappointed at this chapter unfortunately lmao I wrestled with parts of it a little but here it is! 
> 
> The story isn't quite over yet, though! There's still a few things that will be happening, so it'll be about two more chapters?
> 
> Edit: This is not an update (sorry y'all lmao) but I drew art for this because I'm trying to practice. If ur interested it's here: https://twitter.com/OrionLLoptr/status/1340370399415119879/photo/1

Bruce is elated that he gets this chance. He makes a mental note to head home early today to begin prepping the house for visitors. The pool would need to be adjusted for Waylon, so he also has to make a few calls. Bruce pushes those thoughts aside for the moment as he spots where Selina waits at the corner.  
  
"Selina!" he calls with a little wave. The woman looks up and peers at him over her sunglasses. A smirk curls on her red lips as Bruce approaches her with an excited expression. Bruce reaches her and pulls her in by the waist. Selina tips her head expectantly and Bruce kisses her gently, mindful of her lipstick.  
  
Selina pulls away with a fond look and murmurs, "I heard we're throwing a party?"  
  
"Mhm. Jim said I could, so I'm going to have the Arkham folks be driven out to the manor where they'll spend the night and head back sometime tomorrow. Jim will be there too, apparently."  
  
Selina's eyes spark with interest. "Let's see what we can get ready in this time, yes? We're making use of your giant jacuzzi, yes?" At Bruce's hum of confirmation, Selina looks even more excited. "Good, I love that thing. I'll buy the girls some bathing suits since I'm pretty sure Harley and I are the same size," she says as they push through a clothing shop's doors.  
  
"Fantastic. I need to get the pool's water replaced for Waylon, so I'll catch up in a minute after I make the calls," Bruce explains. Selina nods and strides forward with a buzzing energy about her. She even has a bounce in her step as she makes her way further from where Bruce stands.  
  
Once he finishes his calls, Bruce joins her. It's, admittedly, fun. They browse through swimwear and other clothes neither of them could turn away from. Selina has to pull him to the cashier's counter before he can start buying gag gifts for Jim or his kids.  
  
As soon as they leave the store, though, Bruce has a wonderfully horrible idea.  
  
"You think Jim would kill me if we got them some of that good alcohol?"  
  
Selina's eyes brighten and she hooks her free arm that doesn't have bags on it through Bruce's own. "Not if you get him his favorite whiskey," she tells him. Bruce beams at her and they move back to where his car is parked down the street. Is it all a bad idea? Probably. Are they going to have fun anyways? Fuck yes.  
  


* * *

  
Bruce waves at the guards as he pushes through the doors. They eye him familiarly and one woman waves back with a cheerful smile. Bruce continues on and knocks on the nearest cell door, which is Ivy's. She gives him an irritated glare but Bruce only grins at her.  
  
"I have good news, everyone; you're going on an authorized little vacation to Wayne Manor for being such well behaved citizens," Bruce calls. There's a moment of silence before Harley's excited shriek echoes around the room.  
  
"Really? Like, really, Mr. Moneybags Wayne?! I get ta see my babies again?!" she yells. Bruce chuckles and nods. Harley makes another noise and she's suddenly pressing against the door. "You're the bestest, sir! Oh, I can't wait to see 'em again!"  
  
"A party?! Is it for me? Will there be alcohol? Parties are so boring if they don't have something strong to get it going," Joker calls.  
  
"Ye-" Bruce cuts off when a few guards glance at him, " _no_. No alcohol at all. Just a...small get together."  
  
Joker grins widely at him at the words. Eddie knocks on his cell door. "Can Ozzy come too? I'm not sitting through Harley and Ivy making out without him."  
  
"Hey! You and Oz are just as bad-"  
  
"Oh _please_ , Ivy. You and Harley are lip locked half the time we've ever worked together!"  
  
Ivy rolls her eyes from where she lounges on her bed and bares her teeth at Eddie. It's clear she can't dispute that claim but she doesn't like that at all. "You know, Eds," Ivy drawls, "every time you speak I get the urge to strangle you with a vine."  
  
Eddie cackles and purrs, "And whenever I see your face I want to stab you. Your point?"  
  
Bruce waves his hands before Ivy can continue. "Look; tomorrow night you're all being moved to the manor. Commissioner Gordon will be there as well to keep an eye on us. Anyone interested should make sure they're ready to go by then."  
  
There are a few more excited murmurs and Bruce nods in satisfaction. Then, Fries asks, "What will I be doing? I still have no suit in here, you know."  
  
"You'll get your suit, don't worry. I have everything covered."  
  
Harvey looks half asleep where he lays but Bruce can spot the excitement on his face. Pleased with that, Bruce answers a few more questions before he walks past them with a wave of farewell. He heads through the door and makes his way down the stairs, coming out through the second door. Then, he looks to Bane's cell.  
  
The man is pacing restlessly. Bruce sighs and approaches carefully until he's standing before the large man on the other side of the door.  
  
"Bane," Bruce greets, "how would you like to come to the best party you'll ever attend in your life?"  
  
Bane's eyebrows shoot up. "What nonsense are you speaking, Wayne?"  
  
"Well, since you've all been good Commissioner Gordon has agreed to authorize a little trip to Wayne Manor. We're having a party and you're invited. So; coming or not?"  
  
Bane looks baffled and Bruce is delighted he can put that expression on the man's face. "Why...invite me?"  
  
Bruce shrugs. "You've been cooperating relatively well. All of you need a bit of a break from here. Have some fun and live a little," he cajoles. Bane looks vaguely troubled and Bruce hopes he didn't just break the man via an invitation to a fucking _party_.  
  
Finally, after rather awkward silence, Bane nods sharply once. Bruce nods in response and that's that.  
  
Maybe Bane isn't so bad, really.  
  
Bruce knocks on one side of Waylon's tank. It takes a moment but soon the man is blinking at him tiredly, seemingly just coming from a nap. He hopes he didn't actually just wake him up from some good sleep as he, unfortunately, had a tendency to bite or snarl when he was annoyed.  
  
"You hear everything?" Bruce asks and the man nods jerkily once. Damn, it really did seem like he woke him. Bruce gives him an apologetic smile and Waylon merely parts his jaws restlessly. "Make sure you don't cause any incidents in the meantime, alright? I can't take you if you suddenly get the urge to take someone's hand off."  
  
Waylon salutes lazily and Bruce lets him go back into the depths of his tank, body disappearing in the dark water. Bruce turns on his heel cheerfully and waves at the guards, eyes bright with amusement at the wary looks they send him. Being feared here as regular Bruce Wayne will never fail to amuse him.  
  


* * *

  
"I still think this is stupid as hell, Bruce," Jim says as he steps through the door. Bruce grins widely at the man and pulls him into a tight hug.  
  
"Well, luckily for you I think it's a great idea.”  
  
Jim rolls his eyes but hugs Bruce back easily. “Of course you would. I heard from Harley that there’ll be liquor?” he says and eyes Bruce pointedly. Bruce shakes off the embrace and gives him a beaming smile.  
  
“Jim, the best Commissioner in the city-”  
  
“The _only_ fucking Commissioner you know," Jim emphasizes. Bruce just shrugs and throws an arm around the man's shoulders.  
  
He says, voice lazy with amusement and contentment, "I might know more; you never know," as they make their way to where the party is finally beginning to ramp up. Bruce opens the sliding glass door and peeks through with a tiny smile.  
  
Harley is shrieking the lyrics of the song on the radio that Joker is controlling, clad in a ruffled, strapless pink bikini. She's up in the air and standing on a bright blue flower that is lifting high out of the pool. Ivy lays on her own much smaller flower in the pool, fingers submerged in the water. She's dressed in a black one piece bathing suit that Bruce vaguely remembers Selina trying on.  
  
"Jesus, Bruce," Jim groans and Bruce turns to where he's looking and breaks out into laughter. Cobblepot is hanging around in the jacuzzi. Nygma is in his lap, vigorously making out with the man. Bruce does notice, however, the shiny new ring on the man's finger.  
  
Bruce slaps Jim on the chest gently and tells him, "Hey, lay off them. Apparently Cobblepot just proposed."  
  
Jim's eyebrows shoot up. "About time those two got it together. I've been waiting for Nygma to propose through some big, elaborate scheme with me as the hostage," Jim admits. Bruce snickers because that's _absolutely_ how Nygma would propose. Through a long scavenger hunt of questions and puzzles, and at the end have Jim or Batman with a ring as the prize.  
  
Langstrom and Fries are, not surprisingly, together at the edge of the pool. Fries is laying on a pool chair with his suit around his body. Langstrom is perched near him in much nicer purple shorts, eyes bright as he chatters at the man, a glass of whiskey in his hand. Bruce snorts in amusement at the delighted look Fries wears underneath his helmet. He's not exactly sure what they could possibly be talking about in the moment, maybe some science babble, but he's glad they're enjoying their time together.  
  
Harvey is in the middle of the pool on Waylon's shoulders while Selina is balancing on Bane's. They're pushing, and shoving, and wrestling with one another. They're both wobbling because of the way Waylon and Bane shove at each other with playful gleams in their eyes.  
  
Karlo is scritching at Bud's face, a grin on the man's lip. Lou whines and paws at his shorts until the man turns his attention to the other hyena. Then, Bud will begin chewing at Karlo's sandals until he turns back to Bud. The process begins again and it's clear they're having fun.  
  
Harvey looks up after shoving Selina down into the pool finally. His eyes light up and he beams, waving. "Jim! Brucie! Come on in; the water's great!"  
  
Bruce laughs and begins to unbutton his shirt. Jim is quick to ditch his overcoat and shoes. "Last one in has to do the paperwork!" Jim calls while he works on his slacks. Bruce curses and struggles to untie his tie, rushing after the older man.  
  
"That's not fucking fair! You cheater!" Bruce shouts, throwing his tie behind him as he throws himself in after Jim. Bruce is relieved he had the foresight to keep his trunks on underneath his pants but he thinks it's unfair Jim decided to do so as well.  
  
Bruce sputters a few times and clears his eyes of the water. Jim slams his hands down on the surface of the water and Bruce yelps, covering his face at the last minute. A splash of water sprays him and Bruce glares.  
  
"It's _so on_ ," Bruce declares and cups his hand to skim over the water quickly. A little wave hits the commissioner and Jim grins at him wildly. They move around the pool, splashing and kicking water at each other like kids. It feels good to just be able to relax like this under the moon. Ivy eyes them with a mixture of exasperation and amusement, their splashing sending her flower floating quicker around the pool.  
  
They drink, and sing, and chase each other around the pool. Bruce climbs out at some point to leave Jim to Harley and Eddie's tender care, the man having long left the jacuzzi in favor of hanging around in the pool. Cobblepot is chasing after Joker with Karlo and Bane, old water guns in their hands. Joker shrieks when he gets clotheslined by Bane and tossed into the pool, Harley giggling wildly at the sight. That is, until Langstrom picks her up delicately and drops her back into the pool. She had immediately declared war on them both and chased after the man on a trail of flowers Ivy grew underneath her feet in an attempt to reach the man.  
  
Bruce then breaks out two more bottles of whiskey and champagne. Jim drinks it down with a laugh as Joker throws an arm around his shoulders, the two of them clinking their glasses together. Bane holds Harley on one shoulder and Fries on the other as they take a refill.  
  
"Open wide, Brucie baby!" Selina shouts, cheeks flushed, as she pops the cork of the champagne. Bruce opens his mouth with a grin as Harvey and Selina tip two bottles of his most expensive champagne over his mouth.  
  
He misses nearly all of it. Most of it spills down his chin and chest. Selina laughs and brings the bottle to her own lips. She takes it away and wraps an arm around his shoulders, pulling their bodies flush together to kiss him fervently. Bruce hums at the taste of the champagne, the mouthful she kept flooding his own mouth. Bruce swallows it down and kisses her again, his hands settling on her hips.  
  
"I don't know if that's hot or fucking disgusting," Harvey comments as he takes his own swig of the bottle. Bruce pulls away and slinks closer with a little smirk.  
  
He murmurs, "Let's find out, shall we?"  
  
Harvey hands off the bottle to Selina and leans up to press a searing kiss to Bruce's lips. The scarring on his lips has a rather odd texture but Bruce still can't find it within himself to mind. Harvey tips his head and passes along the champagne mouthful, Bruce accepting it easily.  
  
They pull back from each other at about the same time and Harvey opens his mouth as if he's about to speak when there's a rather scandalized noise from behind him. Bruce is genuinely hoping Cobblepot and Nygma aren't actually going at it in the jacuzzi or something equally horrifying when he then hears:  
  
" _Father?!_ "  
  
Bruce freezes, eyes wide. Harvey's mouth drops open in surprise as he looks behind Bruce to where he knows the glass door is. Selina and Bruce meet eyes for a moment before Bruce turns around and immediately grimaces.  
  
They're standing _right_ there.  
  
Alfred is at the front, coat and bag in his hands. His mouth is parted in disbelief as he looks at the scene before him. Jason looks vaguely horrified where he's trying to take in what the hell is happening while Tim is gaping unashamedly. Dick looks the most concerned out of all of them and mainly scandalized, cheeks reddening the more he stares. Damian, on the other hand, looks _furious_ and like he wants to immediately fight whoever he can get his hands on first. Barbara's eyes flit around before they immediately lock on where Jim is lifting himself from the pool with Langstrom's help.  
  
" _Dad_?!" she shrieks, hand covering her mouth. Jim tips back into the pool in what seems to be surprise, dragging a yelping Langstrom in with him.  
  
The man resurfaces and meets Barbara's eyes. "It was Bruce's idea! I was an unwilling-"  
  
Bruce points at the man furiously at the words. "Hey, don't pin this all on me! You're the one who wanted to chaperone us!"  
  
"That is a _lie_ -"  
  
"You fucking _bastard_ -"  
  
"Pops what the fuck is going on here?! Are you-why are they- _what the hell_?!"  
  
Joker giggles from where he's stuck in a headlock courtesy of Waylon. "Ain't this a tad awkward, huh? Bit of a _batty_ situat- _ack_ -" Waylon's grip tightens and the man flails. Bruce grits his teeth and pushes away the urge to immediately go smack the man. Instead, he turns to the group in the doorway.  
  
"I can explain," Bruce starts but Tim sputters in a cross between laughter and a scoff.  
  
"Explain why you have _literal criminals_ in the backyard?!" he shouts, voice shrill. Bruce rolls his eyes because he's beginning to think they're overreacting now. So he had a few criminals in his backyard so what? They were all working on the whole 'criminal' aspect as well.  
  
Selina pats him on the arm. "Good luck, Brucie. We're gonna go see if we can get Ives to make us some margaritas or something while you talk to your kids."  
  
"Traitor," Bruce grumbles but the woman only presses a swift kiss to his cheek and hooks her arm around Harvey's own. They walk around the pool to where Ivy is chatting with Fries eagerly, both of them looking captured by each other's words. More science stuff, probably.  
  
Bruce approaches them with a little sigh. "Alright. Let's get inside while I explain." They relent easily enough (and Bruce is thanking every higher power out there that none of them try to start a fight) and head just past the glass door.  
  
"Alright, dad; start talking." Dick demands, arms crossed over his chest. Bruce grimaces when he ruffles his hair and his fingers come away sticky with the stray champagne.  
  
"In the beginning I was just keeping to myself," Bruce says but Barbara points at him.  
  
She says, "That's bullshit. You never mind your own business."  
  
Bruce glares at her. "That's a dirty lie, Babs. Anyway, I was mainly keeping to myself but Jim came to me and told me about Jeremiah Arkham being investigated. We checked out Arkham together with a couple of officers and it was...not good. Jeremiah was taken into custody and Arkham was in limbo for a few days before I...bought it."  
  
Alfred's eyes narrow. "I'm sorry, Master Bruce, my ears must have failed me in my old age because I could have sworn you said that you _bought_ Arkham Asylum," Alfred says, voice tinged with incredulousness.  
  
Bruce gives a nervous laugh. "No, no, you heard me right, Al. I bought Arkham. It's currently being fixed up completely. Patients are at Blackgate until things are finished..."  
  
Damian scowls. "Great, wonderful. Who's fucking stupid idea was that?"  
  
"Now wait a minute-"  
  
"Let's talk about why the hell they're here? If they're supposed to be in Blackgate then why are they in our backyard?" Tim questions, eyes narrowed.  
  
Bruce winces. "They...needed a break. Everyone was doing rather well and actually putting in effort in therapy. I figured they needed some time away from the jail. And, hey, it seems to be working for them," Bruce says quietly, glancing back to where the others run around the pool edge. Fries shouts and pushes Langstrom into the pool, which drags Harley and Karlo in with him. Karlo shouts furiously and struggles to get out of the water while Harley begins to pop out in an attempt to grab Fries and pull him in as well.  
  
"They're really getting therapy?" Dick asks in surprise, eyebrows shooting up. Bruce nods with a pleased expression.  
  
"I think Harley is the most excited about it, really. She's been hoping to get out of there and open up a little shop with Pamela in the next few years."  
  
Jason shakes his head in disbelief. "This is crazy. Pops do you hear yourself? I-I mean hasn't Quinn tried a million times with the psychiatrists and ended up attacking most of them anyway?!"  
  
Bruce shakes his head. "The staff in there was fucked. I knew it was corrupted but I didn't realize just how bad it was. Harley's psychiatrists were...bad. With the shit they pulled I'm surprised Harley didn't kill some of them."  
  
Damian's jaw clenches and he still looks angry. "We came here because we thought 'hm, father must be lonely since he's been alone for so long and doesn't have any friends' and decided to visit. Apparently you were rather busy without telling us a single thing," he grumbles.  
  
"Hey, I was going to tell you soon! And I do have friends!" Bruce argues.  
  
Alfred clears his throat. "Unfortunately, Master Bruce, I'm going to have to quote Miss Barbara this time; bullshit."  
  
Bruce gasps. "Alfred!"  
  
"Not a single member of this family knows how to communicate properly. I confess I find myself very troubled about all of this as well, Master Bruce. Why do all of this? I know it was not that you were lonely."  
  
Bruce shrugs and crosses his arms over his chest, feeling awkward now. Vulnerability is hard but Bruce still tries to convey his thought process regardless. "Who else would?" he murmurs. "Nobody else would be able to help them. I know them. I know Joker, even if he is rather docile at the moment, like I know myself. I know them and I know what they need and how to get it for them. Why shouldn't I help?"  
  
There's quiet for a few moments until Tim claps once. "Okay, that was unusually thoughtful of you, dad," Tim says, "but I really, really have to ask; what the _hell_ is going on between you and Dent? Because I don't think I was hallucinating you making out with him."  
  
Bruce's face floods with heat. "You-ah-you saw that?"  
  
"Saw it?! Bruce, I think I'll see it in my nightmares!" Barbara cries out. Bruce can't help but bury his face in his hands.  
  
Damian smirks cruelly and drawls, "Tsk, tsk, father."  
  
" _Shut up-_ "  
  
Jason cackles. "All these years, pops, you've been preachin' I shouldn't get all wild and drunk at the galas and parties when in reality-"  
  
"-you evil children-"  
  
"You're the worst out of all of all of us!" Dick crows in delight.  
  
Bruce can't help but laugh into his hands. Alfred approaches him and rests one hand on his shoulder. Bruce looks up, eyes bright and relieved at the soft expression on the man's face.  
  
Alfred murmurs, "I'm proud of you, Bruce. I don't know what inspired you to take on a project filled with such madness but...if you're able to trust them all enough to bring them here I supposed I shall set aside my judgements. I trust you, Bruce."  
  
And at that Bruce wants to cry. "Thank you, Al. I promise they really are trying," he whispers. Alfred nods serenely and squeezes his shoulder before stepping back.  
  
"However, I, too, would like to inquire on your relationship with Mr. Dent."  
  
" _Al_!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruce: no i will not be giving criminals alcohol what thats ridiculous  
> bruce immediately at the party: lets get fucking WASTED yall
> 
> Cass isn't in this scene for a reason! I realized I don't write her enough so I'm giving her a little scene with Bruce next chapter. She's just running a little late that's all :)
> 
> i debated on whether or not to put steph and duke in here but i realized im kind of shit writing them so ill probably post a fic eventually with them in it once i practice writing them more
> 
> but uh i made art for this chapter but it won't be up until probably this weekend because i need to color a few of them. they'll be posted on my twitter and insta either saturday or sunday. it's not great but it its what it is ig
> 
> im kinda stressed about school and not feeling too great altogether so im really sorry if any of that translates into this chapter. i hope it came out funny because i did enjoy writing this chapter even if it wasn't my best lol
> 
> other than that i have a jon/damian fic coming out later this week prolly and then sometime next week another ivy/pamela fic but it's a high school au because why wouldn't i???? i have a dick/barbara fic sitting half finished in my drafts for months so u might see that too idk yet
> 
> but as always i hope you enjoyed this chapter! might touch up on it later but otherwise ill see yall whenever i post next. love u all sm ur support means the literal world to me <3


	11. The Gala

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce decides to throw a gala because why not???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so late lol
> 
> ive been working on fics for other fandoms (which i think will be posted today if ur interested) and this fic is almost done!! i think there's only one more chapter of this bad boy and it's done. it's been SO much fun and the support u guys have given me has been absolutely insane so thank you so much :)

The party winds down slowly. They all stay the night until Jim is sober enough to bring them back to Blackgate the next morning. Bruce is delighted at the chance to keep Selina and Harvey with him overnight although both of them are gone the next morning. It's disappointing but his kids being home makes up for it a bit.  
  
Bruce readies himself for the day, showering and brushing his teeth before heading downstairs. He enters the kitchen and grins when he sees Cass at the table with a cup of coffee and looking sleepy.  
  
She perks up slightly when she sees him. "Father," she greets warmly, holding out an arm. Bruce leans down and wraps an arm around her shoulders, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.  
  
"Cassie," he says softly, heart about to burst with love. The woman tips her head and presses a kiss on his cheek and leans back. "How are you doing?" Bruce asks while he heads away and stops in front of the counter. He takes a moment to pull out a mug and pour himself a cup of coffee while Cass speaks.  
  
"Good. Heard you had-had a party last night...?"  
  
Bruce groans and turns to take a seat at the table next to his daughter. "How much did you hear from the others?"  
  
"Everything," Cass says with a sly smirk on her lips, amusement dancing in her eyes. Bruce avoids answering for a few seconds by sipping from his cup of coffee. Cass watches him and waits patiently. Bruce knows there's no winning with her and his shoulders slump.  
  
He asks, "Are you angry with me too?" Bruce knows the others are probably still going to be annoyed with him and everything he's done but he can't bring himself to regret it. He's actually doing something, making a big difference.  
  
Cass shakes her head and sips from her coffee quietly. Then, she meets Bruce's eyes. "No. You make your own choices. I trust you to-to know what you're doing. You always have."  
  
"That's...not what the others thought. I just...wanted to do something good without my usual methods."  
  
The woman rests her chin on her palm. "I know. And I ad-admire you for it. You're doing good, father. City is al-already quieter. You're... _happier_. And I love that.”  
  
Bruce feels himself melting and he reaches over to pull her chair closer. Then, he throws an arm around the woman's shoulders and pulls her close, pressing another kiss to the top of her head this time. "Thank you. This is why you're my favorite," he murmurs.  
  
Cass laughs and grins at him cheekily. "Can I tell the boys that or is this a secret between us?"  
  
"Tell us what?" Tim asks as he makes his way into the kitchen tiredly. Jason is behind him with Damian hanging on his back still asleep. Dick is guiding them through the door, followed closely by Alfred.  
  
Cass sneers at Tim playfully. "That I'm father's favorite kid," she boasts. Tim glares at Bruce and Damian looks up at them drowsily with his lips twisted downward in a lazy scowl.  
  
"That's not fair, father!" he complains. There are various complaints all around the room and Bruce sighs fondly at the group as they all begin to get ready for their day. Jason fills up his mug then passes another mug to Damian, who mumbles gratefully. Dick is cross legged on the table with a plate in his lap, fingers snagging the bacon first to drop in his mouth. Tim is now arguing with Cass, the two of them beginning to wrestle playfully even while Cass sits in her chair. Alfred passes out the plates in comfortable silence, Cass almost finished with hers already since she was the first one up besides Alfred.  
  
Bruce feels truly content for the first time in a long time as he watches his kids begin to shout over each other about something (Bruce really isn’t sure because at some point he has to tune them out). Regardless, they’re together and it feels wonderful.  
  


* * *

  
The idea hits him while he’s in the middle of a meeting. It’s just stuffy men and women attempting to be the bigger kiss ass in an attempt to get Bruce to invest in their company. Unfortunately for them, Bruce always combs over his partnerships with a fine tooth comb and none of them passed. Bruce may have that playboy, ditzy image but everyone knows he does have _some_ standards.  
  
He holds up his hand and digs out his phone. “Hold that thought, would you?” he says with a winning smile at the women currently droning on. She freezes and Bruce doesn’t bother to see the reactions of the others. Instead, he gets up from his seat and leaves the meeting room while he waits for Jim to pick up.  
  
“Bruce? I’m in the middle of working a case. Can it wait?” the man’s voice comes through clearly and Bruce rolls his eyes.  
  
He says, “I have an idea.”  
  
“May God help us all,” Jim groans and Bruce immediately scowls.  
  
“Fuck off, Jim. I’m going to throw a gala and I’m gonna need to borrow Harvey that night. Also, you’re invited.”  
  
Jim’s quiet for a few seconds before he lets out a breath. “Bruce,” he says softly, “I love you dearly but I’m not about to attend something that has that many rich bastards throwing themselves at us so they don’t get their fuckin’ name dragged through the mud when I inevitably find out they’re involved in some illegal scheme. There’s _no way_ -”  
  
Bruce smirks and sings, “If you don’t show up I’m going to tell Barbara about the trip to Florida,”  
  
“I fuckin’ hate you,” Jim growls.  
  
Bruce laughs when the man immediately hangs up after speaking. The Florida Incident was one of the best stories about Jim Gordon that Bruce knew. They’d both gone down to Florida for some sunshine and a short vacation while the kids and everyone else took care of Gotham in their place. Things had been a mess the minute they touched down. Someone had pulled them over and attempted to arrest them while pretending to be an officer. Jim, of course, showed them his badge and the person immediately brought out friends, so Jim jumped in to brawl with them in a ‘moment of passion’ as the man phrases it. Bruce will never get the image of Jim attempting to fight off a group of grown men in those stupid sumo wrestler costumes out of his head. The full story was hilarious even to this day but Jim had sworn him to secrecy.  
  
With that settled, Bruce decides to skip out on his meeting. He had more important things to do at the moment. Like planning a gala.  
  
He makes another call to Alfred with a tiny smile. “Hey Al,” he chirps, “I’ve got an amazing idea.”  
  
“Oh, dear.”  
  
"I haven't even said anything!"  
  


* * *

  
Preparing the gala takes a full three weeks. Selina takes the girls and Harvey shopping. Jim goes with them, of course, but the entire group knows Harvey and Two-Face won’t be causing any trouble on one of his only trips out of Blackgate. The public doesn’t know that, unfortunately, so Jim goes with them.  
  
Bruce takes the boys out to shop as well while Alfred makes arrangements with the caterer and event planner. Damian grimaces at his tuxedo but it’s Jason that cajoles Damian into agreeing to wear it for Jon (who hasn’t flown out yet but promises to be there for the gala). Dick looks comfortable in his, stretching his arms over his head while Tim tugs at the tie uncomfortably. Bruce, however, buys himself a dress. It immediately sets Dick off.  
  
“That’s not fair, Bruce! You didn’t tell me I could get one!” he complains as he looks where Bruce checks the fit. It’s a little tight but Bruce likes it.  
  
He then meets Dick’s eyes and says, “Call Selina. She’ll get you something to coordinate with Barbara.”  
  
Dick fist pumps and rushes over to their bags to dig out his phone. Damian rolls his eyes but begins to wriggle out of his suit.  
  
The invitations go out within the first two days of their preparation. Bruce tries to help in any way he can and drags his kids in on it as well. They clean out the ballroom together with music blaring. Bruce manages to recruit Harley and Langstrom into helping. Dick has Harley stand on his shoulders while she cleans off some of the higher windows, singing out of key to whatever is on the radio. Langstrom is able to reach the ceiling with ease and even helps move tables into the room with Jon, who does end up returning early after pleading from the family. Bruce is delighted when Lois and Clark promise to come down as well.  
  
Alfred watches them with fond smiles while Harley, Damian, and Dick try to see who can complete the most back flips while they take a break from the work. Bruce would love to join in but he knows when he’s beat. His kids can blow him out of the water in areas like this, and he already knows Harley is a champion when it comes to acrobatics.  
  
Damian’s attempt to show off is sabotaged by Tim, Cass, and Jon, who snag him in the middle of it just to hear his shrieks of protest. Dick almost manages to beat her but ends up laughing too hard at the situation and tipping into Harley. Both of them end up on the floor, cackling even as they lay there.  
  
They continue their cleaning into the other rooms. Alfred and Cass manage to get the most done out of all of them, used to the work or simply well organized. The rest of them end up getting distracted half the time. Bruce and Harley race down the hallways in their socks, wiping out each time at the end with Langstrom watching them in exasperation. Tim spends some of the time competing with Jason on who can clean something the fastest which always ends in arguments and furious wrestling. Damian and Jon always manage to disappear and reappear hours later (Bruce doesn’t want to know the details ever). Dick and Barbara make a great duo, moving around each other efficiently to get a room clean rather fast.  
  
It’s probably the most fun Bruce has ever had planning a gala. Granted, he doesn’t do much of the planning but it’s still fun. They celebrate the night before the gala with everyone on the streets sans Jon. Damian whoops as he gets to throw himself off the buildings, katanas sparking wickedly off the brick building near a criminal’s head.  
  
Jason follows closely behind Damian, the two of them using each other to get in clean shots at whoever they need to. Barbara is the next down and she takes someone down with a sharp kick to the head. Cass is much quicker than the others and winds her arm around someone’s throat. Bruce is impressed with the way they all work as he watches Dick slam someone’s head into the wall before they can escape. Tim and Cass are chasing a group of men and women down, Tim’s delighted laughter echoing around the alleyways.  
  
“I think you trained them a little too well,” Selina comments from where Bruce is watching from the roof. Bruce laughs but he can’t really disagree.  
  
“They’re having fun, though. First time in a long time I’ve seen Cass that excited.”  
  
Selina shakes her head and presses a kiss to his cheek. “Your family is _weird_ , Bats,” the woman says, fingers straying to her belt. They wrap around her whip and she flicks her wrist, the end of it snapping against the building’s roof.  
  
Bruce presses a kiss to her cheek and tells her, “Ah, ah; don’t forget you’re included in this family, darling.”  
  
Selina sneers at him but there’s joy dancing in her eyes. “I regret it with every bone in my body,” the woman lies and leaps off the roof neatly. Bruce laughs and follows her down, wind rushing past him while he falls.  
  
It really is a nice night overall.  
  


* * *

  
The next night, however, is filled with frantic movement. Bruce is doing his best to get his make up even to hide away the bruise on his cheek (someone had gotten in a lucky hit). Damian is standing in the middle of the room with Jon retying his tie for what seems to be the third time. Barbara is finishing Cass’ braids while Jason struggles to find his other shoe.  
  
“This is fuckin' _stupid_! Did someone steal my shoe?! My only good shoe?!” Jason shouts in frustration and Tim glares from where he’s standing in front of the mirror.  
  
He snarls, “Nobody fucking stole your shoe, Jason! It’s probably underneath the bed, you idiot,”  
  
Jason looks as if he wants to go throw a punch at Tim but Selina glares at the two of them as she lets Harvey zip her baby blue gown properly, her own hands brushing down any wrinkles it may hold.  
  
“If you two don’t stop that I’m going to send the paparazzi your way when we get out there,” she says, pressing a kiss to Harvey’s cheek after her dress is secure. Bruce smooths down his own and admires the gown.  
  
It’s a purple ombre gown. The skirts are layered and decorated with lacy black ribbon. It’s well made, soft against his skin and the glittering jewels at the bottom of each skirt layer is meant to grab attention (or so Dick tells him. Bruce doesn’t have a single clue about gowns and dresses other than what looks good on him and what doesn’t). The matching shoes are uncomfortable but he can’t bring himself to take them off.  
  
Dick peers at himself in the mirror and shoots his reflection finger guns. “Damn, I look good,” he comments, glancing over the bright red dress. It’s shimmery and loud, probably more Jason’s style but Dick still works it like nobody else could. His hair is ruffled as always but he wears expensive ruby earrings that he most likely bought sometime this week with Bruce’s credit card. He knows they stole them sometime this week for a shopping spree.  
  
“Yes you do, Dick, but come on. We have to make our entrance,” Barbara says as she drapes herself along his back. She’s wearing a light pink, strapless dress to show off the gold necklace hanging around her neck. She’s miraculously almost the same size as Dick with how tall her heels are.  
  
Bruce curses when he checks the time and glances to where Jason is finally pulling on his dress shoe while Tim fixes his hair and tie one last time. Bruce holds out both of his arms and Selina latches onto one, dress brushing the ground slightly. Harvey takes the other with a little grin on his lips.  
  
They leave the room together to head into the ballroom, Bruce walks straight through the doors with a more neutral expression. He basks in the scandalized looks he gets from the more high class men and women around him. Selina smirks and breaks off from Bruce after a long kiss. Bruce plants a kiss to Harvey’s lips next and heads off to greet Jim who stands in the corner.  
  
“Jim!” he greets. He can’t help but laugh at the truly exasperated expression he wears as he pulls Bruce into a hug.  
  
Jim tells him, “You look good, Bruce, but please don’t tell me this was the only reason you threw this party.”  
  
Bruce snickers and shakes his head. “No, no. Babs convinced me of this so thank her; we’re splitting the money we get between the Arkham repairs and a charity of your choosing since I dragged you out to this.”  
  
Jim snatches two flutes of champagne from a passing waiter. Bruce takes one with a grateful nod and they turn to watch Dick glide into the room. He grins as the cameras flash and blows a kiss to the crowd. Barbara presses a kiss to his cheek and the reporters hurry towards them to get a better picture.  
  
Cass strides into the room, eyes dark and lips curled in a faux demure smile. Her hair is done up in a short crown braid while her dress, a navy blue gown that almost touches the ground, shines underneath the lights. It’s decorated with silver trimmings and ribbons that match her necklace.  
  
Damian and Jon waltz through the doors next in their matching tuxedos with Damian fitted under Jon’s arm. For a while Bruce was convinced Damian would miraculously remain taller thanks to Bruce’s genes but Jon had a sudden growth spurt and managed to get a full two inches on Damian. The short jokes still haven’t stopped. Damian glares at the cameras which is a stark contrast to Jon’s wide smile, all bright eyes and laughter.  
  
The last to enter are Tim and Jason. Jason shoves Tim through the door and Bruce sighs, covering his eyes for a moment after the two begin to push at each other as they make their way past the cameras. Those two would truly be the death of him.  
  
Bruce makes his speech not too long after and the gala gets into full swing. The hired help make their way around the room to offer refreshments of champagne and appetizers. Bruce chats up a few people he’s been eyeing for both his team to work in Arkham and for Wayne Enterprises. Jim and him dance together one point until he’s handed off to Harvey, then Selina.  
  
Bruce talks with a few reporters amicably. He’s riding high on the thought of Harvey and Selina being able to stay with him tonight again. It isn’t until one woman asks about his opinions on Batman that things go wrong. Before Bruce can even answer the question Jason pops up next to him along with Dick.  
  
“You’ve figured it all out too?” Jason asks and Bruce hopes the dread he feels doesn’t show on his face. It seems like it does, unfortunately, because the woman pounces on the bait.  
  
“Ah...figured it out?”  
  
Jason smirks and Bruce scrambles to stop his son. “Jason, please, do not do this to me. I swear to God-”  
  
Dick presses the back of his hand against his forehead. “Oh, _no_ , Bruce. You’ve kept this a secret for _far_ too long!”  
  
Bruce regrets every good thing he’s said about his kids. He hates them.  
  
“I will _kill you_ -”  
  
Jason turns to the reporters and says with a grin, “You wouldn’t believe all the effort my dad puts in. He’s always working all these long hours but he always works through the night, you know?”  
  
Bruce groans and hides his face in his hands. “Is this because I didn’t fucking tell you guys? Is this some kind of twisted revenge?”  
  
Dick lets out an offended gasp. “Listen, Bruce, I just think it’ll be good for you if you come clean. We all know that Batman is your lover,” Dick announces. The reporters seem to freeze before there are frantic questions being thrown at him. Bruce slaps both boys on the back of their heads, a scowl on his lips.  
  
“You’re both fuckin’ grounded, you know that?”  
  
Jason is too busy cackling to comment. A dainty hand brushes against his side and soon enough Selina is by his side. “Oh, is the secret finally out? That Bruce is shacking up with Batman?” she asks quietly and Bruce shoots her a betrayed look. “I couldn’t believe it when Bruce came to me one day asking me to be his girlfriend even though _Batman_ is his _husband_ ,” she continues.  
  
Bruce’s shoulders shake and he can’t help his snorting laughter. Jason is nearly on the floor with how hard he’s laughing and Dick has his face buried in Bruce’s shoulder.  
  
“Is-is this all true, Mr. Wayne?”  
  
He could deny it and the reporters would absolutely believe him. Unfortunately, he owes them for keeping the whole Arkham project a secret. So, Bruce clears his throat and lifts his face from his hands.  
  
“Un-unfortunately it’s all true. We married in secret just last year. How could I ever resist his-his big...strong...hands...?” Bruce fights not to laugh along with Jason. The reporters seem to be shocked into silence and he’s only saved by a waiter sidling up to him.  
  
The man murmurs, “There’s a man waiting for you in the sitting room. He told me to retrieve you, as he’s willing to invest a good sum of money on your Arkham project.”  
  
Bruce nods and smiles apologetically at the reporters. “Duty calls, unfortunately. Let’s pick this up later, shall we?”  
  
He makes a quick get away and leaves the three of them to chat to the reporters happily. He brushes off a few of the more stuffy guests and heads out of the ballroom. The man heads off down the hallways and Bruce pushes through the doors of the sitting room, shutting them behind himself.  
  
Immediately, there’s someone swiping at him with the golden candelabra that normally resides on the fireplace. Bruce’s forearm flies up instinctively and he blocks the hit. Before he can even move to flip the figure or even punch them there’s something sharp that finds its way in his neck. Bruce lashes out with his leg, sending them flying, and tugs out the item.  
  
A syringe.  
  
The implications aren’t great and Bruce tosses it to the side in hopes that someone will find it when he’s out. “Who the hell are you?” Bruce barks, picking up the candelabra from the ground. He approaches the figure that is now getting to their feet but he stumbles.  
  
He doesn’t know what the hell he’s been drugged with but it must be something strong because he’s already feeling the effects. He squints when his vision begins to blur, arms feeling heavy and numb. He only takes one more step forward until Bruce’s body collapses on the floor.  
  
Bruce’s last thoughts are only about how much shit his family is going to give him when they find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruce: i have an idea-  
> literally everyone: please god no
> 
> i have no excuse other than i decided earlier i wanted bruce to get kidnapped but also wanted him to wear a dress at some point to scandalize uptight bastards. so i combined them and was waiting to get this chapter out lmao i also figured that dick would also wear a dress because he knows hes hot asf so he'd wear one w bruce
> 
> also; can any of yall guess who kidnapped bruce?? like a million bonus points to whoever gets it right (and no its not crane)


	12. In Which Bruce Wayne is Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce is a damsel in distress (and a dress) but luckily he has people to come to his rescue :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> folks, this is it! the only thing left is the (rather short) epilogue!!! this has been such fun to write and all the support i've gotten means so much to me. you guys have been absolutely amazing and im glad y'all were here for this ride <3

Whoever designed whatever he was drugged with was going to get punched in the throat, Bruce decides as he struggles to open his eyes. His head is absolutely killing him, throbbing angrily as he squints to look around.  
  
Bruce instinctively tries to hold his poor, aching head but he finds his hands tied. It takes him a moment to notice he's tied down to the chair, rope biting into his exposed arms. His dress is partially wet and Bruce notices the rain pounding on what seems to be a warehouse's windows. He rotates his wrists a couple of times and wriggles in his binds to test them. Unfortunately, they seem rather tight.  
  
The sound of a door creaking open catches Bruce's attention and he glances over. A lanky, rather tall man approaches surrounded by vicious looking guards, each of them eyeing Bruce with clear malicious intentions.  
  
"Glad you've finally decided to join us, Mr. Wayne," a sneering voice says, echoing off the sparse walls. Bruce grimaces at the loud sound and looks upon his captor, unimpressed.  
  
"Jeremiah," he starts slowly, tongue feeling heavy in his mouth, "when'd you manage to escape and why didn't we hear about it?"  
  
Jeremiah Arkham smirks with his arms behind his back. Bruce wants to hit him right in his smug fucking face. "When you decided to gallivant around and flaunt off your wealth again with another useless gala, you gave me the perfect opportunity to escape. With no Jim Gordon to watch me like a goddamn hawk I was able to call in a few of my own to take care of everyone else."  
  
Bruce raises an eyebrow. "Am I supposed to be impressed? You immediately decided to use your newfound freedom to kidnap me and piss off everyone. It really won't be long before Jim drags your ass back, you know. And no amount of money or scheming will change that," he says.  
  
He expect the hit that comes next but fuck it still hurts. Bruce shakes his head in an attempt to get rid of the throbbing feeling in his nose, eyes watering despite him able to shake it off relatively quickly. Jeremiah looks furious and waves away the man that threw the punch for him.  
  
"I'm using my newfound freedom, Wayne, to kill you."  
  
Bruce pauses and furrows his eyebrows. "Did I do something that warrants being killed recently?"  
  
"Well, you-"  
  
Bruce ignores him and continues, "Because usually when I get kidnapped there's a pretty okay reason, you know? Passing over someone for a promotion, underfunding the plant preservation organizations-and let me tell you Dr. Isley was furious the last time that happened-closing down a few crime lords' favorite restaurants-"  
  
Jeremiah's face turns furious and he jerks his hand. Bruce steels himself for when the hit comes to his already throbbing nose. The man shakes out his head again at the pain and winces when he can already feel something leaking steadily from his nose. Another hit lands itself suddenly on his mouth and Bruce groans, body tensed. They'd better find him fast before he loses it and ends up breaking free himself.  
  
"You took my life's work away from me! You took everything I ever cared about, everything I worked for, and managed to seduce every goddamn criminal you crossed paths with to your side. It-it doesn't make sense!" Jeremiah shouts, feet stamping on the warehouse floor.  
  
Bruce rolls his eyes and grins up at Jeremiah defiantly, tasting blood in his teeth. "While I certainly seduced a few choice criminals," he drawls with a voice sugary sweet, "it also helps to treat them as people and not as little pet projects, Jeremiah."  
  
The next hit causes the chair to tip back. Bruce moans dizzily. His entire face fucking hurts and it's a true crime they're trying to ruin it. He looks up fuzzily to see what he was hit with and grimaces when he sees a metal rod.  
  
Jeremiah seethes above him. "I'm going to fucking kill you. I'm going to gut you and then I'll get my goddamn job back." he whispers as he crouches before Bruce.  
  
Bruce spits in his face, watching in satisfaction when blood lands on his cheek. "Do your worst, Arkham. They'll kill you for this and Jim won't protect you."  
  
Jeremiah beckons one of his guards over and the man cocks the gun. "I don't need Jimmy boy's protection."  
  
They're all startled when the windows collectively smash in. A flash of something dark whizzes by and Jeremiah falls backwards when it connects with his head. Bruce laughs knowingly as horrified yells begin to echo through the warehouse.  
  
The chair he's bound to is rightened and Bruce meets Dick's grinning face. "Hey, dad. Been a while since Bruce Wayne's needed a rescue."  
  
"Found the syringe, did you?" Bruce asks as he's untied rather quickly.  
  
Dick nods. "Tim can work wonders. Had Selina and Damian track down buyers. Some drug even Joker didn't know about. Made it a lot easier to find out where a bunch of the shipments were, though."  
  
Barbara laughs, eyes bright and grin wide as she flounces past them. "Arkham's a fuckin' moron for that! Moving into a warehouse full of the stuff? Ameteur moves, you know?" she scorns and Bruce can't help but laugh. She then darts through the fray of shouting guards and the sudden gunshots, dodging gracefully around them.  
  
Bruce gets his first real look at the chaos when Dick finally manages to get him free. The man smoothes down his dress as he looks upon the crowd. Everyone is there.  
  
Selina and Barbara have seemingly teamed up, backs pressed against one another and watching each other with ease despite their clothing restrictions. Jason is in the middle of slamming a guard's face into his knee, tossing them away immediately without a single thought. Nygma is seemingly having a little too much fun, his distinctive cane wrapping around limbs and throats while Cobblepot jumps in occasionally to beat them. It seems to be a rather odd bonding experience between them.  
  
Joker's distinct cackles have Bruce's gaze snapping to where Jeremiah had made a break for it, darting for the back door but Joker seems to have caught sight of him easily. The Clown Prince of Crime dances above him playfully with wild, elated eyes while his gun shoots around Arkham's feet. The man lives for this and has decided to play with Jeremiah for a bit longer.  
  
"Run, run, little lamb," he sings from the rafters, twirling on the beams while he laughs. Bruce shakes his head in disapproval.  
  
He calls, "I want him alive and in one piece, Joker!"  
  
"Oh, boo, Brucie! You're always ruining the fun, you know?" Joker shouts back as he nearly puts a bullet in Jeremiah's leg. The doctor screams and dives to the side, scrambling back against the wall.  
  
"Down you go!" Damian's gleeful voice calls. Bruce turns his attention to where Damian's boots have connected briefly to a guard's head. The guard's body goes down and Damian springs away onto Harvey's shoulders. Harvey finishes the guard off with a swift kick to the head.  
  
"Bombs away!" Langstrom shouts and Cass falls into the fray and takes one guard to the ground smoothly. She whips out her elbow and hits someone solidly in the throat. They gag and she turns, leg swinging up to connect her shoe and their face. They go to the ground in time for Karlo to leap over the guard and smash his enlarged fist into their face. The guard sails backwards into two more. They all crumple into a heap of limbs and pained groans.  
  
Langstrom picks up one guard in his talons to toss through the air. Bane catches them easily and passes them off to Waylon, who then tosses them home into a group of fleeing guards. The group fly into the air in a way that would almost be comical if it were on television. Bruce watches Tim use the group as a springboard to launch himself over two other guards and over to where Joker stands between Jeremiah and the doors. Tim only snatches a metal rod without stopping his pace and throws it through the air. It sails, spinning wildly until it slams into Jeremiah's head.  
  
The guards Tim leapt over are suddenly flying in the air as flowers bloom through the cracks of the cement and shoot upward. "I hope we're not late," Ivy says as vines writhe and snatch up men and women alike, "but Harley wanted to grab her skates. How could I say no to such a cute face, you know?"  
  
Harley giggles. "You promised to go skatin' with me after we get Mr. Moneybags 'ere. I'm just bein' prepared!" she says as she enters into the mass of bodies and weapons. She ducks underneath a sailing body and twirls wildly, trusty hammer in her hands.  
  
Damian shrieks and scrambles away from her range. "Watch it with that thing! I do not intend to get stuck in bed with a concussion!"  
  
Cass lands beside him neatly and says coolly, "You seem to have a permanent one from when you were dropped as a baby."  
  
Damian lunges at her and Jason snags him around the waist neatly, stealing him away to another section of the room.  
  
Bruce can't help but be proud of them. Everyone he can't help but love working together to help him. All those emotions must show on his face because Dick throws an arm around his shoulders and smooshes their cheeks together. "Havin' fun being the damsel in distress for once?"  
  
"Oh it's just a fuckin' blast," Bruce says, voice rough. Dick laughs and watch as everything begins to wrap itself up.  
  
Selina drops the last body from where she choked them into unconsciousness. Ivy dusts off her skirt and welcomes Harley back to her side with a soft kiss. Nygma leaps over a few bodies nimbly, eyes shining. "That was fun. You sure know how to spoil a guy, Brucie," he chirps, foot lashing out to stomp on someone when they begin to reach for a fallen gun nearby. They jolt in pain and fall back to the floor while Cobblepot kicks the gun away.  
  
"I try, Nygma," Bruce deadpans and the man laughs.  
  
"Call me Eddie, Bruce. We've been friends for months now, haven't we?" Nyg- _Eddie_ -says casually.  
  
They're all going to be the death of him one day.  
  
Bruce turns when footsteps approach and Joker returns with a little smirk on his lips and Jeremiah being dragged behind him. Tim looks rather furious but he brightens when he spots Bruce.  
  
Joker says, looking like the cat that caught the canary, "Your little friend is here safe and sound. Don't mind the bruising or the broken wrist; that was all your little birdie, here."  
  
Tim nods. "Bastard deserved it. He can deal."  
  
Bruce shakes his head in exasperation. "Thank you, I think. Let's get him tied up for when the police gets here, yes?"  
  
Dick and Jason stoop down to grab the rope Bruce had been restrained with earlier and truss Jeremiah up tightly. The man doesn't even twitch, mouth hanging open and eyes shut. Damian helps them drag him into the pile of bodies and place him on top while Ivy works on coaxing her plants into smaller sizes.  
  
Bruce sighs, relaxing slowly, then glances around the collective group. "Did you all really work together? Because the last time you saw them you hated them on sight," Bruce asks hesitantly. Selina shrugs as she approaches him, thumb brushing over the forming bruises on his face.  
  
"Crazy things happen when someone you all care for goes missing like a complete moron," she teases quietly. Bruce nearly melts, and proceeds to do so against Harvey's side when the man slides a hesitant arm around his shoulders.  
  
He rumbles, "We were frantic. Stop getting hurt, Brucie, it's not good for our health."  
  
'We' as in Two-Face, too? Did they both really care about him in the same way? The same amount? Harvey presses a kiss to the side of his head and Bruce finally says, "No, uh, no promises. It's kind of fun, you know?"  
  
They all collectively groan. Bruce breaks out into laughter at the response, and Damian grimaces as he stretches his arms above his head. "I will literally kill you, Father. My back hurts and I'm getting to old for this type of thing."  
  
"I've been doing this type of thing for years, Dami, so what does that make me?"  
  
Jason grins from where he's now seated on Bane's shoulders, head propped up by his hand with his elbow resting on Bane's head. "Fuckin' _ancient_ , old man." Despite his teasing words his eyes are bright with amusement and fondness. Bruce snorts and points at his son with a mock scowl.  
  
"Cheeky _brat_."  
  
Barbara rolls her eyes in clear exasperation and jerks her head to the side while she pockets her phone. "Alright, alright; you're all a bunch of fucking fossils, it seems. Let's get the hell outta here. Dad said he'll clean up real discreet-like and meet us at the manor with Renee."  
  
Bruce nods and they all begin to pick their way through the warehouse. Damian has climbed onto Waylon's back and is seemingly content to stay there. Cass perches on Langstrom's shoulders as the man glides through the entrance, wind whipping her hair around. Dick skips ahead to walk with Barbara, their hands clasped together while she whispers something to him with a sweet smile. Dick's face practically radiates love as he listens.  
  
Harley skates slowly with Ivy by her side, the blonde chattering a mile a minute at her girlfriend. Eddie and Cobblepot both stick with them (and Bruce _knows_ Eddie enjoys their company despite the vicious teasing Ivy and Eddie trade back and forth) and listen to whatever story Harley's telling.  
  
Surprisingly enough, Jason and Joker linger near each other. The tension is clear between them (Bruce has no doubt in his mind Joker has figured out what Robin it was he fought all those years ago) but they walk near each other nonetheless. Bruce dearly hopes it won't escalate to something worse. Joker always knew what buttons he shouldn't be pressing and almost always jumps on the chance to mash them repeatedly in hopes of a reaction.  
  
"I never got to ask," Bruce says quietly, "but where's Fries?"  
  
A smile touches Selina's lips and she looks up at Bruce happily. "He made a breakthrough in the cure for Nora. We urged him to stay behind and but he did want us to tell you he'd like to see you tomorrow."  
  
Bruce's eyes brighten. "That's great! Seeing him get discouraged whenever we reached a dead end was heartbreaking," he says softly and Harvey nods.  
  
"Glad he's getting closer. Always so heartbreaking when we worked together. Poor guy just wants his wife back."  
  
They walk in the early morning hours back to the manor. It's a long walk, and some of them eventually complain at the gravel getting in their shoes, or how much their feet hurt, and damn their legs are getting cold from the dresses, but Bruce still enjoys it all. He's surrounded by almost all of his favorite people (and _would_ be surrounded by every one of them soon enough).  
  
Bruce stumbles through the manor doors with his exhausted friends and family feeling nothing but joy, and contentment, and _love_ for them all.  
  
Maybe he should get kidnapped more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> arkham: im gonna mcfucking kill bruce wayne  
> a gang of reforming criminals and bruce's family: u are dumb, unattractive, unworthy-
> 
> i feel SO bad because you guys came up with such good villains that would absolutely kidnap bruce (some of which will be included in future stories coming yall's way sometime in the future, one which will have talia and jon working together which im pretty hyped about since my other story had to go on the back burner for a bit,,,) but it's just arkham :/


	13. End :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Grande Finale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!
> 
> this is the end, everyone. I know I said it last time but thank you all SO much for being here with me and giving me this much support lol I had no idea y'all would enjoy this so much. Writing Bruce being a himbo was absolutely fun as hell and I'm thankful y'all liked it too! You've all been amazing and I love y'all lots <3

Waking up in the morning with aching muscles and bruises decorating his body isn't new to Bruce. He's done this for years and has encountered various vicious criminals. However, Bruce notes, those aches hurt less when he's waking up next to someone he adores with his whole heart.  
  
Selina has her face buried in the pillow next to him. Her hair is wild and tangled, and there's drool on her cheek. The covers are almost entirely covering her body which leaves half of Bruce's body uncovered and cold. Regardless, Bruce finds his heart nearly bursting at the sight of her.  
  
The man skims his hand over her cheek delicately and Selina's nose twitches. He lets out a quiet laugh and lets his fingers dance down her face and over her arm. The woman finally opens her eyes groggily and squints at him.  
  
"The fuck 're you doin'?" she grumbles, shifting to curl up closer to him. Bruce snickers and pinches her arm this time. Selina's eyes narrow angrily at him.  
  
"Get up. We both have work, you know," Bruce tells her quietly. Selina groans and turns onto her back. Then, she throws her arms over her head and stretches, back arching sharply and her legs tensing.  
  
They both slide out of the bed and stumble into the large bathroom. They work around each other with practiced ease, Selina brushing her teeth while Bruce relieves himself and vice versa. Then, they shower together while exchanging sweet kisses. Bruce washes her hair, feeling warm not just from the shower while she melts against him at the head massage.  
  
The two of them dress for the day and make their way downstairs for breakfast. Alfred looks up as they enter and a smile graces the man's lips.  
  
"Master Bruce, Miss Selina; just in time," he greets them while he moves toward the table with plates loaded along his arms and in his hands. Bruce will never understand how he manages to make that look so easy. They'd all tried it and Dick was the only one with any luck other than Alfred. The man hadn't stopped laughing at them and the amount of plates broken that day was ungodly.  
  
Selina takes her seat at the opposite side of the table. They begin on their breakfast, going through their plans for the day together and when they'll be able to meet up again to visit. Ten minutes pass and they both look to the doorway when Jon enters with a bright smile, dragging Damian in behind him by the wrist.  
  
"Good morning, all!" he chirps and Damian groans at the noise.  
  
"Shut up, Kent."  
  
Jon rolls his eyes and holds up his hand with a smug smile. "Soon to be Kent-Wayne, Dami, and don't you forget it!"  
  
Damian eyes the ring on Jon's left hand with a pleased expression and doesn't speak again. Jon presses a kiss to both Selina and Bruce's cheeks. He does stop to hug Alfred before he helps Damian into his seat and throws himself into the one next to him. Jon livens up the chatter a bit more, talking a mile a minute to all of them.  
  
Dick enters the room next with Tim and Cass with him. Lois and Clark follow behind shortly and Jon waves at them cheerily from his spot.  
  
"Jason's on his way with Barbara. Morons stayed up all night to watch some shitty rom-coms," Tim tells them while he takes his seat.  
  
Dick pouts, propping up his head with his hand and says, "It's not fair. They said it was "Red-Head Bonding Night" and booted me out! It was my room!"  
  
Damian snickers and Lois takes a bite of her toast, clearly amused. "Ever since Jason dyed his hair those two haven't given it a rest."  
  
"You know I never thought those two would get along so well. It's almost scary," Bruce comments and Clark nods along solemnly, pointing his fork at Bruce with a shudder.  
  
"Did you know I found those two in the _vents_ of the Daily Planet? I have no idea what they were doing there nor how they even got there but I looked up and _there they were_. Just... _staring_."  
  
Damian cackles and nudges Tim with a knowing smile. Tim rolls his eyes and says, "They were just fucking with you, Uncle Clark. Those two did that to me too. Bastards," Tim grumbles and shoves a forkful of eggs in his mouth.  
  
There are rapid footsteps and there's suddenly a beaming, red haired Jason with his arm around Tim's shoulders. "Talkin' about us?" Jason teases and Tim shrieks in surprise, fork reflexively slamming into the table where Jason's other hand rests. Jason, thankfully, snatches it away and bursts into laughter.  
  
Tim's cheeks flush in embarrassment as he and Barbara laugh, the woman sliding into the empty seat next to Dick. Jason sits next to Tim while the young man slaps at Jason's shoulder. He shouts, "Stop fucking _doing that_!"  
  
Cass smirks from where she sips from her coffee and murmurs, "Maybe I should dye my hair."  
  
Horrified looks are shot her way and Selina laughs a little more nervously than usual. "Cass, honey, I don't know about that."  
  
Clark buries his face in his hands. "Please don't. I can't take anymore of them. Every time I turn around at work they're _there_ ," he moans pitifully and Lois pats his shoulder mockingly.  
  
"There, there, darling," she drawls playfully, "the big, bad Waynes won't get you this time." Jon cackles at the words and looks at a curl of his own hair consideringly. " _No_ , Jon," Lois says firmly and Jon pouts at her.  
  
"I was just thinking about it!" he defends and Damian's lip curls in disgust.  
  
"If you dye it I'm going to break up with you."  
  
Jon sneers and shoves at his shoulder, beginning to rise from his chair. "Yeah, yeah. You say that about five times a day, Dami. Come on, Cass, we've got work."  
  
That gets everyone moving. Dick stands to help Alfred with the dishes while Barbara makes her way to Selina's side. Cass, Tim, and Jon all begin to head out in a hurry while Jason finishes up his own breakfast. Bruce hops to his feet to join the crowd, chattering with Lois as they all make their way toward the door for their shoes and coats.  
  
Bruce shimmies into his black overcoat and kisses Selina goodbye, everyone moving out to their own cars or whoever they're riding with. Bruce heads out alone with a content smile.  
  
The drive out isn't as long as Blackgate, so he's rather pleased with the opportunity to head out later than he used to. He pulls into the parking lot and admires the sleek new building. It's less ominous than before, and even the automatic doors is more comforting than the squealing thing from the past.  
  
The walls are smooth and freshly painted. The technology (Bruce had splurged quite a bit) is advanced, new, and the receptionist looks up from where he's looking between a computer and a compact tablet to greet Bruce with a smile.  
  
Bruce signs in with the tablet, using the pen to scrawl out his signature, and heads away with a wave.  
  
He's on his way to his office to pick up a few files he'd left behind a few days ago that will be essential for one of his meetings later that day. Juggling work between his companies and this job wasn't easy. When you threw being Batman into the mix things got more and more complicated than they should be. Fortunately, things got easier over time and Bruce is proud to say he's able to spend a lot of time with his family and friends as well. Sometimes, he can manage to get a nice hour of quiet to himself, too, when he needs it.  
  
Bruce unlocks his office door and rolls his eyes at the sight that greets him. Joker lounges in his chair. He's flipping through a manila folder and taking large bites from some expensive looking chocolate bars. Bruce is almost positive they're the ones he ordered from Germany last week.  
  
Joker looks up and tosses aside his folder with a grin. "Bruce! My favorite bat and _just_ the man I wanted to see!"  
  
Feeling exasperated, Bruce shuts the door behind him and begins to unbutton his coat. "What is it this time, Joker?" he asks, slapping at the man's ankles until he removes his legs from on top of Bruce's desk.  
  
"Well, I need a new blanket. And glitter. And maybe one of those big bottles of glue if you see them."  
  
"Absolutely _not_. I just got you a new comforter, Joker, where the hell are they going? And I know _exactly_ what you're planning here," Bruce says, snatching the file Joker abandoned off of the desk. Joker pouts up at him and clasps his hands in front of his chest, eyes wide.  
  
He pleads, "Come _on_ , Bruce! I can't go out to get them myself or someone will throw a hissy fit."  
  
Bruce stares him down for only a few seconds before groaning and smacking the man on the head with the folder. "Nobody gets maimed or killed, and I don't want _anyone_ sent to therapy," Bruce lists off. Joker nods enthusiastically and Bruce rolls his eyes. "Alright; I'll get all three for you."  
  
The man cheers and throws himself at Bruce. "Oh, you're the _best_ , Bats! You know, maybe I should make a stop outside of here. You know, spend dinner with the family?"  
  
"Jesus fuck, Joker, _no_. Selina and I are coming here tonight to have dinner with Harvey. Don't ruin this," Bruce says while he sets up his laptop.  
  
Joker's grin becomes even wider and he sings, "Wine an' dining him? How exciting!" Bruce flushes and pushes Joker from his chair. Joker falls more dramatically than Bruce expects and sprawls out on the floor with a faux agonized shriek. "This is patient abuse!"  
  
Bruce laughs and takes his seat. "Fuckin' sue me, Joker."  
  
Joker grins toothily and throws out finger guns at him complete with 'pew pew' sounds. "I will, and Harve will represent me now that he's back on the big-shot-lawyer train."  
  
It makes Bruce smile to think about. "Yeah," he murmurs, fingers pausing where they were pushing open his laptop. Joker make a retching noise from the floor and Bruce points at him, knowing damn well he's going to tease him for this. "Not a word, asshole."  
  
Joker only throws up his hands in front of him and blinks innocently.  
  


* * *

  
The nurses are clad in much more comfortable looking uniforms. Some push shining silver carts while others are guiding various residents around the building patiently. Bruce takes a few minutes to greet them all warmly before heading away to the more high security area. At this point the security is more of a formality than a necessity, though.  
  
Bruce presses his fingerprint over the scanner and steps through the doors into a large room. There's a blaring television on both side walls while black couches are in front of them. There's appliances, such as the coffee maker that seems to hate him, the toaster (that was broken _three times_ in the past few months), and even a nice stove Pamela had picked.  
  
"Hello, everyone. How are we doing today?"  
  
Harley waves from where she lounges in pajamas next to Pamela, a tub of ice cream in her hands. Bud perks up from where he's laying on the ground in front of a coffee table and Lou's tail begins to thump. "Hi, Bruce! I thought ya said you had one'a those fancy schmancy meetings ta get to today?"  
  
Bruce smiles and shrugs. "Doesn't start for another two hours. Three, if that Brent Willows is there. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him arrive on time," he grumbles and Pamela snorts at his words.  
  
Harley and Pamela both only have another three months of being in here. They still had mandatory therapy but Harley doesn't care. She's excited and they seemingly have plans for the future that aren't going to be stopped by having to drop by therapy a few times a week.  
  
Eddie is at the other television with Oswald seated next to him. They're playing what seems to be a never ending game of chess while Harvey watches the TV idly, stuffing another chip into his mouth. Bruce approaches and drops next Harvey with a bright smile.  
  
"How are you all doing today?"  
  
Oswald takes a quick puff of his cigar before he answers, "Our wedding is in two months and this little shit still hasn't told me what he wants our wedding to be like. How do you think I'm doing?"  
  
Eddie makes an offended noise. “I’m deciding, Os, okay?!”  
  
Bruce laughs. “Have a little sympathy for your fiance, Oswald,” Bruce says and Eddie nods quickly. “As long as he doesn’t try for some mystery themed wedding then I think it’ll be alright,” he finishes.  
  
There’s silence that lingers in the air and Oswald’s eyes narrow. “Eds,” he drawls sweetly, “I _know_ you weren’t thinking of that. I _know_ my smart, darling, _wonderful_ fiance was _not_ going to try and have a puzzle related wedding.”  
  
Eddie doesn’t meet his eyes and stares down at the chessboard. “Jesus,” Harvey mutters in exasperation, “I’ll help you, Eddie. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”  
  
“Great; I’ve got a fucking stiff lawyer helping plan this too,” Oswald jokes and Harvey slaps the man on his knee.  
  
“Fuck off, bird.”  
  
Bruce looks up when a door opens and Basil Karlo enters the room. His bags are packed and he’s in street clothes for the first time in a while. “Basil!” Bruce calls, waving at the man as he’s escorted past where Bruce sits.  
  
Basil waves with a grin, eyes bright. “Mr Wayne! Can you believe it? I’ve managed to make it out of here without the threat of being dragged back hanging over my head for the first time,” he says cheerfully. Bruce stands carefully, knees cracking lightly which makes Harvey laugh.  
  
Bruce kicks at Harvey’s own leg gently and steps around him to grasp at Basil’s outstretched hand. He pulls the man in a friendly hug, then pulls away after a moment. “Are you going to work on being an actor again or try something new?”  
  
The man laughs, human looking form shifting with his excitement. “Are you kidding? These agencies are scrambling for an actor like me now that I’ve gone through therapy for a bit.”  
  
Bruce snickers. “They have every right to, you know? You’re talented as hell, and I expect a free ticket to your next movie,” he says mock sternly. Basil salutes playfully before he sobers up. Bruce follows him to the door, squeezing his shoulder when they stop in front of it.  
  
“Seriously though, Mr. Wayne; thank you. You really helped, you know.”  
  
Bruce smiles and murmurs, “It was my pleasure. You stay safe out there, alright?”  
  
Basil nods again and walks through the doors while followed by a few guards he chatters with excitedly. They look rather entertained by whatever he’s telling them and Bruce can’t help but grin fondly. Langstrom would be walking through that door in just two weeks, too. Fries had a while to go but with Nora up and recovering slowly in therapy (for her mind and for her body) as well he was sure the man was working hard at making progress.  
  
He spends the rest of his free time there. He ends up allowing all the patients outside, rounding up Bane and Waylon to allow them to join in. Pamela tends to her growing garden and lets Harley assist her in the crowing process. Waylon immediately takes to his outside pool, slapping his tail against the water until he soaks Harvey enough to convince him to join him. Joker throws himself in alongside Harvey with a cackle.  
  
Dr. Crane looks irritated at the sun and takes refuge underneath a nearby umbrella. They were more meant for patients like Fries but Bruce allows it. Eddie takes to the water immediately, floating along as Oswald only dips his legs in, slacks rolled up to his knees.  
  
Jervis is on his way to climb the fence-something he manages to accomplish every time-just to wander into the parking lot. He knows the man is chasing after the few strays cats that like to hang around the building to be fed. Unfortunately, Bruce doesn’t have time to fill up a basket of food and join him so he sends Drury back inside to grab it for him.  
  
He’s just about ready to head out when his phone vibrates against his leg. The man sighs in annoyance and fishes it out from his coat pocket. He accepts the call and presses the phone to his ear, walking a few steps away from the yelling of the patients.  
  
“Wayne,” he greets.  
  
“Hey, Bruce, I got good news for you,” Jim’s voice filters through. Bruce perks up. Good news? Good news meant they were going to get the chance to take a vacation, or one of his kids had a breakthrough in their new designs for their gadget plans.  
  
“Alright; hit me with it.”  
  
Jim sounds amused but he says, “You’ve got a new face coming your way in ten minutes. I’m sending Tim over to Wayne Enterprises to cover for you and your meeting right now.”  
  
Bruce pumps his fist silently. “You have no idea how much I love you right now. You are the light of my life, my _soulmate_. Jim I will _marry you_.”  
  
Jim breaks out into peals of laughter over the phone. “I’ll be waiting for a big, fat diamond ring, Bruce. I want it _engraved_.”  
  
Bruce sends him playful kisses through the phone and hangs up. Bruce might actually buy him that ring if it meant he didn’t have to listen to those long, boring meetings where the people around him just talked endlessly in those monotone voices. Just thinking about it made Bruce want to tear his hair out.  
  
Now, however, this was much better. Bruce waves to the group of patients in the yard and heads back inside. He passes Drury with a smile and makes his way back to the lobby. He leans on the desk with a pleased sigh and says, “Hey again, Oliver; we’re expecting a new patient in a couple of minutes. I have no idea who it is yet so I’d keep security on standby,” he says.  
  
Oliver nods and leans over to pick up the phone and call the head of security. Bruce looks up when there’s a loud rumbling outside, and he brightens. Oliver snorts at the expression he must be making.  
  
“There’s your new patient sir; work your magic like usual.”  
  
Bruce winks and drops his bag and coat on the desk. “Watch that for me, would you?” he says then makes his way to the doors. He steps through them and waves at the parked truck. A woman, Sargent Caroline Reed, makes her way to shake his hand with a small smile.  
  
“We’ve got you a new friend since Basil is on his way to California as we speak,” Sergeant Reed says. A few officers linger nearby in case they’re needed but Bruce hears the back of the truck being opened and a furious grunt.  
  
Bruce’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise and a small smile curls on his lips despite the surly look being shot at him. “Welcome, Mr. Lawton, to the Gotham Hospital for Wayward Criminals,” Bruce says as he approaches him, “I do hope you enjoy your stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> superheroes: i have 0 fears  
> any of the batkids: suddenly i would like to dye my hair red  
> superheroes: one fear!!!!
> 
> There you have it! Everyone is having fun and will be moving on with their lives because Bruce decided to stop crime through the power of being a decent human being.
> 
> That being said I have a new DC fic in the works. All of you Jon fans?? Get ready because it'll be posted sometime within the month. Featuring an OC villain ready to get her ass kicked and Jon working with Talia herself. It's gonna be super fun and I'm very excited because I've never written Talia before :)
> 
> In other news, any Legend of Zelda fans should check out my fic because it's gonna be pretty fun as well because Link partners with a Lynel and decides not to try and throw hands with Ganon alone.

**Author's Note:**

> officer just trying to be reasonable: should u rlly tell twoface of all people this shit?  
> bruce: ugh, this bitch 
> 
> Please comment and let me know if you like where this is heading at all. Bruce and Harvey are very OOC but here Bruce has been visiting Harvey in Arkham and they're on very good terms with each other, so I imagine they'd be a little softer around each other most of the time.
> 
> The Batfam will show up but not 'till later! Trust me, it'll be very entertaining!
> 
> Have a wonderful day to those who read this :)


End file.
